Crimson Torture
by Ellynne's Blood
Summary: My twisted thoughts of how New Moon could have gone. The Cullens leave and Bella is left with a vengeful vampire who is intent on torturing her and causing her the pain she has to live with since her mate was killed. A Bella/Jasper story. Rated M for mature content. Hope you enjoy! Read and Review please. Stephanie Meyer's sandbox I just play with the toys! updated every 2-3 weeks
1. Chapter 1

She stands there on the edge of the cliff, the wind blowing her dark hair all around her face. Tears streak down her sallow cheeks. Her skin has always been pale but now after 9 months of heartache, illness, and pain had taken their tole her pale skin which at one time had been pretty now took on a look of death; the dark circles under her eyes looked like purple bruises. Her once deep chocolate brown eyes that were always so lively were dull and lifeless in her sunken sockets. Standing tall reaching her full five foot three inches, the wind and rain making her long sleeved t-shirt cling to her slight form even with the shirt you could see her ribs. It was amazing that the wind didn't pick her up and carry her away. She came out here to the cliffs almost every day now; standing at the ledge strengthening her resolve to jump to end the pain before finally stepping back and crumpling to the ground. She had made her mind up a few days ago that the next time would be her last she would finally take the plunge. Today was that day she had had enough of the pain, the torture, the heartache. It was time to end it. She stood there with her eyes closed, feeling the wind and rain whip around her, with a slight smile playing on her lips she stepped forward waiting for the fall. At that precise moment she felt two stone arms wrap around her small frame pulling her into a hard chest. Her mind knew in an instant it wasn't Him. Her mind raced as she felt the rush of the wind and felt the movement of her body, behind her eye lids the light faded knowing she was being swept in to the woods.

It clicked as to who this was and she whispered his name "Laurent." She will still die today just not the way she expected. She felt herself pinned to a tree by two strong hands with an iron grip. She heard his growl as she tilted her head to the side giving complete access to the vein in her neck awaiting the piercing pain as he bit in to her. Her relief flooded through her knowing the end was at hand until she heard his voice.

"Bella? Bella! What are you doing? I will not allow you to harm yourself." She felt her confusion as she knew he felt it too. He was the empath. "Jasper?" Crap she wasn't going to die today. Alice had "seen" and she was being rescued. She felt her anger boiling, she had wanted to end this pain, this torture and now she was in the arms of a "safe" vampire. She growled and hissed at him knowing it was fruitless, she struggled to get away. "God dammit, Bella, open your eyes. Look at me and stop with all the despair. I won't let you harm yourself. I won't let you take your self from me, your family, and Edward." As he spoke His name she growled ferociously as the whole in her chest tore wide open. The heat ache and loss coupled with worthlessness and despair.

If it wasn't for the warmth coming from her body and her heartbeat, the sound that ripped through her throat would have made him think she had been turned. As he looked at her he saw her skin was now just as pale as his and the dark circles under her eyes looked all too familiar. The pain she felt hit him like a blow to his chest. She opened her eyes and looked up into his face; her big brown eyes that once held so much light and life were now dull and lifeless. He locked eyes with her, "Lets get you home. Charlie needs to know what you've been up to and it may be a good idea to take away your keys. I'm going to have to have talk with him." "I don't live there anymore." Her voice soft barely a whisper, but she knew he heard her. "What do you mean Bella? Where do you live?" " I .. I moved into your old house. I couldn't stay with Charlie anymore, it wasn't safe for him to have me around." She looked down at her feet. He stepped back eyeing her up and down, before giving a quick nod. He moved to pick her up and carry her, she shook her head. "I can walk you know." She looked around trying to get her bearings but having no idea the direction he had moved her through the woods she wasn't sure which way to go to get to the truck she had been borrowing. He turned following the path he had took and retraced his steps much slower so she could keep up. They walked in silence, he was headed back to the clearing he had found her at. She walked slightly behind him trying to keep up and not trip over her own feet she stumbled only a couple of times on roots and bushes that lined the forest floor. But both times she was able to catch herself before she fell though she knew if she actually fell she would never hit the ground. once they got to the clearing he turned and looked at her ready to fallow her to her truck. She shuffled her feet for a moment before looking up at him.

" Ok. So... uh... as far as Charlie knows I moved back to Phoenix, I'm 18 there for I can legally live on my own. I keep myself hidden for the most part but when I have to leave to go shopping I go to Olympia for one and my truck is parked behind one of the garages hidden under some brush I uh borrowed one of the vehicles left in the garage. One of the less ostentatious vehicles." she ducked her head wondering if he would be upset with her stealing the truck from the garage. She looked up at him when she heard the chuckle that escaped him. "So the Chief's daughter has resorted to breaking and entering and theft. Wonder what else you've gotten yourself into." She gave him a smirk and turned walking towards where she had parked the forest green Dodge Ram. When she got to the truck she automatically went to the driver side only to be stopped by a hand on her shoulder she stopped and looked up at him, he had a small smirk playing on his lips, "My truck, I drive." Taking the keys from her hand he was already sitting in the drivers seat waiting for her to come around to the passenger side. Once she was seated in the passenger seat judging her emotions she was ready to go. He cocked his head, he'd heard as the Chief's daughter she was all about obeying the laws; seat belts and going the speed limit apparently that all had changed. He put the truck in gear and started driving to his old home.

" Ok Bella there's a lot that you need to explain so that I can understand everything going on. Why is Charlie in danger with you around? Why is it that you think your only way out is through death. Please talk to me, help me understand." Bella gave a deep sigh. She didn't want to but she understood Jasper needed to know. "Take me home and I'll explain, I just really need a drink before I go into it." Jasper nodded and headed the truck back towards the Cullen's place. Once they got back to the house and the truck was back in the garage they walked slowly to the front door Jasper keeping pace with her. She paused at the front door shuffling her feet and looking down, not ready to go in and face the music so to speak. She had caused so much damage to the house taking out her anger out on everything that had to do with Him. She felt guilty about it now, she knew Esme would be very upset when she saw the house. Bella still hadn't moved, Jasper standing behind her was frowning and growing impatient. "Bella, your emotions are all over the place. What's wrong? Come on, you've been standing here for a few minutes lets get inside, or do you need me to help you?" He smirked down at her. Taking a deep breath to calm herself she opened the door and entered the house. She headed straight to the kitchen Jasper followed behind taking a seat at the island counter, waiting while watching her. She went to the pantry and walked inside grabbing a bottle of soda out of the case that sat on the floor under the bottom shelf to the right of the door. Exiting the pantry she closed the door behind her and walked over to the counter reaching above the microwave she opened the cupboard door and reached in and pulled down a bottle of vodka, taking off the lid she took a long drink then replaced the lid; grabbing both the bottle of booze and the bottle of soda she carried them over and placed them on the island across from Jasper. Turning she went to the drawer next to the sink and opened it grabbing out a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and an ashtray. Carrying them in one hand she grabbed both bottles by the necks with her other hand and walked around the island heading in to the dining room and sitting at the long table and set everything down and took a seat. Jasper who had gotten up and followed her walked around the table and took a seat across from her.

She looked him straight in the eye almost daring him to say anything as she took the lid off the bottle of vodka and took another drink, she put the bottle back down on the table then grabbed the soda and took the lid off and took a drink. The Dr. Pepper adding to the burn in her throat from the alcohol she made a slight face at the burn unable to help it, then picked up the pack of smokes, taking one out she lit it and inhaled deeply. Jasper smirked at her, "Well I guess you've changed a lot more then just your appearance there Bella." She gave him a small smile, "actually there's a lot you all didn't know about me. Though the smoking is a new habit I picked up but it helps calm my nerves." He sat and watched as she smoked her cigarette, not wanting to push but at the same time starting to grow impatient. He knew there was a lot he needed to know and the sooner the better. He had picked up the scents as soon as he walked into the house one was old but it was the other that worried him most. "So Isabella what is with the self-destruction. Drinking, smoking, and then trying to throw yourself off a cliff?" She didn't respond just shook her head as she snuffed out her cigarette in the ash tray. He needed answers. She grabbed the bottle of vodka and took another swig then chased it down with a swig of her soda before pulling out another cigarette, she sat there holding the cigarette playing with it between her fingers. She stared down at it trying to get her thoughts in order, she took a deep breath. Slowly she brought it to her lips, lit it, then inhaled. She stared down at the table not wanting to look up at him she began to talk.

"I'm not trying to self-destruct, though I know that's how it looks. I'm just trying to survive, and forgive me for having a few weak moments where surviving is just to damn hard and painful. Smoking helps me stay calm as much as I can anyway." she took a long drag and exhaled slowly, she tapped her ash in the ashtray and stared at the cherry of her cigarette. "The alcohol well I have a few reasons for that, for a little while it helps numb the pain, it doesn't help me forget though. Some days I wish it would other days I'm glad it doesn't. I want to remember but at the same time I wish I could forget." She paused for a moment her breath caught in her throat she closed her eyes but couldn't stop the few tears that fell making a trail down her cheek. She continued to smoke her cigarette in silence, when she snuffed it out in the ashtray she wiped her tears, and grabbed her bottle of soda took a swig trying to swallow down her tears. She looked up at him, "I'm sorry I'm not as strong as you all thought I was." She averted her eyes looking down at the table taking a breath before she tried to speak again. "I ... They... I'm... crap I can't even begin to try to." She couldn't complete a sentence let alone a thought her emotions all over the place but her terror and pain at the fore front. Jasper got up and moved around the table sitting next to her putting an arm around her shoulders he sent calm out into the room letting it swirl around them.

"I have isolated myself here. No one knows I'm here. Charlie thinks I went back to Phoenix. I can't be around anyone, I would rather have her torture me then hurt anyone else. She likes to toy with me, it's a game, torture the poor defenseless human girl. She's going to make me crazy before she kills me, though I'm beginning to wonder if she will kill me, maybe just torment, and torture me till I die of old age. She wants me to pay for what He did. A person can only go through so much pain before it's just too much and all you want is just to end it. It may be selfish but I think after all I've been through I'm entitled to a little selfishness." The tears had began to flow making tracks down her cheeks she let the sobs out as they wracked her frail form. He pulled her close into his chest holding her till her sobs diminished, he felt her hand on his chest as she gave a light push, he pulled back a bit releasing his hold and looked down into her eyes. Her eyes locked on his filled with urgency and panic. "You have to leave Jasper. You have to go before she comes back. I won't let you get hurt over me. I can't do that to Alice. I'm not worth it, just go back to them, go back to Alice."

"Isabella Marie. I'm not going anywhere. I will not leave you. Tell me, who? Who is doing this to you?" She shook her head, "No Jasper. I won't allow you to get hurt over me." Jasper placed his fingers under her chin forcing her to look up at him holding her gaze he gave her a smirk. "You won't allow me?" He held her gaze and softly blew a breath in her face, "Now tell me who, Bella." She sighed as her eyes glazed over for a moment before she shook her head trying to rid herself of the fog that blanketed her brain for a moment. You can't deny vampires anything, "V.. Victoria." she spoke so softly it came out barely a whisper. A low growl rumbled in his chest, the only word she could make out amongst the growls was "Why?" She sighed at his question, she didn't want to go into it all. Rehashing all the old memories, having to remember it all. She also knew he wouldn't drop it, he wanted answers, and thought he deserved answers. Though she wasn't exactly sure why he all of the sudden he had deemed himself her protector. She grabbed the bottle of vodka and chugged it after putting it back on the table she wrapped her arms around her middle trying to hold the pieces together; pain was coming and she was going to have to try to hold it in as much as possible. She looked up at him letting some of the memories come to the forefront. She watched his face as it twisted with the pain he felt from her, she closed her eyes and imagined a her pain only surrounding her she put up a wall between them to keep her emotions to herself. Jasper had done nothing to deserve to feel her pain.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, it had worked a little but not good enough, her pain was still leaking through. She once again closed her eyes and concentrated instead of putting up a wall she pushed her emotions as deep as she could if she couldn't feel them then neither could he. Back in her zombie state, her arms dropped in her lap, she opened her eyes and began to speak. Her voice, void of any emotions, was a blank monotone. Her head bowed as she looked in her lap. "After everyone left, I didn't do so well, the Doctors said I was catatonic and would need to be hospitalized. Charlie called Renee and she flew up here that night. The next day they started packing up my stuff, finally things they were saying started sinking in, they were sending me away. I refused to leave. I screamed, I cried, I threw a fit. They thought that it was a break through I was on the mend, Renee went back to Florida and I stayed with Charlie. I went to school, got a job to fill up the empty hours, when I wasn't in school or at work I cleaned and cooked. I barely slept, sleep wasn't my friend, the dreams that kept recurring had me screaming in my sleep, till Charlie would come in and wake me. Finally in January he had enough, he was going to have me committed, he said I was nothing but a shell a walking zombie and he didn't know how to help me.

"I asked for one more chance, I made plans, going to the movies and shopping with Jessica, hanging out at La Push on the weekends when Charlie went fishing, learned how to act alive. The first time I saw her Jessica and I had gone to the movies, when we left the theater I saw a flash of orange red hair, at first I pushed it aside as over imagination. But then on the drive home, the car slid off the road and hit a tree, Jessica was unconscious, my door swung open and she was there staring at me. She told me that just killing me would be too easy, if she had to live with her pain, I would have to live with mine. She hit the windshield causing it to shatter and used her finger nail to reopen the gash in my arm. Just as she was about to leave the wind blew and the moonlight hit my hand making the scar on my wrist a little more pronounced. She grabbed my hand and looked at the bite mark. I told her James bit me in Phoenix. She cocked her head to the side. I knew what she was trying to figure out so I told her, the venom was sucked out. She disappeared and moments later a car drove by. I let the world go black. I woke up in the hospital, only a few scrapes and bruises and a slight concussion for Jessica and other then the gash in my arm I was fine. We had to stay overnight but were released the next morning. That was the beginning. After that I would see her often, she never came close but she made sure I had seen her."

The zombie state didn't last long enough, traitor tears fell from her eyes, she didn't look at Jasper she was afraid of what his face would show, as much as she tried to keep her pain to herself she knew she failed. She took a swig from the bottle followed by a drink of her soda and then grabbed a cigarette and lit up. She chanced a glance at him and wished she never had as his face was blank there was nothing there for her to read, "there's more of course but I just can't, not right now, please just give me some time I'll tell you the rest. I just ... I can't..." Jasper shook his head slightly pulling himself out of his rage, right now he needed to focus. He grabbed the bottle of vodka and handed it to her, he knew she needed a swig. "Here Bella, take a drink it's ok darlin just breathe, you did good." She took the bottle and took a swig then chased it with her soda. Taking a deep shuddering breath trying to calm herself. Jasper pulled her into his arms giving her comfort wrapping her in calm.

After a few minutes he pulled back and looked at her. "I'm sorry darlin, I'm not used to being around humans, I should have had you go up and change out of your wet clothes first. You should go on and take a shower and get some dry clothes on. Get yourself warmed up before you get sick. I promise I'll still be here. I'm not going nowhere." Bella nodded as she realized she was a little cold. Luckily the alcohol had kept her warm enough to stave off the shivers. As she went to get up she realized she had been sitting for awhile her legs tingled as she stood, holding on to the table to make sure they would hold her up. "Alright Jasper I'll be down in a few, you're probably right I need to get out of these wet clothes before I catch pneumonia again." Once she knew her legs could hold her she stepped away and headed to the stairs going up to the bedroom she had commandeered as her own for now. She rummaged through her back pack that held her clothes and grabbed out her jeans and underclothes then went into the closet and headed to the back where the long sleeved t-shirts were hung as well as a few hoodies, grabbed a white long sleeved shirt and a black hoodie she made her way to the connecting bath and grabbed a towel she started the shower letting the hot water run for a few minutes to heat up she removed her wet clothes then adjusted the temperature of the water before stepping into the shower stall. She stood there letting the hot water cascade over her body before she grabbed her favorite shampoo and began to wash her hair. Once she was clean and warm she stepped out and got dressed.

Once she was toweled off and dressed she quickly ran a brush through her hair and then put it up in a messy bun before heading back downstairs. As she descended the stairs she noticed the living room was cleaned up the debris from the piano all cleaned up and the love seat and chairs arranged with the coffee table. Jasper was standing there admiring his handy work, as she hit the landing, her hands twisting together as she shuffled her feet. "Sorry about the mess, I uh didn't mean to destroy the living room." Jasper chuckled as he turned around facing her. "It's not a problem, Bella, I think I understand why you did it. Just trying to figure out how you did it." A slight blush touched her cheeks, it had been a very long time since she had felt the warmth in her face caused by her blush. "I uh found a uh sledgehammer in the garage. It's um currently embedded in the wall in His room." Jasper chuckled again, "well that is one room I'm not cleaning that will be left all for Him." Bella smiled up at Jasper, he looked her over and quirked his brow. "Though I'm starting to wonder if I should worry about myself in your presence? I'm going to hope that you aren't targeting me, but honestly as a betting man I am beginning to wonder." She arched her brow at him confusion swirled around her. "Well Bella first you took my truck, then if I'm correct that is mine and Alice's room you're staying in, and if that isn't enough you are wearing my clothes." He arched his brow at her waiting for her to deny it or explain it. She smirked at him at walked around him sitting in one of the arm chairs before she began to speak."Well Jasper, first off, if you recall; I borrowed the truck, I didn't steal it. And like I said it was the least ostentatious of the vehicles left in the garage as well as the tinted windows hiding my identity. After all I'm supposed to be in Phoenix. Now as far as the room goes I had two options and when I thought it through well really there was only one and I took it. I had the choice of two rooms that wouldn't hurt as bad still hurts yes but not as thoroughly as the others. I could have used Rosalie and Emmett's room or yours and Alice's and yes I thought about the first one, but one thought kept me from entering that space and that was and is the thought of what Rosalie will do to me when she finds out I invaded her space. So that only left one room yours and Alice's Now as far as the clothes go they were the only thing in the closet that was long sleeved and kept me covered. So no I'm not targeting you at all Jasper, your stuff just seems to suit my needs." She gave him a wink and a smirk and rested her head back on the chair.

"Well when you put it that way it does make sense, and I'm glad my things suit your needs." He paused his head tilted as he listened for a moment. "Now then if you will please go into the kitchen and keep quiet so as not to expose yourself to anyone, there's someone coming up the drive, don't worry I just ordered you some food. Tomorrow you and I will go to Olympia and get what we need to stock the kitchen." Bella looked up at him and nodded as she stood and made her way into the kitchen. She made her way into the pantry bypassing the soda she grabbed a bottle of water. Trying to not make any noise she waited there for the all clear. She didn't want to chance tripping over her own feet and falling on her face; that would be her luck after all. Of course it would take longer then necessary no doubt whoever delivered would get all chatty about one of the Cullen's being back in Forks. Small town gossip spreads like wild fire. Finally she heard Jasper call out her name and she made her way out of the kitchen and into the dining room, which the table had already had the pizza placed in front of the chair she had sat in earlier. She took the seat setting her water bottle next to the pizza, a small pepperoni with a small order of bread sticks sitting next to it. She grabbed a bread stick and began to eat, Jasper unlike the others found something to do and occupy his attention so it didn't seem as though he were sitting there watching her. After she finished the bread stick she opened her bottled water and took a swig before grabbing a slice of the pizza. Once she had finished the slice she drank her water then took the pizza and bread sticks into the kitchen and putting it all away in the fridge. Now that she had food on her stomach and the alcohol had lost it's effect she went to the cupboard and grabbed the bottle as well as a soda then mixed herself a drink before putting the bottle back in the cupboard she took a large drink, fallowed by a swallow of her mixed drink. Then carefully carrying the drink she made her way out of the kitchen and through the dining room noticing Jasper was standing in the living room staring out the window; she took a seat on the couch pulling her feet up and under her she took a drink from her glass, then stared at Jasper's back. She knew she needed to finish telling him everything and it would be better to get it all out and done with like ripping off a band aid. The longer she waited the harder it was going to be and if he was going to stick around he needed to know what to expect.

"It wasn't till after I left Charlie's and moved in here that she began to really torture me. I've had a few broken ribs, I think she broke my arm at one point, it's doing better now. I rummaged through Carlisle's office and found medical supplies to fix most of the cuts she gave me, I found an arm brace and used that on my arm. I didn't go to the hospital so I'm not sure how bad it was. Her latest form of torture is biting me and then sucking out the venom, I now have more scars then I care to admit." Bella took another drink and looked down into her lap trying to gather the strength to go on. "I'm sorry if I'm kinda all over the place but my days and months have just ran together it's hard to tell the chronological order of things. At one point I went to the meadow He took me to, Laurent found me there he was supposed to aid in my torture but he said he just didn't have the stomach for it, instead he would just drain me, he promised to make it quick, I smelled so good to him and he was thirsty; as he went to lunge at me, something caught his attention and he turned and ran off a moment later five large wolves came out of the woods and chased him. I recognized one of them immediately, as soon as I looked into his eyes I knew it was my friend Jacob. I know all about the Quileutes and the treaty, it's how I found out what you all were. At the time I was told, Jacob was not one of the pack and didn't know that it was more then just old tribal stories, legends passed down from generations. He didn't know there was truth in any of the stories he told me or that by telling me would be breaking the treaty. But the Quileutes are like family to me and I must protect them just as I must protect Charlie. I'm the one who involved myself in mystical creatures and now have a target on my head. So I live here away from them letting Victoria torture me or waiting for Laurent to come drain me." She looked up at Jasper to see he had taken a seat on the love seat across from her leaning forward his face filled with pain.

Bella, I'm so sorry Bella. It's all my fault, and I'm so sorry. I'd give anything to make it right." He sat there staring at her intently, watching her as she downed the rest of her drink. She stood and headed to the kitchen grabbing her smokes and the ashtray along with a lighter. She made her way back in seeing he was stone still in the same position she left him in. She placed the ashtray down on the coffee table and lit up a cigarette, watching him the whole time. "What the hell Jasper!" He didn't move or make any acknowledgement to the fact that she had spoken. She shook her head then felt the anger rise in her and then threw it at him as she yelled at him, "Jasper Hale! What the absolute fuck are you talking about. How is this your fault?" His head whipped up at her, "Bella, I attacked you. I set this all in motion, me, my weakness. If I had been stronger; strong enough to hold back we would all still be here. He wouldn't have left you. It's my fault Bella, please, please forgive me." She looked him in the eye and shook her head. "Jasper Hale! You need to understand something right now. You are NOT weak. There is nothing to forgive. Yes you attacked me, but that is very understandable for two reasons. Firstly, what are you? You're a vampire, of course the smell of my blood is going to get to you. It's only natural. I never blamed you, not ever, not even while it was happening. I knew as soon as I saw the blood it was inevitable." She saw his pained face contort even more as his whole body stiffened. "Let me finish, Jasper! I said two reasons that was only the first. Secondly, what are you Jasper? You're an empath, think about it Jasper. You weren't just feeling your blood lust but Edward's as well, he has tasted my blood which makes it even stronger so of course as soon as a drop of blood appeared you had yours and his to contend with and then he threw me in to a glass table covered in glass plates and when I looked up there were six pairs of dark eyes looking back at me. You had to deal with all of theirs as well as yours. So yes it was inevitable that you would attack but at the same time you struggled against Emmett you also struggled against yourself. I have no doubt in my mind what so ever that if you truly wanted to drain me not one person in that room not even Alice would have been able to stop you. You warred against yourself at the same time. So again I reiterate there is nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong." She stared him down daring him to contradict her. He had known she was perceptive but to see all that in the moment of the crises, damn she was good. But he had had enough of the heavy conversation and just wanted to see her smile again so he kept it light. "That may be, but lets not test the theory, no bleeding allowed." He chuckled. And for the first time she flushed as she flashed him a small smile. Though part of it could be due to the alcohol, he was hoping more for her coming back to herself just a bit. She was very beautiful even though he knew she didn't see it. She had an inner beauty that radiated out.

"Thank you Bella, not just for your words but the honesty and sincerity behind them. But why do you feel guilty, and what's with the negative emotions?" She took a deep breath, "The guilt is easy Jasper, it's my fault, I'm the one who got a paper cut in the midst of vampires, me, the danger magnet. My fault." Jasper was by her side instantly, tilting her head to look into her eyes. "No Bella, that was an accident. Nothing more, therefore not your fault. Now explain the negative emotions coming off of you. I don't quite understand why you feel that way." Bella looked at Jasper, the one thing she really didn't want to talk about is of course what he wants her to go into. The whole reason behind the catatonic state the reason why she fell apart so fully. It wasn't just Edward leaving it was all of them and the fact that she had been nothing more then a mere distraction to them all. Those who called her family, a family she had finally had and felt like she belonged. She had, had siblings and a mother who cared for her and a father who looked out for her well being; or at least that was what she had believed and she had been so wrong. The tears began to fall she couldn't stop them she didn't even bother to try, she just let them fall coursing down her sunken looked at her and felt her emotions go into chaos swirling around her and taking him with her he felt his own eyes prick with tears that would never fall, as his eyes blinked rapidly at the stinging pain of the venom welled in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her flitting over to the love seat he placed her in his lap and held her as she cried. They sat that way for a while before she finally was able to shake her self from her downward spiral. She brushed the tears from her eyes, as she came back to herself and became aware of her surroundings. Realizing she had wrapped her arms around him and cried on his shoulder, she began to untangle herself from him attempting to put distance between the two of them, knowing it must be hard for him to be so close to hear when he wasn't use to being in close proximity with humans. He pulled her closer to him, "You're fine darlin, it's not even an issue at the moment. I promise I won't hurt you, I have caused you so much pain already. I couldn't stand to harm you further." Bella sighed deeply, warning coloring her tone as she simply said, "Jasper." She looked him in the eye and arched a brow daring him to continue his line of thought and self blame. He ducked his head. "My apologies Ma'am, but you do realize even though you say there is nothing to forgive I myself have a different notion on that topic." She shook her head and slapped his chest, hurting her hand more than him. Surprised by her action he raised his head and looked her in the eye. "Well then, Jasper, I suggest you change your notion on that there topic." He arched a brow at her as she copied his accent perfectly, she gave him a small smirk.

"Now to address what you wanted to know, and the reason for my breakdown. I will tell you, I promise, just not tonight. I am drained and I am going to go up and go to bed. We will talk more tomorrow, if you are still here that is." She looked down in her lap, he reached up putting a finger under her chin tilting her chin up forcing her to look at him. "I'm not going anywhere and I'll hold you to your promise, and don't forget we have to go shopping tomorrow and a few other things we will have to address. He helped her up off his lap and released her. "Goodnight Bella, I'll see you in the morning." She gave him a nod and headed up the stairs. Once she got into the room she pulled out her sweats and a tank top and headed into the bathroom to do her nightly routine once she had changed into her bed clothes and had brushed out her hair, she headed back to the bedroom and curled up in the middle of the bed wrapping the comforter around her small frame, hoping to drift into a dreamless sleep she closed her eyes. The events of the day had been both mentally and emotionally draining and she was exhausted. It didn't take long before she succumbed to sleep. Her hopes of a dreamless sleep were dashed when the dreams began to replay for her yet again. It started with Edward leading her deep in the woods and ripping out her heart and crushing her soul, then leaving her there in the woods, the place he said was wrought with dangers worse then him. Then the dream changed Edward was gone and now Laurent was hovering above her, preparing to lunge, then the wolves surrounded her, and finally Victoria appeared biting her over and over. Then finally darkness, but the darkness was worse, the darkness was the absence of the family that said they cared and then left her to fend for herself in a world of creatures she had no chance of fighting or surviving. Like most nights she began to scream, loud piercing screams tore through her throat.

Jasper had been in his study working through all that he had learned and reading one of his favorite civil war books, when he heard her screams, he was up and in her room in less then a second but as the moonlight hit her bared skin, he stopped in his tracks as his eyes took in her scars. Healed cuts and bite marks covered her slender arms. She had kicked off the comforter in her sleep and her tank top had risen exposing a part of her stomach, he saw what looked like claw marks marring her porcelain skin. The scars did not distract from her beauty instead they added a strength to it. She was so much stronger then she realized and so beautiful, with her dark mahogany hair surrounding her face, her lips full as her mouth made a small oh, then another scream tore from her and he was instantly next to her pulling her close; wrapping his arms around her. He rocked her gently while making quiet shushing sounds. "Bella," he crooned softly, "You're ok Darlin, I'm right here. You're ok, you're safe. I promise you no harm will come to you." He continued to rock her while sending out calm and lethargy pulling her down into a deeper dreamless calming and healing sleep. He held her the rest of the night keeping her in a dreamless state of much needed rest. He now understood the dark circles under her eyes, if this is what her sleep had consisted of, night terrors that had her screaming in the night, it was a wonder she was able to function at all. He knew what he would have to do in the morning and he knew she was not going to like it and would argue against it. But the fact was, she needed a doctor and the only one that would understand where her scars came from would be Carlisle. He wasn't sure how she would react to him telling her he would need to call the family. The night of her party him and Alice had gone to Alaska, he was so ashamed of himself. He loved her, but yet he had tried to bite and drain her. How could he do something like that to someone he cared about, he had told her at one time she was worth them fighting for her, and he still felt that way. He had heard that after the "attack" she had told Edward that she couldn't be around them anymore, she wasn't able to deal with the possibility of dying on any given day. She was hurting too many by being around vampires. She was causing Jasper pain by being in their lives; as much as she loved them it was just to difficult to continue on the way they were. So she wanted to continue her human life, therefore she asked that they leave. That was the story he was told, but he never actually saw Edward so had no idea if the story was true or not. The ones who told him felt no deception so they thought it was true. Carlisle and Alice being the two that had told him. Alice had not seen anything as it was not a thought out decision. It was a moments thought put into words. And Jasper knew if Bella didn't want Alice to see she knew how to work around Alice's gift. Just like his gift only worked to an extent. She was able to shove it away if it was unwanted, She proved that in Phoenix, but she was also able to block him when she so chose to. He knew she was selfless and would no doubt cause herself pain in order to save someone else from pain. But the more he thought about what she had said today and how she had acted, he started to seriously doubt the story he was told. He wanted to know what actually happened after her birthday. What had he actually caused. His thoughts circled in his head the rest of the night as he held her sleeping in his arms. Keeping her in a deep sleep and calm the rest of the night and in to mid morning. At around ten am he started to slowly pull back the lethargy, till his manipulation was completely gone, then he waited for her to wake on her own.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyers as well as the Twilight world, I just like to make them dance occasionally. In this chapter there may be quotes from the book they will be put in ~~~ marks~~~ I hope you all enjoy this fanfic. This is my first posted story. I will do my best to keep the story going and my plan is to update every 2 weeks. I have no beta, all errors are my own.

Chapter 2

Slowly she began to wake, she froze as she felt the two arms holding her and a hard chest against her. Her mind raced as it began to be more aware and the memories of the day before flooded her mind. She relaxed as she realized it was Jasper, he had came back, and for some reason he was holding her. Feeling her awaken his arms loosened around her letting her move around and stretch. Then her mind fully awoke and she remembered what she wore to bed, she knew quite a few of her scars were clearly visible with the tank top. She stiffened in his arms as her negative emotions came to the surface and swirled around her. She had never been vain or cared much about appearances, but she also knew that some of her scars were horribly disfiguring, she could feel part of her stomach was exposed and she quickly reached up to pull her top down, to cover the ragged claw marks etched in her skin. She was afraid to open her eyes, to see the look of disgust cover his features. He called to her softly, "Bella, Bella, look at me darlin." She opened her eyes and looked up at his face, the only thing clouding his features was a deep concern, that left her feeling very confused. The confusion was soon replaced with embarrassment, as she realized she had bed head and morning breath and still in the arms of a vampire with very advanced senses. She scrambled up off the bed and stood at the foot of the bed. "I uh need a human moment." Jasper nodded though a hint of a smile played at the corner of his lips. "I'll be downstairs Bella." With that he turned and left the room, giving her her much needed privacy. She took a deep breath and went to find clothes for the day before heading in to the bathroom to take a shower and tend to her human necessities. Once she showered and dressed and brushed her hair, she threw her hair up in a messy pony tail, then headed downstairs going straight to the kitchen she busied herself by making a pot of much needed coffee. At the same time she was stalling, purposely avoiding Jasper her embarrassment still very clear in her emotions. Jasper let her have her space, giving her time to get her emotions and thoughts under control. Once the coffee was brewing, she rummaged through the cupboards and the pantry looking to see if there was anything edible left in the house. She could have sworn there was an open box of breakfast bars somewhere in here she didn't remember eating them all but maybe she had. She shrugged to herself and went and grabbed a mug and headed to the coffee pot that had just finished. She poured herself a cup of coffee, then stood there staring at nothing as she sipped her coffee. Letting the hot steaming brew calm her emotions, and settle her thoughts. She knew Jasper was waiting, she had promised to finish what needed to be said, and she knew there were things he was going to want, like she knew he wanted to call Carlisle and have him come check on her being the only doctor she could actually see right now that wouldn't ask unneeded questions, or worse put her away for self harming. She stood and slowly drank her coffee, once she took the last swig she refilled the cup, turning she took a deep breath and headed to the living room where she knew Jasper was waiting.

She took a seat in the chair, curling her feet up underneath her as she held her coffee cup taking small sips, letting the hot liquid warm her insides as she waited for Jasper to say something. He turned and looked at her watching her closely, he wasn't sure exactly how she would react to what he wanted to tell her. "Bella, I think it's necessary to call Carlisle. He needs to look you over, you have some injuries that need to be taken care of by a professional. And I'm sure you understand that going to just any doctor will raise unwanted questions." He paused for a moment, noticing she wasn't surprised by his words. She nodded at him and waited for him to continue. "I can make sure it is only Carlisle that comes, but the others may want to come see you as well, and I may need their help, I will need someone else here to watch out for you while I hunt. I don't want to leave you alone, and give Victoria a chance to get to you. The next time she comes back she's going to know I am here and I don't know how exactly she will react to that. I don't want you in any more danger than you've already been in. What I need to know is who you are willing to have here and who you want to be kept away." He watched her as she mulled over what he just said. A part of her knew Emmett would want to be here, she couldn't blame him for not being able to stay and protect her or for trying to say goodbye. Rosalie would have made sure of that, Rosalie was never a big fan of hers. It hurt a lot that Emmett left but she understood he was stuck, he had to fallow his mate, it would have hurt him worse to go against his mate. Honestly she didn't think any of the others would want to come back. They had all left her, they got bored playing with the human and left her on her own in a world she didn't belong, to be stalked and tortured by a vengeful vampire. Why would they want to come back, why would they care? Why does Jasper care? Her grip on her coffee cup tightened as her hands began to shake and she struggled to breath, her thoughts going a round in circles, her vision blurred, as she goes into a panic attack. Jasper was in front of her in a fraction of a second, taking the coffee cup from her hand and putting it down, he grabbed her hands holding them gently as he softly called out to her, trying to get her to focus on him; he blew softly into her face as he tried to calm her with his ability, quietly calling her name. As she slowly started to come out of the panic, he lifted her carefully and sat with her in his lap holding her and rocking her trying to get her calm, crooning softly to her. Gradually she began to calm, Jasper sat there holding her waiting for her to come back from her panic attack, giving her the time she needed to get control over herself. Finally she was back in control though feeling emotionally exhausted, she drew in a deep breath then let it out slowly, as she centered herself. Once she was in control and put herself on guard forcing herself to be strong she looked up at Jasper. "Don't make them do anything they don't want to. If Carlisle wishes to stay away it's okay, I have been doing fine treating my own injuries. I've survived this long, Jasper, I'll be fine while you hunt. There's no need to make every one uncomfortable, I understand when the desire for the pet is over and you realize it's more work than it's worth, it just becomes a tedious obligation. You don't have to stay if you don't want to, I'm sure there are plenty of other places you could go and not have to worry about taking care of the forgotten pet."

A low growl rumbled in his chest, as he tried to remember to be careful with the fragile human that he held in his arms. He sat statue still as he tried to calm himself in order to hear exactly why those words would ever come out of her mouth or why she would ever think those thoughts. He was utterly confused. He took a deep unneeded breath to help calm and center himself. He managed to growl out one word. "Why?" She didn't quite understand the question, at least not coming from him, she understood that word but only from her end. She waited as he calmed himself and knowing he needed to calm down she centered herself and focused surrounding herself in calm while blocking out all her other emotions she threw the calm towards him in order to assist him. He blinked in surprise as he quickly fed from her calming emotions. With her help he calmed down enough to get out the questions he so needed answers to. "Why would you think of yourself as nothing more then a pet? How could that ever enter your mind?" He patiently waited as he felt her trying to get herself together to answer him. She pulled herself from him and stood, he released her letting her go. She got up and began pacing trying to keep moving and hoping the hole in her chest didn't tear her a part. She worked on numbing herself blocking out all emotions, trying hard to go back to the zombie state, not wanting to cause Jasper this kind of pain. She looked up at him trying to judge whether or not her trick was working. He looked taken aback as her emotions cut off and he felt nothing from her.. She gave a nod of approval to herself, now the hard part is to stay like this while telling him what He had told her and how things had transpired. She knew this was coming, she knew she would have to put this into words, she was just really hoping to put it off as long as possible. Her pain was hers, and not anything that should be put on another person, especially Jasper, he didn't deserve to feel this pain. He had to deal with so much as it is with being an empath in a world where hate and pain were all around.. She could tell he was starting to grow impatient, he wanted answers and he wanted them now; but he was going to have to wait till she knew she could do this while keeping her pain to herself. She would not share this with him as long as she had a say in the matter. She continued to pace though now it wasn't a conscious thought it was just her body keeping the motion that had already been started.

Her voice was empty, void of any emotion as she began her story, "After my birthday, He became very distant and I knew something bad was coming I just didn't realize how bad. I didn't think in my worst nightmares what my future held. It was the third day after my birthday, that he met me at Charlie's after school. He asked me to take a walk with him, we walked a short way into the woods, ~~~ We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail-I could still see the house.~~~ He told me... he told me he didn't want me, you all were moving on because it was time. You can't stay in the same place for too long. You don't age, people were beginning to ask questions." She breathed in and out trying her best to keep all her emotions bottled in herself. She pictured in her mind a bubble surrounding her keeping all her emotions, thoughts, everything to herself. She wanted to look up to see if it was working but afraid it would make her lose her concentration, she kept pacing while staring at the floor. "He said he was tired of playing human, it was fun while it lasted but I wasn't good enough for him, I was just a distraction, a little toy but nothing more. Guess that explains why he never wanted to change me. I'm just not good enough. No one came to say goodbye so I guess I was just a pet, nothing more. I mean I understand, it's okay. After all when you have eternity, you have to find something to amuse yourselves. I'm honored it was me, I was glad to know all of you, privileged to have been able to love all of you." She stopped talking as she heard his low growl rising in volume. She chanced a look up at him and was astonished by the look of pure rage that covered his face. He was instantly on his feet, "Bella, I need a minute." He barely got the words out and he was gone. A moment later she heard what sounded like a sonic boom, though it seemed to have been very far away. Then the ground shook as though there was a small earth quake. She stood for a moment longer before turning and heading for the kitchen, she needed a drink and a cigarette. She grabbed what she needed then took them to the dining room table, she took a swig of alcohol then grabbed out a cigarette and lit it up; she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. She took another swig from the bottle and smoked her cigarette, as she waited for Jasper to come back. She was sure somewhere out in the woods he was chopping trees into kindling and maybe carving a few totem poles. Maybe a few statues of bears and deer. She wasn't sure why he was so angry though. She was still so utterly confused. If they had cared then why did they leave? The question kept running in circles through her mind, as she smoked her cigarette. As she snuffed it out in the ashtray, Jasper appeared sitting in the chair across from her. The anger still evident in his face, his hands clasped together on the table, to ensure he didn't break any of Esme's furniture. Bella didn't meet his gaze only looked up briefly when he appeared in the chair across from her, she took another drink from the bottle before fishing out another cigarette; she didn't light up just toyed with it in her fingers, something to use as a focal point.

"Bella." His voice so commanding, instantly had her head up and she looked him in the eye. He looked her in the eye wanting her to understand there was no deceit he would only tell her the truth. "Bella, first I want you to understand one thing one very important thing." He locked her in his gaze as he emphasized each word, "Edward Lied." He watched her closely, monitoring her every move and expression, before he continued. "He lied Bella, that is not how we felt at all. I told you once before, I meant it then and I mean it now. You are worth it! Carlisle and Esme accepted you into this family, you are one of us. This is your home just as much as it is mine, Carlisle and Esme love you the same as they love the rest of us, you are a daughter to them just as Rosalie and Alice are. Emmett thinks of you as his little sister and has from the very beginning, nothing will change that. You were never a pet to us, Never! I am going to call Carlisle and I'm going to put it on speaker so you can hear for yourself, I know you won't believe me till you hear the concern in his voice. Yes I know, the fact we all left without so much as a good bye is pretty fucked up. But you must understand Carlisle runs his coven as a democracy everything is up to a vote and majority always wins. Carlisle and Esme felt that He would not be able to be a part from you they honestly thought he and you were mates. Mates can not separate from each other for very long and mates who have not claimed each other is even harder, the fact that you are still human if you were his mate he would not be able to leave you for long at all the fact that he's been away this long is proof he may not be your mate. We won't actually know until you are changed. I think a lot of His neglect to changing you is the fact that there is a chance you might not be his true mate. Carlisle would never have left you if he thought you would be in danger, they rely a little too much on their gifts. Alice didn't see Victoria coming after you and He didn't hear anything in her or James' thoughts that would make them think that so they honestly thought they were only companions not mates. Emmett and I were the only two who fought to stay, I fought because I knew you would be in danger, Emmett well he didn't want to leave his little sister." Bella sat there staring at him openly mouth gaping. It was the most he had ever spoken. She never really got a chance to know Jasper, but she did know that if he spoke, you listened. What he did have to say was important and needed to be heard. She knew he spoke the truth but even so a part of her didn't fully believe him and she knew he felt her disbelief. He raised an eyebrow at her questioning her disbelief silently. She shook her head, she wasn't calling him a liar just that she didn't quite believe they cared that much. He nodded his understanding then pulled his phone out and dialed a number, he hit speaker and placed it on the table. She heard it connect then ring once, before Carlisle's smooth voice was on the line. "Jasper, I'm on my way. Alice saw you were going to call, she couldn't make out everything she said the vision was blurry, from what she could tell you needed me to come back to Forks. She couldn't see why. Is it Bella, Is she alright? His voice was strained with worry and concern. Bella was able to hear it in his voice perfectly. Jasper gave her a smirk before responding. "She's here and I think she's okay but she does need a doctor but due to some of her injuries, I can't just take her to any doctor with out raising unwanted questions. Is anyone coming with you?" Bella could hear the hum of the engine in the background and as Jasper spoke she could hear it wind up more as if he pushed the gas and floored it. "No, no one is with me. I told them I would call them after I got there and assessed the situation. I should be there in a couple of hours. I have my medical bag with me and a few other supplies. Like I said we weren't sure exactly what was going on so I tried to be prepared for anything." Jasper nodded as he replied. " Alright Carlisle, thank you and we'll see you soon." With that Jasper hit the end button on the phone and looked up at Bella. "Now do you believe me?" Bella looked up and nodded slightly though her emotions gave her away. She still wasn't absolutely sure. But after the way she felt that she was abandoned like a used toy, he couldn't say he didn't blame her for it.

She put the cigarette she had been toying with in her mouth and lit up. She took a few drags then grabbed the bottle and took a swig. She needed to calm down, her anxiety was rising knowing that another Cullen was on the way and soon after the rest may be back. She had to hold herself together, she wouldn't allow herself to fall apart again. She took another swig and when she put the bottle down it disappeared along with Jasper. All she managed out was "Wha..." before he was back in his chair across from her. "I may not mind you drinking, but I think Carlisle may have different ideas on the matter, so for now we will put it away. And don't be surprised if he lectures you on the smoking." She looked up at him and nodded, he had a point. She finished her cigarette and snuffed it out in the ashtray. Her emotions were all over the place, Jasper eyed her carefully, he could feel her battling her anxiety. In an instant he was next to her his arms around her holding her close he pushed out the calm around the room letting her use it if she wanted. He had realized she could block him when she wanted to and it made her angry when he forced it at her, he also learned that she could block him from feeling her, not entirely but enough that it was hard to discern what she was feeling. She was a strong little human and if she could do this he wondered if maybe she was the reason why Alice's vision had been fuzzy and not clear. Could Bella block out Alice as well? If she could do this now, how would she be as a vampire? Would she still want to be changed? She couldn't stay human and he knew the family couldn't kill her; hell he couldn't kill her, he cared about her too much. She had etched a place in all their hearts, even Rosalie's, though he knew Bella would never believe that. He held her as she worked through her anxiety and fear. He pulled back and sat in the chair next to her as he felt her calm down. He looked over at her, "You're doin fine darlin. You're okay, I'm right here and I'm not goin anywhere. I told you I won't leave you, and I meant it. I won't never lie to you." Bella looked up at him apologetically, "Sorry Jasper I just got a little over whelmed with knowing that soon they will all be here. I miss them, all of them, but at the same time; I guess I'm just worried, afraid to be left alone again. I had my heart ripped out once, I don't want to go through that again. I ... I don't think I'll survive it again." her voice a low whisper held all her emotions, what he couldn't feel from her, he heard loud and clear. "Bella, I told you if you don't want the rest here yet then we won't push it. I need Carlisle here to make sure you're okay, but the others can wait till you are ready and not before." He sent her his sincerity and honesty. He had told her he would never lie to her but she had been lied to so much by Edward, he knew it would be a while before she could fully trust anyone. She nodded her understanding before standing. "So Carlisle will be here in a few hours, um does that give us time to clean up and air out the place a little bit?" A strong feeling of realization hit her before her embarrassment and guilt set in. Jasper looked at her quizzically, trying to figure out what she was thinking to make her feel that. "What Bella? What are you thinking?" "Vampires, enhanced senses, oh my god this place probably smells horrible from cigarette smoke and the alcohol. I'm so sorry." Jasper chuckled, "It's not that bad but yes I smell it clearly, we can air it out a bit it will help but it won't get rid of all of it. It doesn't smell that bad to me, but I'm not Carlisle, I occasionally like to have a cigarette and don't mind a drink once in a while. I can't get drunk off of it but it's nice to have a shot of whiskey now and again. It doesn't taste bad like human food and our bodies can absorb it so we don't have to puke it up like everything else. You go ahead and clean up down here I'll help and open all the windows and doors to air it out." He stood and headed towards the living room as Bella cleared off the table of the cigarettes and ashtray taking them to the kitchen. She washed the ashtray and grabbed it along with her pack of cigarettes and the lighter and took them upstairs to the room she was staying in, but then stopped at the door pausing a moment.

"Jasper." She hadn't even finished saying his name when he appeared next to her. She turned and looked at him, "I'm going to expect them all to come back at some point, and you should have your room back, but .. uh... I ..." she huffed and then rushed on with it speaking as quickly as possible, "I won't stay in his room, I don't want to keep you out of yours, so where should I go?" Jasper quirked a small smile at her understanding what she was trying to get out. "It's alright darlin, here fallow me, and just so you know this is more Alice's room then mine. Here next to hers is my study, and next to that." He paused as he opened the third door down. "This is a guest room and when Esme gets here if we stay here for a bit she will decorate it for you to meet your tastes." Bella peered in the room, it was very spacious like all the other rooms in the house, it also had it's own bathroom and a walk in closet. There was a nice Queen sized bed in the middle of the room that had steps going up to it,which she would need to get into it. It was a bed fit for a queen or a princess. Four poster bed frame that raised the bed a good two feet off the floor then take in the box spring and mattress, if it hadn't had steps she would have needed a step stool. The bedding was a beautiful cream with swirls of deep red, and forest green, the silk drapes the wrapped around the wooden posts were a see through forest green to bring out the green in the comforter, the three decorative pillows on the bed matched the deep red. The windows had cream colored drapes and the carpet was a creamed coffee color. The room was just breath taking as it was. She hoped Esme wouldn't change too much she loved it. She didn't really investigate the other rooms, she felt as though she were imposing as it was, going through rooms just made her feel like she was snooping. Her mouth had formed an oh as she took it all in. Jasper watched her as she admired the room, the looks of appreciation and amazement on her face held him captive. She looked over at him, "It's perfect, I'll start moving in right away." Her excitement was infectious and he was grinning like a fool till, true to Bella form, her emotions went from high to low. His smile faded as he watched her, trying to figure out what was going through her head.

"It shouldn't take me that long I don't have much." She turned and headed to Alice's room he fallowed behind her watching her trying to figure out what caused her sudden mood swing. He watched as she grabbed a worn out back pack and a small duffel bag, she went into the closet and one of the shelves she grabbed her clothes that she had put in there and shoved them into the duffel bag, as she headed to the bathroom to grab her toiletries he realized her problem. With him here and her moving out of the room she couldn't steel his shirts and he could see how little clothing she actually had. He used his speed and went into the closet grabbing a half a dozen of his long sleeve shirts he knew she liked as well as four pairs of his sweat pants and shoved them in with her clothes then went back into the same position he had been in as she exited the bathroom she threw the bathroom toiletries into the back pack and before she could, Jasper came up beside her and grabbed up both bags giving her a smirk he turned and headed out of the room. She shook her head as she fallowed him. Once inside her room he placed the bags on the floor, then turned, "Was that everything?" She nodded to him. "Well I'm going to go back to finishing airing out the house. I'll leave you to put your things away and get comfortable in your room." As he turned and left he heard her quiet "Thank you Jasper."

She sent out her feelings of appreciation hoping he would feel it she saw what was put on top of her clothes. She unpacked the bag and put the clothes in the closet than put her toiletries in the bathroom, then she put the bags in the closet on the floor. She picked up the discarded ashtray and pack of cigarettes and put them in one of the nightstands by the bed. Once she was done she headed back downstairs to finish cleaning up the kitchen and grab herself a bottle of water. When she got to the kitchen she realized where she had the bottles of alcohol, she went over to the cupboard and grabbed them both and took them upstairs to her room. After stashing them in her closet she retraced her steps back down to the kitchen. She began cleaning the counters and the stove and then moved to begin cleaning the floors. She turned from the sink and went over by the pantry getting down on her hands and knees to scrub the floor when she was interrupted. 'Bella, just what the hell are you doing?" She jumped in surprise, she hadn't heard him, but of course why would she damned vampires. "Um.. I'm cleaning Jasper. What does it look like I'm doing? This is what you call scrubbing the floors." "I know that much Bella, but why are you scrubbing clean floors, and cleaning a clean kitchen? It's not dirty in here so why are you cleaning it?" He walked over to her looking down at her with a very confused look on his face. "Well Jasper I thought that maybe the smell of the bleach would help distract from the other scents in the room, possibly cover the smell of the alcohol, but that may just be wishful thinking." His eyebrows shot up as he realized how she was trying to help mask the scents of her bad habits. "Well in that case allow me, I'll get this floor and grab a bucket from the mud room and while I do this in here you can do the dining room. With both of us working we'll get it done a lot faster. It'll help mask the scent a little and maybe with the bleach and airing out the house he won't notice it too much it'll help. I can also vacuum the living room with the stuff Esme uses, it makes it smell like lilacs." Bella nodded and smiled. Instead of him trying to do it for her because he's faster and better he was going to work with her. The whole thing of more hands makes the work go quicker. She liked how he didn't make her feel inadequate, or belittle her slow human pace. As she watched him she realized he wasn't even using vampire speed he was going at human pace to help get the first floor of the house cleaned. He got her the bucket of soapy water and she went to the dining room and began to clean the floor while he worked on the kitchen floor, she began humming as she worked, something she had a habit of doing while cleaning or cooking. Jasper listened to her content humming while they cleaned. They both finished at about the same time. He took the bucket from her and went and dumped it out and put it back in the mud room as well as the rags after he rang them out real well. He showed her how Esme would put the lilac dryer sheets in the air filter of the vacuum cleaner, Bella vacuumed while Jasper lifted the furniture so she could get underneath and get it done right. They worked together getting it all done quickly. But her two end goals were accomplished, one the house smelt fresh and clean and only bare traces of her smoking and the alcohol could be detected, and two it helped pass the time so she wasn't sitting and worrying about Carlisle being there soon. The few hours had passed quickly with the house work, and now her nervousness kicked in as he would be there soon, Jasper had been listening for the car to pull on to the driveway. When he heard it he nodded toward Bella, then quickly regretted giving her a heads up, from her emotions he worried she would try to bolt out the door and run. Feeling her nerves and anxiety he pushed calm into the room around her so she could use it if she wanted to. She gave him a small smile as she let the calm envelope her. She stood and went to the window watching the Mercedes pull up and stop. She watched as Carlisle exited the car and started towards the house.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I'm sorry this one is late, but my computer decided it was going to delete my story. So I had to re-write chapter 3. I'm trying to get it out as soon as I can. Hopefully it will be worth the wait.

Chapter 3

Carlisle stepped inside, his eyes scanning the area, taking it all in. Jasper threw caution out towards Carlisle, followed by a gesture towards Bella, then he sent Bella's emotional cocktail of anxious nervousness, fear, guilt, and finally her emotion of unwantedness. Carlisle raised a brow and sent Jasper his concern, sadness, and understanding. Jasper gave a curt nod. Bella looked from Jasper to Carlisle and back at Jasper. "What the hell Jasper, enough with the silent convo, next thing you know you'll both be speaking in chipmunk chatter." She walked over and flounced down in the chair with a huff muttering about damned vampires under her breath. Jasper looked over at her a slight smile tugging at his lips as he tried to explain himself. " I was only cautioning Carlisle and letting him know about your emotional signature at the moment." Bella turned her head as her eyes narrowed at Jasper. "JASPER! I wish I knew your full name right now. You listen here and you listen real good; I have never nor will I ever be afraid of Carlisle, or any of you for that matter. Just because you feel what I feel doesn't mean you know why I feel that way." Bella gave Jasper a glare followed by an arched brow daring him to argue with her. She then turned to Carlisle. "Forgive the rudeness Carlisle. It's good to see you, how have you been? Did you have a nice trip?" Carlisle looked from Jasper to Bella a small sad smile playing on his lips. "I've been doing.. uh.. Well. It's good to be home and to see you too Bella. The ride wasn't too bad." Carlisle made his way over to the love seat sitting across from her. His eyes taking in her slight form and sallow cheeks.

"Bella, stop procrastinating. Carlisle was called here as your doctor. You know you have to have him look you over. You can't escape the inevitable, no matter how much you may want to." Jasper raised a brow at her, daring her to argue. Carlisle stood and went to retrieve his medical bag. Bella huffed a sigh before finally nodding her understanding. Carlisle entered with his bag in hand. "Alright Bella, lets head to my office; it may be a little easier up there." Bella nodded and stood, following Carlisle up the stairs to his office. As they stood outside the door, Bella realized exactly what she would need to do. She stood for a moment fidgeting slightly, before breathing out a resigned sigh. "Okay Carlisle, um, let me go change to make this a little easier. I'll be right back." Bella quickly made her way back into her room. She rushed to her closet, grabbing out her pajama shorts and a sports bra, knowing it would be easier for him to examine her if she had on a little less clothing. She changed her clothes, trying to keep her breathing in check and keep herself calm. Her anxiety was going up, but she was trying really hard not to take a drink before she went in. She promised herself if she could get through this she would take a couple of shots and have a cigarette, she just needed to get this done and over with first. She opened her bedroom door to head back to Carlisle office but was stopped in her tracks as Jasper was standing there. She let out a squeak in surprise, before she could identify the look on his face, it was replaced by an emotionless mask. She turned and ran back in her room shutting the door behind her she headed straight for the closet, closing the closet door behind her as well; she grabbed the bottle of vodka and managed to take a swig before it vanished from her hand. She looked up to see Jasper standing there, he put the cap back on the bottle before enfolding her in his arms. "Sh it's okay Bella. I'm right here it's okay. Don't feel like that please. It's not what you think, I'm horrified at what has been done to you, angry at all of us for leaving you alone to deal with it, and all I want to do is get my hands on that bitch and tear her limb from limb and kill her in the slowest most painful way possible. You are the strongest and bravest person I've ever known Bella, and your scars show that you fought to survive and are still here to tell the story. Those scars tell people just how strong you are, be proud of them darlin. Be proud of who you are." Bella had tears streaming down her cheeks, as she listened to his words that held so much emotion behind them, she felt his sincerity in his words. Bella took a deep breath and nodded her understanding as well as sent him her gratitude for his words, and for him just being there for her. She stood straighter and squared her shoulders. "Thank you Jasper, I guess I should go in and get this over with." Jasper walked her out of her room. "I'll be in my study Bella, just call me if you need me." She gave him a nod then made her way to Carlisle's office.

The door was opened as Carlisle waited for her. She entered the room and then closed the door quietly behind her. Carlisle looked up as she entered, a look of shock crossed his features before he schooled them and he went into full doctor mode. He stood up and went to her side examining her injuries, paying close attention to her ribs and the claw marks on her stomach as well as her left arm. When he was finished with the examination he pulled a chair in front of her and sat down. "Bella, you have multiple lacerations and contusions, all in varying stages of healing. You are emaciated, anemic, you have a few broken ribs which are healing without an x-ray I can't be sure but my best guess is your left arm was broken but it's not healing correctly it feels wrong. I may have to re-break it to set it correctly. Bella..." His voice hoarse with emotion, the sadness and concern coloring his features, and for a moment the young vampire looked old and haggard. Something Bella would have never thought possible. "I don't understand Carlisle, you left. You all left me, why … I … " The tears fell faster, as they coursed down her cheeks. Instantly Bella found herself in Carlisle's lap as he held her close. His heart broke with every sob that wracked her small frame. "I'm so sorry Bella. I believed him, I never doubted his words, I never even questioned. I'm so sorry. I was told you wanted us to go. You were causing Jasper pain and you were afraid of tearing the family apart. You didn't want to hurt us like that so it was just easier if we left. I was told you didn't want to say goodbyes as it would be much too difficult for you. We left thinking it was what you wanted. I'm so sorry I believed it without question. Please Bella, please forgive me." Bella sobbed in his arms as she heard the words he spoke and heard the heartbreak in his voice. "Just don't leave me again." Bella clung to him as he held her close. "Never again my daughter, I promise you, I'll never leave you again." He held her till her sobs calmed and finally stopped, the tears finally dried. And still he held her rubbing her back softly and soothing her as you would a small child.

A shiver coursed through her and Carlisle chuckled softly, and released his hold. "Go get changed Bella." She nodded as she stood, but before she left she turned and looked at him. "I know you need to know the story behind the injuries as well as what has happened since you left but I can't go into it right now. It's just... it's too hard for me right now. I promise I will tell you Carlisle, I just need a little bit of time to deal with things." Carlisle nodded his understanding and she turned and went to her room to change. She changed quickly, finding comfort in the sweat pants and long sleeved shirt. She went and sat on her bed for a few minutes before coming to her senses, she couldn't hide she was stronger than that. She got up and headed downstairs to the living room sitting on the love seat and looking out the window. She let her mind wander as she sat there, preparing herself for the conversation that would need to happen soon. She had gotten through it with Jasper she was sure she could get through it again, it just wouldn't be easy. She sat there for awhile just letting her mind wander, till the events of the day and the emotional rollercoaster she had been on finally won out and she drifted off to sleep.

Jasper hearing her heart rate even out and slow down knew she had fallen asleep, he went downstairs and picked her up carying her upstairs and into her room, he placed her on the bed sitting next to her. He let her sleep and only helped when her emotions started escalating showing that she was entering another nightmare, then he would add a little lethargy and calm bringing her back down into a restful healing sleep. Her dark circles had improved since he had been helping her sleep but they were still there showing she still needed more rest. She needed to heal, physically, emotionally, and mentally, and it would take time. They had plenty of time, they would help her heal and get her back to normal or as normal as she could get. He sat with her throughout the day and through the night. Around 7 am he pulled back on the lethargy feeling she had slept enough and didn't want her to oversleep. Carlisle had explained that oversleeping could be just as harmful to a human as not getting enough sleep. You can't quite catch up on sleep. It would be best if she got herself on a schedule. Jasper figured he would talk to her about it, since he was trying to help her through her nightmares. She woke up gradually stretched and yawned before finally opening her eyes. She looked towards Jasper, he gave her a small smile. "Morning Bella." She returned his smile, "Hey Jasper." He stood "I'll let you get ready for the day." She gave him a small nod and he turned and left her to her own devices. She stretched and waited to wake up a little more before attempting to get out of bed. She looked around and sighed. She loved this bed but at the same time it didn't seem beneficial for her to have a bed that had steps that led up to it. She was way too clumsy for this bed. She would have to ask if either Jasper or Carlisle could take this out and get her a more practical bed for her. When she was sure she was awake and would be stable enough she stood and made her way down the few steps. She went to the closet pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. The sun was already beating in through the window and she could feel the heat. It wasn't as hot as Arizona, but it was warm for Forks, and she thought the long sleeved shirts might be a bit much. Once she had her clothes she made her way to the bathroom to shower and take care of her human needs.

Once she was showered and dressed she headed downstairs, as she was making her way down the stairs the heavenly aroma of coffee filled her nose. She inhaled deeply and quickened her pace to the kitchen. As she went to walk thru the dining room to the kitchen she saw both Jasper and Carlisle seated at the table. "Bella, I went to Port Angeles this morning before you woke up and picked up a sausage and egg biscuit with hash browns and an orange juice." Bella saw the plate for her at the table and made her way to sit down to eat. Her stomach rumbled at the sight and smell of food. "Thank you Carlisle." She dug in enjoying the biscuit even if it had gone slightly cold. Lately food had been a rare commodity. She had used up all her money and had been trying to eat sparingly to save the food she had, but even that she had been without a real meal; other than the pizza Jasper had ordered her, for at least a week. Once she had finished the food she drank down her orange juice. She cleared her spot taking it all in the kitchen dumping the garbage and then washing her plate. She went to the cupboard and pulled out a cup and made her way to the coffee pot, pouring herself a cup. She took the first sip and savored the hot liquid. She stood next to the counter enjoying her cup of coffee, as her mind wandered and she began to try to figure out a way to keep the family she just got back safe. She knew Victoria would soon be making an appearance she couldn't put them in danger. She had secluded herself here to keep everyone safe, she didn't think they would come back. She would go out in the woods and pray that Victoria would catch her scent; hopefully she could lead her away from the family she had adopted and loved. And even if they had left it didn't mean she loved them any less, she was hurt yes, but family forgave each other and cared for each other. She had to protect them. She wasn't being careful, momentarily forgetting that there was an empath in the other room, she wasn't attempting to control her emotions.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a loud roar and Jasper crouching in front of her. Carlisle was instantly behind him. She looked at Jasper, and she knew and felt as much as it was Jasper in front of her it wasn't. It was something more powerful. He growled once long and low in his chest before standing up, raising to his full height, and squaring his shoulders. He looked into her eyes and held them prisoner for a moment before releasing her. He wasn't trying to dazzle the girl, that's not how he worked. "Isabella, ya listen up and ya listen well. You will not be trying to attempt a suicide mission to protect us. There will not be a repeat of Phoenix. Do ya understand me?" His southern accent thick as he barked his orders out. She nodded, but the scowl on his face told her he wanted an actual answer. "Ye.. Yes I understand." He gave her a curt nod. Carlisle hearing the word Phoenix was instantly reminded of the carnage that met him when he entered the ballet studio and how he had worked feverishly to save her life, never did he want to go through that again. "Bella, no. We are strong we are supposed to protect you. In this house I'm the adult you're the child it is my responsibility to protect and care for you. Not the other way around. I understand growing up you took care of everyone else, but here it is not like that. Here you will follow the rules, and rule one is you let us protect you and care for you. When it comes to your safety and wellbeing you will do as we say and let us take lead." Bella nodded her understanding at Carlisle's words. "Alright you win. Obviously I can't argue with both of you. I trust you both to keep me safe and alive. I just don't want you to get hurt." Jasper or rather his alter ego gave her a look of bewilderment with a hint of humor, "We won't. Don't underestimate us, Isabella. We may act human to fit in with humans, but that doesn't mean we have grown weak. " Bella nodded her understanding and Jasper relaxed and came back to himself as he felt her sincerity and understanding. She was going to comply with what they said and follow their rules. He gave a nod and went over to the bar stool at the island counter and took a seat. Carlisle stood and looked her over for a moment before taking a seat next to Jasper. Bella stayed where she was finishing her coffee and then pouring another cup. She took her coffee and headed upstairs to her room she could tell the two vampires were having a mixture of chipmunk chatter and silent conversation, and it always annoyed her to no end.

Once in her room she went to her bedside table and grabbed out a cigarette from her pack and grabbed her lighter shoving it in her pocket, then made her way downstairs and out the back door to a log that was at the edge of the yard. She sat down and lit up her cigarette while having her own silent conversation with herself. She had made the decision in the shower that she would talk to Carlisle today, but as she had sipped her coffee plan b had crept into her mind and she thought it best if she tried everything in her power to save the family she loves. Well plan b was a flop, so going with plan a. She smoked her cigarette as she tried to get her thoughts in order as well as get her courage up to go through with this talk. She concentrated on centering herself as she smoked, she calmed and wrapped the calm around her as best as she could. She snuffed out her cigarette on the log before heading back into the house. She went back up to her room, she knew in order to get through this conversation she was going to need a little help. She grabbed her bottle of vodka out of her closet and then grabbed her pack of cigarettes out of the bedside table. She took a deep breath, she could do this. She headed back out to the log and took a seat. She placed the cigarettes on the log next to her and took the cap off of the bottle, she took one long swig before placing the bottle on the ground between her feet. She pulled a cigarette out of the pack and lit it up. Then before she could lose her nerve she called out in a normal tone of voice. "Carlisle." He was there striding across the yard towards her in mere seconds. "Care to sit with me?" He gave her a nod and sat down next to her, he gave her a look and before he could say a word she cut him off with a wave of her hand. "Don't judge me Carlisle, please. I know these aren't healthy and I shouldn't use them as a crutch. I don't plan on buying more so once these are gone I'm done. There are things that I'm going to have to tell you that is going to be very difficult for me, these will help me stay relatively calm and hopefully I will get through it." Carlisle didn't say anything just nodded his understanding. He would sit and listen, he knew this was difficult so he wouldn't interrupt her. He would let her do this at her own pace and whatever she needed that helped her he wouldn't condemn. He was sure she was being responsible with it as she was with everything else.

She smoked her cigarette as she tried to get her thoughts in order. After she put out her cigarette she grabbed the bottle that sat between her feet, not so much to drink but just to have something in her hands to keep them busy. Since this time she had more time to prepare and get her thoughts in order she was able to tell her story in the more chronological order. She told him how He had took her just into the woods, and told her she was just a distraction, a toy he got bored with, how he left her and how she tried to follow him and ended up lost in the woods. She told Carlisle about being found nearly frostbitten and comatose in the wee hours of the morning by Sam Uley. She elaborated a bit more of her catatonic state as much as she could remember and what she was told, followed by her zombie state. She talked about how she tried to be human and be a teenager. She had tried for Charlie and for Renee, she went out with Jessica. She told Carlisle of Victoria's first attack, then how she saw Laurent in the woods followed by the wolves; how she knew who the wolves were as in the Quilete's from La Push, and more specifically one was Jacob Black her friend since childhood. She told him of how she was seeing signs and traces of Victoria, she knew she was being followed but she had to protect Charlie and the wolves so she led Victoria here away from everyone. She explained the torture that Victoria had begun to inflict on her, but as long as she could keep everyone else safe that was all that mattered. As Bella told her story she would take a swig off and on, by the time her tale was done her bottle of vodka was empty. She placed the empty bottle on the ground next to her feet. She looked up at Carlisle about to grab one more cigarette, but one look at Carlisle's face stopped her in her tracks. For the first time since she had met him, Carlisle looked very much the vampire he was. His beautiful features contorted in anger, he almost reminded her of Victoria for a split moment. The next thing she realized when her brain caught up to her body she was flying, then she was on her bed caged in arms of steel and as much as they were unyielding they were also gentle and safe. She was transported from outside to her bed in the blink of an eye but yet had hardly been jostled. She felt the heavy lethargy pull her down and the last thing she heard before darkness took her was the sound akin to a sonic boom, she thought she felt the earth shake but before she could give it much thought darkness had fallen over her.

She began to fight back the lethargy, wanting to be aware of her surroundings, she didn't want to sleep right now. She began to hear an insistent buzzing she knew they were speaking at vampire speed and she wanted to know what they were saying. She continued to push the lethargy away, she was more aware but still unable to open her eyes or attempt at keeping them open. Finally she was able to form a few words though very groggy, "Hey, enough with the chipmunk chatter, the human wants to hear." The buzzing stopped as they both looked at her. Jasper began to pull back the lethargy as he realized she was pushing it away. Finally she was able to open her eyes and she looked around, before looking up at Jasper who still held her in his arms. "What the hell Jasper!" He looked down at her, "I felt you, you were terrified. I was trying to protect you, I thought Victoria had made an appearance." Bella shook her head "No, I wasn't terrified like that it was more a shock value kind of thing. Carlisle is always so civilized and in control to see him look like a vampire, well it kinda shocked the shit out of me. I'm safe you can let me go now." Jasper gave a curt nod and loosened his grip allowing her to move out of his arms. Carlisle was still over by the door looking down a little sheepishly. "My apologies Bella, I didn't mean to react so harshly, I .. it was just a lot for me to take in. And to be honest I'm very displeased with Ed.. Him. He will be punished for this, his callous behavior will have repercussions. He can't just go around hurting people like that, and lying to everyone to benefit himself. This is not how I taught him to behave and I'm sure he was taught better than this as a human as well. Just because he thinks you're his mate does not mean he gets to dictate everything about your life. And I'm seriously doubting that you are His mate. I think he's just very confused. I apologize as this partially lies on me, I think I changed him too young. He hadn't matured enough to deal with this life. I'm so sorry Bella." Bella stood and carefully made her way down the steps and over to Carlisle, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. "You can't blame yourself for his actions. He is the one to blame. I know you and Esme well enough to know you wouldn't condone this type of behavior, but with his gift he has learned how to manipulate others into thinking and doing as he wishes. What he needs is a severe time out from his gift for a while. Let him function without his gift, and learn to be compassionate towards others, and humans aren't stupid, and we aren't that freakin forgetful. Our minds are not like sieves. We don't forget that quickly. He has a really low opinion of humans. He may not feed from us but part of me thinks he believes humans are below him. I only captivated His attention because of my smell and the fact He couldn't read my mind. But when I failed to follow all of his rules and made it apparent I had a mind of my own, well he was looking for an excuse to leave me for a while. " Bella hugged Carlisle once more before releasing him and stepping back.

Carlisle looked at Bella with admiration, "You may be quite right Bella. Too bad there isn't actually a way that I know of to give that sort of punishment, though I agree a "time out" as you say from his gift would benefit him greatly. Now there is something I wanted to discuss with you, uh I hope you don't mind, well I wanted to know if you would be alright if I had Esme come home. I understand you aren't supposed to actually be here as you're in hiding, I may know a lot about what foods would be best for you; but well Jasper and I both as much as we may have helped Esme with the shopping to keep up appearances, well we aren't the best at it. Esme will be able to do the shopping for you and she misses you so very much. It was so very hard for her to leave." Bella looked at Carlisle and realized she wanted them back it was unfair of her to keep them away from their home. She couldn't do that to them. Though she still wasn't fully sure if all would want to come back, but those that wanted to be here, she would not deny them their home. "Yes Carlisle, please let them know if they wish to return home they are more than able to. This is their home, I will not tell them they can't come home, that's just not right. " Carlisle nodded and turned to head to his office to call Esme. Jasper came up behind Bella and gave her a hug. "Always the bigger person, always self sacrificing." He chuckled as he headed to his study to sit in the quiet while it lasted. With Alice and Emmett in the same house quiet was something of a rare commodity. Bella smiled to herself, the gaping hole in her chest was healing, and she felt that once they were all back and they all confirmed what Jasper and Carlisle said, that gaping hole would be no more. It was true she did love Edward and him leaving her the way he did broke her heart, but what did the most damage was the fact that he stole her family away from her. He made the decision for her and it hurt her. She had felt abandoned by the parents that actually cared for her. They made sure she ate and was well taken care of. He stole the siblings she had never had but always longed for. That was what tore that gaping hole in her chest. She decided to go down to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water and enjoy the quiet peacefulness of the house while she could.

A little while later Carlisle came downstairs and sat in the living room with her. "Bella, I talked to Esme. They will be here tomorrow morning, Esme, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie." Bella gave him a nod. "Okay Carlisle." It was barely a whispered breath but she knew he had no trouble hearing her. They sat quietly together each in their own thoughts. It was a comfortable silence no need to fill the air with endless chatter. Jasper gravitated downstairs sitting in a chair with a book as he enjoyed the quiet calm. The emotional climate of the room was soothing. He was enjoying it while it lasted. Alice always seemed to have a constant excitement running through her and at times he felt himself bouncing up and down along with the little pixie, as her excitement would overwhelm him. Emmett was mostly happy but his mischievousness got them in quite a bit of trouble often, Emmett was always a prankster. Carlisle was usually a constant calm surrounded by love for his mate and family, Esme was about the same as Carlisle just with a bit more protectiveness towards her children. Rosalie, well, as much as she was a bitch on the outside her emotional state was mostly love and protectiveness for her mate as well as the family. She had her bouts of negative emotions but given what she had been through he didn't ever hold it against her. He was just glad that the emo Edward wasn't going to be here, you would think the world was ending at any moment by his emotional state. Bella's emotions no matter what they were, were always so very vibrant even when negative, they were always so strong even now she had just learned to pull them back and hide them from him; but even then he noticed that she had to really concentrate to keep them dulled or hidden, and it seemed as though doing that exhausted her.

Eventually Bella got up and headed to the kitchen re-heating the pizza she had put away in the fridge. She grabbed a bottle of water to go with her pizza and ate in the kitchen. She enjoyed the quiet solitude having gotten so used to it in the past six months. Jasper and Carlisle were both quiet but having them here made her uneasy. Once she was done with her dinner she cleaned up after herself and just to keep her hands busy she wiped down all the counters and cleaned the stove that hadn't been used in at least a month. She finished up and looked around trying to think of what to do next to fill her time. She went upstairs to her room grabbing herself a cigarette and headed to the backyard. She smoked her cigarette looking out into the trees behind the house, she froze as she saw a streak of red fly through the trees. Her terror rose and she pushed it out hoping Jasper would feel her. He was instantly by her side. "What? What is it Bella?" Her face pale and her body shaking she turned towards him but her eyes never left the trees, she barely choked out "Victoria." He was instantly on alert sniffing the air. "Where?" Unable to speak she pointed in the direction she saw the flash of red. "Go inside Bella and stay close to Carlisle." Then he was gone. Bella dropped her cigarette and smashed it with her foot, then turned and ran inside. Carlisle was at the door waiting for her. "Come on Bella, we'll go upstairs." Bella nodded and followed Carlisle. They sat in his office waiting, it wasn't too long before Jasper came in. "I searched the area and didn't see any signs of her; if she was here she's going to know that you are no longer alone. You'll have to be more careful, no more going outside alone. It would be too easy for her to grab you and run." Bella looked up at Jasper and nodded her understanding. "Alright Jasper, no more going outside alone, I can agree with that. For now though I'm going to bed." Carlisle and Jasper both said goodnight to Bella, as she headed out and to her room to get ready for bed. She went to her closet pulling out her pajama shorts and a tank top and went to the bathroom to change and ready herself for bed.

Once she had tucked herself into bed there was a quiet knock on her door. "Come in." She adjusted the blanket over her. Jasper entered her room. "Would you like me to help you sleep tonight?" She thought a moment and realized that with the Victoria sighting it may play havoc with her dreams and the last thing she wanted was to have nightmares all night long. "Please Jasper, it may be beneficial tonight." Jasper nodded and pulled a chair over close to the steps of the bed and took a seat. "Get comfortable, I'll try to keep all the nightmares away." Bella nodded and snuggled down into the comforter. Jasper let loose lethargy, peace, and calm surrounding Bella in it. Her eyes fluttered and closed and soon she was fast asleep. As Bella slept Jasper went deep into thought. The Major had made an appearance to protect Bella, The Major only protected himself and very few others. He didn't make an appearance often it had been decades since he had last shown up. He hadn't even made an appearance to rip James to shreds that had been all Jasper, well with Emmett's help; though it wasn't really needed, Emmett had wanted to protect his baby sister as he had claimed her. Jasper had said she was worth it and she was and still is even more so now. This little human had wormed her way into each and everyone of their hearts, even The Major's surprisingly enough. Something very monumental had taken place within both of them they were no longer the same people they had been, when she had first entered their lives they couldn't help but love her, they loved her for her and who she was, but they also loved her for the positive change she had brought to Edward. He had changed a little bit no longer was he as broody. In the beginning Jasper had felt love from both of them, but after James had attacked her something had changed on Edwards side. He became possessive of her and it outweighed the love he felt for her. In just the few short days he had been here with her and was closer to her and getting to know her a little more everyday, he felt and saw the changes within her. The ordeal she had been through in the past eight to nine months had changed her, she was a stronger person, she had been through so much and yet she had survived it all. He continued his train of thought throughout the night. Keeping tabs on her emotional climate, anytime they got chaotic or took a spin towards the negative he replaced them with peace and calm and lethargy till she was back in a peaceful sleep not being chased by her demons.

At seven in the morning he began to pull back the lethargy, letting her wake up on her own. Slowly she began to stir and wake, she stretched and yawned then rolled to her side and looked at Jasper. Their eyes met, he lost himself in her eyes, and in that moment everything shifted; no longer did gravity hold him to this earth, it was her. In that moment his mind raced taking everything in. From the moment he awoke to this life, what he fought to survive for; was her. Alice destined to bring him here and help him on his path was all for his mate. They knew from the beginning they weren't truly mated but their lives were entwined and together they would find their destined paths. Alice had been his hope, she was the light in his darkened world. She showed him that he deserved to love and be loved, she taught him gentleness, kindness, love and showed him family. Alice was his hope, Bella, well Bella was just so much more. Bella loved fiercely, and cared for all so deeply. She accepted everyone for who they were and loved them as they were. This was the moment he'd been waiting for all his life, who he had been waiting for was right here in front of him. It was always her and from now on till the end of time it would only ever be her. He blinked and chased his thoughts away. This is not the time to tell her. Not just yet, she needed time to heal; and there was a threat above her head that she was trying to cope with. When the time was right he would tell her, he would be open and honest with her and tell her his feelings. He gave her a small smile, "Morning Bella. Did you sleep well?" Bella returned his smile, "Morning to you too Jasper. I slept very well, thank you." Jasper nodded and stood, "I'll leave you to your morning routine, and go make you a pot of coffee." Jasper left the room while Bella woke up more fully before attempting to get out of the bed. She shook her head at herself, she had meant to talk to them about her bed and hadn't done it yet. She needed to make sure she did that soon, before she broke something. Once she felt she was awake and alert enough she headed to her closet. She found her brown turtleneck sweater, and a pair of dark wash blue jeans. She didn't want to be wearing Jasper's clothes with Alice coming she wasn't sure what the backlash of that would be, and she knew Emmett would tease her endlessly. She went to the bathroom and took care of her human moment then showered. After she had showered and dressed, she put her hair back in a French braid; then made her way down to the kitchen towards the heavenly smell of coffee.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Bella sat in the chair in the living room, awaiting the arrival of the others. Carlisle lounged on the sofa, and Jasper sat in the chair close to Bella. Bella nervously picked at her clothes, pulling her sleeves down; self conscious of her scars that marred her body, she constantly checked to make sure none of them were showing. Jasper feeling her nerves placed his hand on hers and stroked her with his thumb sending a little calm her way. She breathed deeply, trying to focus on the calm. Bella noticed the slightest movement of the two men as they inclined their heads only slightly signaling someone had turned on to the driveway. Any normal human would never have noticed, but Bella had never been normal. She had always been very perceptive and being around vampires had made her even more perceptive. She stood not wanting to be in a position she couldn't make a run if she tried. Logically she knew she could never outrun a vampire. They were way too fast. She moved away from the chair a bit, behind her led two options, the stairs that led to her sanctuary or the backdoor. She stood body ready to fight or flee, as she waited for the others to pull up and walk through the door. As the car pulled up to a stop and the four vampires emerged from the car, Carlisle stood and moved towards the door as Jasper did the same. Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice all entered the house grouped together till Alice spotted Bella. Alice shrieked Bella's name and ran towards her. Bella heard the shriek but did not see the little pixie, instead she saw a flash of red moving towards her. Bella stumbled backwards a couple of steps before the fright overtook her and she crumbled to the ground. Jasper let out a thunderous growl and swept Bella up in his arms before she even hit the floor. Alice hearing him stopped dead in her tracks as the others all froze, all eyes on him holding a collapsed Bella in his arms. Jasper eyed the others slowly. "No sudden movements, no loud noises, and no barraging her with questions. She will talk when she is ready, she lives here now and you will all do well to respect her needs. Now I'm going to take her to her room and try to undo the damage you have done." His eyes solely on Alice as he stated his last sentence. As he was about to turn to head up the stairs Rosalie was the only one who voiced what they all were thinking. "What happened to her?" Jasper continued to head up the stairs but threw one word out in answer. "Hell." Jasper took her up to her room sitting on her bed cradling her, sending her calm, comfort, and peace. He rocked her and whispered words of comfort in her ear. As he held her he went in search of the items he knew would help her when she came out of her panicked state. She hadn't actually fainted more it was her body shutting down to protect itself from the attack she was sure she had seen coming. She had been through so much and survived, but there was only so much a mind and body could take before it just shut down. He located her vodka, and then went in search of her cigarettes only to come upon the empty pack. He frowned then whipped out his phone and sent a quick text to Emmett knowing he would happily get anything for Bella. Once he had texted Emmett with the list of things that would help Bella, he sat there with her in his arms rocking and cooing words of comfort to her. He knew the others could hear him but if they knew what was good for them they wouldn't say a damn word about it. Though he knew the only one he would really have to worry about had left to run the errand. It would be a few hours before Emmett got back, he had said to go to Olympia to acquire the items.

Eventually Bella became aware of her surroundings coming back from the darkness. The first thing that came to her awareness was Jasper's soothing voice cooing the same calming mantra over and over. "You're safe Bella, I'm right here. I promise I won't let anyone hurt you. I've got you, you're okay." She let his voice soothe her panicked mind and body, relaxing into him. She slowly became more aware of her surroundings. She noticed she was in Jaspers arms and he was holding her on her bed in her room, she was safe. Finally she was able to open her eyes, her mind concentrating on the emotional cocktail he had sent her as he slowly pulled it back. She felt the peace, comfort, calm, safety, and she halted over the last one she felt it, knew what it was but it didn't make sense as to why he was sending it to her. Her brain grasped at the fact that it had to be just a part of the positive emotions he was sending. Just a part of the emotional cocktail. There was no other reason to send her love, she knew he cared but love? No, she couldn't believe that. He couldn't love her. They had never really spent any time together for him to actually feel that strongly either way about her. She was sure the only reason she was feeling that was due to the emotional cocktail he was sending her, all positive emotions, she even felt a little happiness in there as well. The more aware she became the more he pulled back on the emotional cocktail. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up at him. He looked into her eyes testing and tasting her emotions he loosened his grip to allow her to sit up. She sat up slowly to prevent her head spinning. This wasn't the first time this had happened and normally coming out of a panic attack that bad made her feel slightly light headed and a little discombobulated. Well honestly slightly and a little were probably understatements. If she were honest with herself coming out of one of those panic attacks left her completely disoriented, and once it had taken her quite some time just to figure out who and where the hell she was. She still hadn't completely gotten back the lost time. The only thing she did finally figure out was there was a good three days that were just gone, She remembered waking up on a Friday morning and then nothing till Monday afternoon. That was back when she was actually attempting to keep track of her days on a calendar. It was shortly after that she gave up on trying to keep track of time and days or even weeks or months. She just didn't care anymore. Jasper helped offering her support and helping her sit up fully. He handed her the bottle of vodka, "Here Bella, take a drink I know you need it." She took the bottle from him and took a swig then another before handing it back. She leaned her head back on Jasper's shoulder and let her mind wander. She couldn't get her mind around it, Jasper was supposed to be the weakest of them all but yet he was the one who had been here for her the whole time holding her comforting her. If he struggled so much with his thirst then how was this so easy for him to do, he had no shown any inclination that this was at all difficult for him. She thought that the main issue wasn't his control over his thirst, she was sure it had to do with his empathic ability, it wasn't only his thirst he had to contend with but the rest of the families as well. She knew this before, it was why she never blamed him at her party it was everyone else's on top of his, add to the fact that He had always said she was like his own special brand of heroin. All of that had assaulted Jasper and he wasn't prepared. At the Ballet studio he had been prepared, knowing what he would be walking into. The paper cut that was a spur of the moment accident that he wasn't prepared for, and even then he didn't actually lunge till after He had thrown her into the table and sliced up her arm with all the plates, that never made any sense to her since she was the only one eating. There was something so very wrong about this whole thing and she really had never put a lot of thought in it but she needed to. Something not right was going on here and before she even thought about forgiving the little pixie, she would have to do some real hard thinking. She just wished she had a non biased person to use as a soundboard.

Jasper gave her a slight nudge to bring her out of her thoughts. She looked over at him and arched a brow in question. "Emmett's just outside the door he has some things for you and he wants to come in and see you, but it's up to you." She took a deep breath trying to calm her emotions, she berated herself in her head, this was Emmett he would never hurt her she could trust him just as surely as she trusted Jasper. She gave Jasper a nod to let him in. Jasper spoke too low and too quick for her to actually hear what he said, but only a few seconds later Emmett slowly opened the door and entered the room. He moved slowly even for a human his arms holding a large paper bag. "Belly Boo? I uh brought you some things. I wasn't sure exactly what you like so I bought a few different flavors and brands." Bella watched as he made his way towards the chair that sat next to the steps that led up to her bed. He sat down and pulled out four smaller paper bags. Each bag held a bottle of vodka, the first one was one hundred proof, the second was vanilla flavored, the third was caramel flavored, and the last one was cake icing flavored vodka. She never knew they had so many different flavors of vodka. Holy Crow! Once he pulled out the four bottles of vodka he pulled out 3 packs of cigarettes all full flavored the first one was a pack of Marlboro full flavored 100's, the second was a pack of Camel wides, and the third was a pack of Newport regulars 100's. Bella grabbed the pack of Marlboro's and opened it and pulled out a cigarette then looked around, she grabbed the bottle of vodka that lay next to her and Jasper on the bed. She looked from Jasper to Emmett, before finally speaking. "So who's gonna go with me?" Her voice was still a little on the quiet side but they all could hear her. "Well darlin, I need to go hunt, Esme and Alice went shopping to stock up the house, so that leaves Emmett, Rosalie, and Carlisle. It's up to you, take your pick." Bella looked at Jasper and gave him a nod in understanding. " So who wants to guard the human?" Jasper and Emmett both could hear Carlisle chuckle at that one, and Rosalie told Emmett he could go first; Jasper felt and heard the amusement in her voice. Emmett stood up and was about to grab Bella and run outside with her but Jasper gave him a shot of caution and a quick shake of his head. Emmett decided it was wise to behave and held out a huge hand for Bella. Bella placed her small hand inside Emmett's large one, he helped her down the few steps, before he stopped and looked at her bed. "I think we need to fix this bed and make it a little easier for the human to use without risk of her breaking something." Bella chuckled, "I had the same thought but kept forgetting to ask Jasper or Carlisle about it." Emmett nodded "I'll fix it for ya later." Bella nodded, "Just don't mess up the room, I happen to like the scheme in here." Emmett nodded as they made their way out the door and down the stairs. Bella took the lead going out the back door and to what she now thought of as her designated smoking area.

Bella sat on the log lighting up her cigarette and inhaling deeply. She twisted the cap off of the bottle and took a swig. Emmett sat next to her, he was uneasy at the seriousness of what was going on, he didn't like not knowing the important stuff. He knew something was very wrong, well if he was honest everything was very wrong and had been since that planned birthday party. It never sat right with him, all that food and all those plates when she was the only human. He shook his head to dispel the thoughts running through his head. He looked his little sister over closely. He hadn't really looked at her yet, afraid of what he might see, and he knew he was right as he took in her appearance. She was too thin, and pale, dark circles, like bruises under her eyes, but what struck him the most odd was she was out here in 80 degree weather wearing a long sleeved brown turtleneck. Having lived decades with Alice and his Rosie had taught them how to wear appropriate clothing to fit in with the humans and what she was wearing told him something was very off. Though his first priority was finding out exactly what he was out her supposedly guarding her from. "Bella?" He couldn't continue she looked over at him a sad look in her eyes. He had missed his little sister and wished he had not let the others talk him into leaving. He never wanted to leave her. He hoped she would forgive him. Bella looked up at her big bear of a brother, there was a sadness in his face that just didn't belong. She wanted to see him smile and laugh and be his jovial self but it would take time. She never blamed him for leaving she knew he didn't have a choice. She would never blame him for going where his mate went. Rosalie was never her biggest fan and Bella knew that Emmett couldn't choose between a sister and a mate. She would never want him to be faced with that either. She locked eyes with him wanting so desperately to understand, "Emmett, don't apologize. I never blamed you. You followed your mate, if you had tried to stay Rosalie would have been unhappy if not angry with you. I do know a little about mates, not a lot, but enough to know for you there was no choice. There is nothing for me to forgive. I'm not mad at Rosalie either she made her views very clear, she was never my biggest fan. I understood then just as I do now, I'm human and me kf your kind puts all of us in danger. Rosalie never wanted you to be in danger, but you being associated with a human that knows the secret puts you in danger. She doesn't like me because of the situation. I bring danger to the family, her family, and one thing I do know about Rosalie is she is loyal to her family, and she loves fiercely. It's why I love her. Even though she doesn't really like me; but I understand where she comes from on that front." Emmett gave Bella a tentative smile then wrapped her in a hug. "I missed you so much sis. I tried to call but I was always stopped. They told me you would be happier with us out of your life and you would move on. I just wanted you happy. There is something I need to ask you though." Emmett paused looking at her watching and seeing every minute movement and reaction. "I'm on guard duty, though I have no clue as to what I'm guarding you from." Bella took a breath, her face going more pale, she took another swig and smoked her cigarette before finally breathing out the name that invoked so much fear and pain. "Victoria." Emmett jumped up and started pacing in front of her. Bella finished her cigarette, then took another swig from the bottle. Suddenly he was in front of her, "Explain Bella, everything. I need to know everything." Bella gave him a nod, "I know you do Emmett but I am only going to tell this once more, so we will wait till Esme and Alice get here. Then I will tell all of you at once."

Bella sat in the living room in the chair feet curled up underneath her as she stared out the window. Emmett had disappeared though from the banging going on upstairs she was sure he was fixing her bed. She wasn't sure exactly where Rose or Carlisle had gone off to, if she were to guess Rose was most likely in her room and Carlisle was probably in his office. She sat and stared waiting for Jasper to come back from hunting. She was really hoping he'd be back before she had to retell her tale, but if he wasn't she would just have to soldier on without him. She had survived this long on her own she would be able to get through this afternoon on her own as well. She hadn't realized the passage of time, but it had been a few hours when suddenly Carlisle, Rosalie, and Emmett appeared downstairs in the living room with her. She jumped slightly at their sudden appearance, Carlisle gave her a sad smile with an apology of startling her. It was a moment later when she realized why they had materialized. Esme's minivan appeared around the bend coming up the drive. Carlisle and Emmett went outside to meet them and help bring in the bags, surprisingly to Bella, Rosalie positioned herself between Bella and the door, she also made sure to remind them no vampire speed in a low tone so Bella wouldn't hear. Rosalie may not have cared for the girl but she never wanted her to be tortured. Her main concern was the danger the human posed to her family. In the beginning when she found out that the human knew what they were she argued for a quick painless death for the human girl, to assure the safety of her mate and family.

The others rushed around the kitchen getting everything put away, once it was done they all walked human pace back into the living room. All eyes were on Bella, she knew what needed to be done but was having a hard time, she had been over her story twice and didn't relish in the fact that she would have to retell it yet again. At least this would be the last time, she would not tell it again after this. She thought over Jasper's and Carlisle's reaction to her story and looked over at Emmett, his reaction she thought would be worse. "To save Esme's furniture and possibly her house may I suggest that we have this talk outside?" Carlisle gave Bella a knowing look and nodded. "Yes Bella, I think that would be a wise idea." Bella stood, "Alright well I'm going to need a few things that will help me get through this and keep me as calm as possible, I'll meet you all in the backyard in a few minutes." They all nodded and headed to the backyard, Emmett got busy at vampire speed moving the log that she had used before off to the side, and went to the second garage where they had some things stored the others noticing what he was doing smiled and helped as he sat out the patio furniture that had been stored away. When Bella came back down and exited the backdoor she smiled as she saw the wicker bench and chairs that sat around a wicker table. Once she got closer she realized what she took for wicker was actually more like some kind of metal. Russet brown cushions were tied to the seats for comfort, as she sat in a chair she noticed that they were indeed very comfortable. She placed her pack of cigarettes and ashtray on the table next to her bottle of vodka. The others had taken their seats, Carlisle stood behind Esme a hand on her shoulder in comfort. Rose and Emmett sat together on the loveseat, while Alice sat in a chair placing herself in between the two couples. Bella took a deep breath, she would need a lot of strength to get through this and she wasn't sure if she had it in her. As she grabbed the bottle to twist off the cap Emmett told her to wait just a minute. She sat there wondering what he was doing as he rushed inside the house. She grinned when he came out a moment later with a bottle of soda and a glass. He came over and mixed a drink for her before sitting back down next to Rosalie. "I've heard it tastes better that way for humans anyway. " Bella smiled her thanks and took a drink. He had made it a lot stronger than she had ever made it, but she would just make sure to drink it more slowly. She wasn't really trying to get drunk, she just needed a little liquid courage to get through what she was about to say. She grabbed out a cigarette and lit it up, taking a deep drag. She closed her eyes and began to tell them what she had been through since they left. Though like with Jasper she left out some of the details, that she had told Carlisle, but he had to know the extent of her injuries so she didn't really have a choice; but with the others they didn't need every dirty detail. She started with His words in the woods and how he took off. How she had tried to follow only to end up lost and alone on the ground. She told them of Victoria, and how she had to keep everyone else safe which was why she was here at the Cullen house. She apologized for intruding into their home, she just didn't know where to go. She told them how Victoria tracked her here as she hoped. She told them Victoria had been torturing her, but not how, just that she has scars from Victoria. She ended with how Jasper had saved her. She didn't look up she couldn't stand to see the pity in Esme's and Alice's eyes. She didn't want to be pitied, she just wanted the nightmare to be over. She grabbed the glass and took the last swig of her drink Emmett had mixed for her.

She felt cold arms envelope her, she was shocked that it was Rosalie that offered her comfort. She looked up and noticed everyone else was gone, they had obviously needed to go for a run. Rosalie had stayed, she held Bella close as the tears streamed down Bella's gaunt face. Rosalie didn't use soft words and try to calm her, instead Rosalie told her how strong she was, Bella had gone through all of that and still sat here to tell her tale. After a few moments Rosalie pulled back only to grab a chair to put next to Bella, she sat there with Bella, giving her time to calm down. Bella grabbed out another cigarette, she took a swig from the bottle before lighting up her cigarette, she sat there in silence as Rosalie sat next to her. Rosalie offered her quiet support and they sat together in comfortable silence. Carlisle and Esme were the first to walk back through the treeline. Esme immediately went to Bella's side wrapping her arms around the girl; venom tears that would never fall filled her eyes as she apologized over and over. Bella pulled back and looked at Esme. "Esme, it's alright, you have nothing to apologize for. Carlisle told me that He said I wanted you all to leave. He lied and you couldn't have known, with his mind reading abilities he was able to easily manipulate the situation and say exactly the right words to convince you all to leave." Esme hugged Bella, "Still dear we should have questioned, I should have at least called you. We all heard what you said to Alice and Ed.. Him both, to tell Jasper you understood and you forgave him instantly. It should have sounded off to me that one minute so forgiving and the next you couldn't be around us. I'm so sorry dear." Esme hugged Bella close quietly sobbing though no tears fell, Bella cried for them both tears spilled over the rims of her eyes and fell quietly as she held on to Esme. After a few moments Esme straightened up, "I'm going to go make you some dinner dear. " Bella gave Esme a watery smile, "Thank you Esme." Esme and Carlisle made their way back into the house. Alice came out of the house at that moment and walked over taking a seat next to Bella. Bella noticed that Alice had changed clothes, nothing too unusual Alice would never look disheveled around others even her family. Alice looked sorrowfully at Bella. "I.. I'm so sorry Bella I never saw that he was lying or what was happening. He told me you had asked me not to look, but it's not always something I can control." Emmett appeared next to Rosalie and Bella looked from Alice to Emmett than back to Alice. "For one Alice, I didn't make any conscious decisions. I learned how to avoid your seeing." Bella gave Alice a slight smirk to which Alice gave her a playful glare. "Now for two," Bella looked at Emmett thoughtfully for a second before she continued. "Emmett if someone had hurt Rosalie and you were seeking revenge, would you plan out how or would you be going on sheer instinct?" Emmett gave out an instinctive growl at the thought of his Rosie being harmed in any way, before giving Bella a sheepish look, "Sorry Bella, didn't mean to growl like that, I would say that would be all instinct no planning." Bella nodded and looked back at Alice. "Without conscious decisions it puts holes in your visions. You only see when someone decides, but there are ways to do things without making that decision. I made the decision to go to Phoenix, but I came here instead. It wasn't a decision it was just where my truck took me. It was on a subconscious level. Once I realized what I was doing I made sure to block you by not deciding anything. A part of me knew if you had seen me here and being hurt, you would come to try to help and I couldn't stand the thought of you being hurt or killed over me." Alice shook her head, "Bella, how many times do we have to tell you? We are stronger and we wouldn't get hurt. Jasper told you before, he may have said the words but we all feel the same way; You are worth it." They had all gone quiet each in their own thoughts when Esme appeared at the backdoor of the house. "Bella, your dinner's ready." Bella nodded and stood up, she stretched a bit after sitting for most of the afternoon, her back had grown stiff. They all made their way back into the house. Emmett grabbed Bella's cigarettes and vodka, "I'll put these away for you, so you can go eat. You need more meat on those bones." Bella smiled in thanks and headed to the kitchen.

Bella sat down at the table, the food smelled delicious. Before her sat a small plate of Chicken Fettuccine, and a small Caesar salad. "It smells delicious Esme, thank you." Bella dug in and surprised herself when she finished everything on her plate. Esme had given her small portions knowing she wouldn't be able to eat a whole lot. When Bella had finished Esme surprised her with a tiny piece of strawberry cheesecake. Once Bella finished the desert she felt a little over full, but it had been so good she just couldn't help herself. She cleaned up after herself, only after arguing with Esme, that since she had cooked it was only right that Bella cleaned up. Esme conceded but only after she made Bella agree to her helping. The two women worked together cleaning up. Once they had finished they made their way to the living room where everyone else had convened, everyone sat around each in their own thoughts. The sun had set and it was getting late. Bella kept fighting her drooping eyes, trying her best to keep herself awake. Jasper was still not back and she didn't want to try to sleep without his help. She knew without him here to keep her in the dreamless state the nightmares would return. Jasper had told her of how she had screamed in her night terrors, and she knew she had awaken herself up on many nights with a scream tearing through her throat. It was one thing for the others to hear of her story, but she wouldn't subject them to her night terrors. Carlisle watched as she fought sleep and knew she needed her rest, "Bella, you need to get some sleep. Your body needs rest to heal, as does your mind." Bella shook her head, "I can't sleep yet Carlisle. Not yet." He gave her a knowing sad smile. She sat in the chair watching out the window into the darkness waiting. She couldn't sleep without Jasper's help, she wished he'd hurry back. The others could see she was waiting but was unsure what she was waiting for. Her eyes drooped again and this time she was unable to fight, she drifted off sitting in the chair. She awoke to being picked up and carried, her eyes shot open and she began to struggle, till she was calmed and she looked up to see it was Jasper. "Sorry darlin, I meant to get back sooner. Sleep Bella, I'll keep the dreams away. I'm here, you're safe." Bella gave Jasper a thankful smile and drifted back to sleep knowing he would keep her safe. He carried her to her room and placed her in her bed. He pulled the chair next to her bed and focused on her emotions keeping them calm and peaceful, helping her get the healing sleep she needed without the tortured dreams that plagued her. At one point Alice quietly entered the room and quietly spoke to Jasper. Jasper stayed through the night by Bella's side, while Alice went to fixing his study into his room and taking all his clothes and his few belongings that were in there and moved them to his study. Esme had came up and helped arrange his study to make room for his clothes and the few belongings he had. They spent the night getting everything situated for Jasper, while he stayed with Bella keeping her sleep calm and peaceful.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** the words in ~ _Italics~_ belong to Stephanie Meyers, from Eclipse Ch. 7 I want this story to ring true and the characters to remain as close to truth as possible otherwise it's just not Twilight. I hope you all are enjoying this story. It is my first fanfic so please read and review.

Chapter 5

Bella woke to what was soon becoming a routine, she stretched, yawned, and rolled over locking eyes with Jasper; gave him a small smile. "Morning." Jasper returned her smile, "Mornin' darlin'. I'm sorry I was delayed last night. Go ahead and get your shower and get dressed, Esme's cooking your breakfast. After you're done we're having a family meeting to go over what happened last night." Bella nodded as Jasper arose from the chair and headed out to give her privacy. Bella got up and showered and dressed, she could feel the heat through the window already, she could have sworn she lived in Forks now, not Phoenix. Though she loved the heat and had missed it. She dressed in a pair of jeans and one of Jasper's long sleeved shirts he had given her. She didn't have much options for long sleeves, with everyone here she just didn't feel comfortable in a tank top or even a short sleeved shirt. She had a feeling once everything was done downstairs she would probably spend most of the day in her room so she could change into a tank top to be a little more comfortable. She headed downstairs and her nose was accosted with the wonderful smells of bacon, eggs, pancakes, and coffee. She skipped down the last few stairs and headed straight for the dining room, she saw her plate had already been fixed and sat waiting for her at the table. She sat down and began to eat, she never could quite understand how a vampire who never eats could make the most delicious meals. When she finished she cleaned up her spot and took her dishes to the kitchen. She washed them quickly and set them in the dish drainer to dry. Walking back to the dining room she noticed they were all there gathered around the table. Jasper motioned for her to take her seat next to him. Carlisle was at the head of the table, Esme at the foot, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett sat across from her and Jasper. Once Bella was seated Carlisle nodded to Jasper who stood and began to speak. "So on my way back from hunting yesterday, I was met by a wolf who wanted to have a meeting, and asked if I could meet him at the treaty line. I went ahead and met with them, to get a feel for what they wanted. I met Sam Uley at the treaty line he had two wolves with him. When he realized I had came alone he dismissed them. He wanted to ask why I was back and who of us were back and how long we were staying. I gave him the abridged version of what the town knows. Alice and I are no longer together, I came here to be alone and think of what I was going to do next, leaving out the collage stuff I had told some of the town folk. I told him who had come to check on me to make sure I was alright. Let him know I wasn't sure how long any of us was staying; we weren't all back, as in Carlisle wasn't going to resume at the hospital or any of that. We were keeping a low profile, enjoying the quiet of Forks. I did not tell him anything about Bella, nor did I ask anything, I didn't want to raise any suspicions. Sam told me why he wanted to meet with me, I didn't let on that we had any knowledge of what he told me. Basically, he told me of a red haired vampire that has been around this area, they weren't sure exactly what she wanted, but because of the vampire in the area they had been guarding Forks and Charlie, as well as the reservation. With us being back he wanted to know if we would be guarding Forks. I told him continue what they were doing, as I had said we were going to stay very close to the house, we wouldn't really be in the town much if at all. I did ask if they had a reason to feel the need to protect Charlie's place. Apparently, and this is when I asked about Bella, before Bella went back to Phoenix, they traced the female vampire scent to Charlie's they haven't smelled any recent scent of her or any others but until this one was caught and destroyed they would take all precautions of keeping everyone safe. So as far as they know Bella is not here, and they don't know why this female vampire is around and hasn't left the area; but they are being watchful and careful. He did let me know that she seems very slippery, everytime they think they have her she manages to slip right past them. The way he explained it I'm wondering if she has a power of evasion. So as it stands if we see her we let them know and they will contact us if they find any trace of her around Forks. I informed him that I would speak to everyone but mainly Carlisle and if need be we could have another meeting and work out a plan to help them corral her and take her out." Jasper sat back down having said all that needed said. Now he waited for discussion, ideas, and maybe a plan.

Bella spoke softly, "They haven't found any evidence of her in town lately, because I lured her here away from all of them. Why are they still trying to track her.? They are going to get themselves killed." They all looked at her, Jasper had been growling low and steady since she started to speak but it was Carlisle who spoke trying to diffuse the situation and keep The Major at bay. "Bella, we've been through this, you are living under my roof and there fore under my rules, as Coven leader, you will listen to me. You are apart of this Coven, I may call us a family and we are that but we are vampires. I am the leader and the ruler over this Family, you are one of us. You will not be a martyr for us or anyone else we are strong and we have the numbers to protect you, the wolves are strong and they have the numbers to defeat Victoria. You will not needlessly worry about this and you will not make any foolish plans or decisions. Do I make myself clear?" Bella lowered her head and gave a nod, but after a moment she realized the nod would not suffice. "Yes Carlisle, I understand." Carlisle gave a nod and then made sure the others knew to keep an eye on her, especially Jasper and Alice, but also he looked at Emmett, who no one else outside the family knew but he could be very perceptive. Much like Bella, he saw a lot that others didn't. Then he addressed everyone. "Alright then I will call Billy Black to set up a meeting with Sam, I'd like Jasper to go with me, the rest of you stay here with Bella. We will negotiate the treaty to ensure that everyone is kept safe, and try to see if we can track Victoria." Everyone gave a nod of understanding and the family meeting was over. Alice stood and went over to talk quietly with Carlisle, letting him know she would watch but couldn't guarantee she would see. Explaining that not only did Bella know how to work around her visions. Lately Bella had become very blurry; she couldn't always see what Bella's decisions were, and if anyone made decisions around her or pertaining to her it became blurry and slightly fuzzy. She didn't understand it, she never quite had this problem of seeing Bella before. In fact before they left Bella had always been very clear. Jasper hearing the conversation made his way over. Telling both Carlisle and Alice that he was having the same difficulty with his gift when it came to her, she had been able to successfully block out her own emotions, from him though not for long, but her emotions before they left had always been very clear, now though he had a hard time getting a read on them; and he could only influence her if she accepted it. Though, she had proven in Phoenix that she could push his influence away, but now she seemed to do that much easier. If she didn't want to be influenced, she was able to push it away. Carlisle nodded and looked thoughtful as they spoke, when they had finished he took a quick glance at Bella. "I had thought with Edward unable to read her mind that she may be showing a latent power of being a shield. I had thought that since neither of you had a problem with your gifts around her that she might just be a mental shield, but it could be possible with what she has gone through as a human her shield may be expanding to more than just mental. We will have to be very careful when we turn her; she may have a mental and physical shield, which will prove very interesting when trying to tame and train a newborn." Jasper had a look of surprise on his face before it went back to his usual blank mask, as he started to strategize how to tame and train a newborn with a shield. This would be difficult to say the least.

With the meeting over Bella headed upstairs, she was starting to get uncomfortable in the long sleeved shirt. She wanted to change into something a little cooler. Once in her room she changed out of the long sleeved and into one of her tank tops, she thought for a second before grabbing out the hoodie she had stolen from Charlie at the end of January. It was hunter green with yellow lettering FPD underneath in parentheses it said Forks Police Department. She sat on her bed holding the hoodie close to her she sniffed it, it was still there if barely, the scent of her Dad. Old spice and gun oil. She missed Charlie, but to keep him safe she had only called once, 2 days after she left to let him know she had made it to Phoenix and was safe and sound. She hadn't spoken to him since. Neither had she spoken to Renee. She missed her parents but she also had to keep them safe. Charlie would want to protect her, and being Chief of Police he would demand she tell him who had hurt her. She couldn't tell him anything without putting his life in danger. She would protect her human family at least, seeing as her vampire family wouldn't allow her to protect them. She had been sitting lost in thought for a little while when she heard a soft knock on the door, she pulled on the hoodie before she said for them to come in. Jasper came in and looked at her puzzled over the hoodie, but shrugged it off and let her know that he and Carlisle were going to the treaty line to meet and discuss things with the wolves. They'd be back in a bit, everyone else was here and downstairs. She nodded and told him to be safe. He smiled as he walked out and closed her door behind him. When the door was shut she pulled off the hoodie. She had wished she could change into shorts as well but if anyone came up she would have to change clothes before answering the door, it was easier to just slip on the hoodie. She laid back on her bed thinking hoping that the wolves and vampires would be able to have a peaceful meeting, of course with Jasper there it would help. He would be able to keep everyone calm. She enjoyed the quiet, laying on her bed, she had become so accustomed to it being here alone for the last four and a half months. Of course she was no longer alone and it wasn't too long before there was another knock on her door. She pulled the hoodie back on before answering. She was surprised to see it was Rosalie. "Bella is it okay if we talk, there's some things I need to say and explain to you; as well as I owe you an apology for the way I acted before we left. Bella gave her a nod, "Sure Rosalie, did you want to maybe go outside and talk? I was about to ask Emmett if he wouldn't mind going with me so I could have a cigarette, as long as you don't mind the smoking thing I wouldn't mind you going with me instead." Rosalie gave Bella a small smile. "Thank you Bella, and I would actually love to join you outside. Oh and you may want to grab a drink, my story isn't a pretty one." Bella gave her a sad smile before grabbing her pack of cigarettes and her bottle of vodka.

They made their way out to the table in the yard both taking a seat, Bella took out a cigarette and lit it up waiting for Rosalie to begin. Rosalie looked down at her hands, before looking up and giving Bella a small smile. "It was never about me not liking you Bella, I just... well maybe I should tell my story first then explain, I think it would make more sense to you that way. _~I lived in a different world than you do, Bella. My human world was a much simpler place. It was nineteen thirty-three, I was eighteen, beautiful, and my life was perfect. My Parents were thoroughly middle class. My father had a stable job in a bank, he saw his prosperity as a reward for talent and hard work. I took it all for granted then; in my home, it was as if the Great Depression was only a troublesome rumor. It was my mother's job to keep our house – and myself and my two younger brothers – in spotless order. My parents were social climbers, I guess is what you would call them they had social aspirations. My beauty was like a gift to them. The saw so much more potential in it than I did. I knew what I wanted out of life, and there didn't seem to be any way that I wouldn't get exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be loved, I wanted the huge flowery wedding where everyone in town would watch me walk down the aisle on my father's arm and think I was the most beautiful thing they'd ever seen. I was silly and shallow, but I was content. I also wanted the material things of life. I wanted a big house with elegant furnishings that someone else would clean and a modern kitchen that someone else would cook in. As I said shallow. Young, and very shallow. And I didn't see any reason why I wouldn't get these things. There were only a few things that I wanted that were more meaningful. One thing in particular. My very closest friend was a girl named Vera. She married young, just seventeen. A year later she had a son, a beautiful little boy with dimples and curly black hair. It was the first time I'd ever felt truly jealous of anyone else in my entire life. It was a different time. I was the same age as you, but I was ready for it all. I yearned to have a baby of my own, I wanted my own house and a husband who would kiss me when he got home from work. Just like Vera." Rosalie took a deep unneeded breath,"In Rochester there was one royal family – the Kings, ironically enough. Royce King owned the bank my father worked at, and nearly every other really profitable business in town. That's how his son, Royce King the Second" - her mouth twisted around the name, it came out through her teeth - "saw me the first time/ He was going to take over at the bank, and so he began overseeing the different positions. Two days later, my mother conveniently forgot to send my father's lunch to work with him. I remember being confused when she insisted that I wear my white organza and roll my hair up just to run over to the bank. I didn't notice Royce watching me particularly. Everyone watched me. But that night the first of the roses came. Every night of our courtship, he sent a bouquet of roses to me. Royce was handsome, he had lighter hair than I did and pale blue eyes. He said my eyes were like violets, and then those started showing up alongside the roses. To put it mildly, my parents approved. This was everything they dreamed of, and Royce seemed to be everything I dreamed of; the fairy tale prince, come to make me a princess. Everything I wanted, yet it was still no more than I expected. We were engaged before I'd known him for two months._

 _"We didn't spend a great deal of time alone with each other. Royce told me he had many responsibilities at work, and, when we were together, he liked the people to look at us, to see me on his arm. I liked that too. It wasn't a long engagement. Plans went ahead for the most lavish wedding, it was going to be everything I'd ever wanted. I was completely happy." Rosalie stopped for a moment her hands clenched her jaw tight before taking another unneeded breath to calm herself. Bella placed a comforting hand on top of hers and Rosalie started in surprise before giving Bella a small smile. Rosalie relaxed her hands and took another breath. " I was at Vera's that night, her little Henry really was adorable all smiles and dimples, he was just sitting up on his own. Vera walked me to the door as I was leaving. It was dark in the streets, the lamps already on. I hadn't realized how late it was, it was cold too. Very cold for late April. I was a few streets from my house when I heard them. A cluster of men under a broken streetlamp, laughing too loud. Drunk. I wished I'd called my father to escort me home, but the way was so short it seemed silly. And then he called my name. It was Royce and some of his friends, sons of other rich men. Royce had been telling them of my beauty, one of them said it was hard to tell with me all covered up. Royce suddenly ripped my jacket from my shoulders popping the brass buttons off. They scattered all over the street. They were laughing, he tore my hat out of my hair. The pins wrenched my hair from the roots, and I cried out in pain. They seemed to enjoy that." Rosalie looked up at Bella, "I won't make you listen to the rest, they left me in the street, still laughing as they stumbled away. I waited in the road to die. It was cold, though there was so much pain that I was surprised it bothered me. I was waiting for death to come, impatient for it. It was taking so long... Carlisle found me then. He'd smelled the blood, and come to investigate. I remember being vaguely irritated as he worked over me, trying to save my life. I'd never liked Dr. Cullen or his wife and her brother – as he claimed to be at that time. It had upset me that they were more beautiful than I was, especially that the men were. I'd thought I'd died when he pulled me from the ground and ran with me, it felt like I was flying. I remembered being horrified that the pain didn't stop... Then I was in a bright room, and it was warm. I was slipping away, and I was grateful, as the pain began to dull. But suddenly something sharp was cutting me, my throat, my wrists, my ankles. I screamed in shock, thinking he'd brought me to hurt me more. Then the fire started burning through me, and I didn't care about anything else. I begged him to kill me. The pain finally ended and they explained to me what I was. I believed him, I felt the thirst, my hard skin; and I saw my brilliant red eyes. Shallow as I was, I felt better when I saw my reflection in the mirror the first time."~ (Eclipse Ch. 7 owned by Stephanie Meyers)_ Rosalie blinked her eyes and smiled up at Bella. "There's a bit more but that can be saved for another time. I owe you an apology for the way I treated you Bella. I was trying to push you away. You have everything I wanted, you have your whole life ahead of you. And you were just going to throw it away. You have a choice, and you're choosing wrong Bella. You still have time to find a husband, have children, watch them grow, and live life the way it's supposed to be lived. Not like this, not frozen in time. This.. This isn't worth it. I'm sorry I love my brother I do, not that I'm not pissed off at him and would love to rip off a few limbs, it's the least he deserves. But I saw you throwing away a life for something I thought wasn't worth it. I love my Emmett, I would die for my Emmett, but if given the chance to be human again and live life the way it is meant to be lived... " Rosalie's voice went to a whisper, "I'd take it. I hope now you understand a little more of why I acted the way I did. But things have changed. I still feel that if you choose this you're choosing wrong, but at the same time. I heard what you've been through, at least what you've told us. And well we all know and have witnessed what a danger magnet you are." Rosalie gave Bella a small smirk. "I would understand more thoroughly, you need to be strong to defend yourself – physically I mean – I promise to try to accept your decision."

Bella gave Rosalie a small smile, she took a drink of vodka, and grabbed out another cigarette, lighting up before she spoke. "Thank you Rosalie, for telling me your story and explaining to me. I can understand your side of it, but would you mind if I told you my side, kind of a small rebuttal. Maybe it may help us both see a little more eye to eye." Rosalie gave her a smile and a nod. Bella took another swig from her bottle of vodka, and took a deep drag from her cigarette. "First off, I'm so very sorry for what you went through, and no Rosalie I won't pity you, you don't deserve pity. You are a very strong woman Rosalie, inside and out. But no woman deserves what happened to you. Secondly, your life before – the bastard – the things you wanted in life at eighteen, a house, a husband, and children; that all sounds like a fairy tale to me. Something that no one ever does anymore. It seems so odd hearing you talk about that, but you are right, it was a different time back then. Nowadays if someone wants to get married at eighteen, it's normally assumed it's because the girl is pregnant. Now I'm going to tell you of my life so far. I never really had a childhood, I grew up having to take care of everyone around me. I never really had a mom, I had a best friend. Renee never was a mom to me, she was too busy going from one hobby to another. She was erratic and flighty. She ran with me when I was only a few months old. Something even to this day I never understood. She married at eighteen had me at nineteen, but she never grew up. I remember one time I was 5, I got sick as kids do; she didn't comfort me, she made soup and stayed away. I had to take care of myself. She hated being sick, she didn't like how it made her look. She always said when she was sick she looked old. She had one boyfriend after another. Never a serious relationship, not until Phil. I was the adult in the house. I made sure bills were paid, there was food in the house. And by age eight I was the one doing the cooking. I went through a lot growing up. More than I want to talk about but save to say, I wasn't a child. I took care of Renee up until Phil came along. I also had it drilled in my head, men were just fun things to play with, marriage was something that should not enter my brain till I was at least thirty. I moved up here to be with my dad, so my mom could have time with her husband Phil. It was a whirlwind relationship and marriage. I worried she was getting married to fast. But when I saw them together I think Renee finally got it right. They are good together. Phil is good for her, she's finally starting to grow up. She always told me children were more hassle then they were worth. Like I said I never understood why she took me with her, when obviously she thought I was just a nuisance, something that was always in her way and preventing her from traveling the world and doing all the things she wanted to do. I thought when I moved in with Charlie things would be different. In some ways they were, but in some they were the same. Charlie never said I was a mistake. He took care of the bills, but I was the one who did the shopping, the cooking and the cleaning. Most days I felt I was more the live in maid rather than his daughter. Honestly Rosalie I'm tired, I've spent my whole life caring for everyone around me and doing what they wanted. I don't want a husband or children, I've done that, though not in the same manner. But it sure feels like it." Bella took a breath to calm herself then took another swig. "When you all left it broke me, and as much as He ripped my heart out and stomped on it, what hurt the most was he took my family with him. The only ones who actually treated me as a daughter. I had siblings, something I had never had before." Bella raised a brow and smirked at Rosalie. "Even the bitchy older sister. I didn't understand why you didn't like me, but I still thought of you as a sister. I loved all of you, I still do. You all left and yes it hurt, but I still thought of you as family. I still love you all. But this family was the first time I ever felt like I had family, I felt my age when around you, not a thirty year old mom and maid." Bella went quiet lost in her thoughts, Rosalie was the same. Bella smoked and took another drink. Rosalie looked up at Bella, and really looked at her. "Bella, it's eighty degrees out here, why the hoodie?" Bella smiled a weak smile. "I told you all my story of what has happened to me while you were gone, it's bad enough you had to hear it, you don't need it to be shoved in your faces. I have a lot of scars, Rosalie. I don't look all that pretty anymore." Bella looked down in her lap. Rosalie put a finger under Bella's chin lifting her head she waited till Bella met her eyes. "Bella, your scars, I may have not seen them yet, but it doesn't matter, I know what I'm talking about; your scars do not detract from your beauty. If anything they add to it. They show the world what you really are... A warrior. A brave beautiful warrior that has survived and is strong enough to keep going. You are tenacious, but caring. You are a very beautiful woman inside and out." Bella wasn't sure what to make of the compliment from Rosalie, but she gave her a genuine smile. "Thank you Rosalie." Rosalie returned the smile. "Oh, and Bella family calls me Rose, but you may call me Rosie. Now take off the hoodie before you give yourself heat stroke." Bella was nervous but she followed the order and removed the hoodie, wearing only a tank top underneath, the scars up and down her arms stood out against her pale skin. "There that's better, now be sure you hold your head up high, warriors don't bow their heads." Bella and Rosalie smiled at each other. "Oh and Rosie, just to let you know." Bella looked at the house than leaned forward towards Rose speaking at barely a whisper hoping the others wouldn't hear. "Just between us, but what you wanted for me, at least the children part. It would never happen. I have too much scar tissue, I can't have children." Bella gave Rose a small sad smile, while Rose looked at Bella slightly surprised. "I was a danger magnet long before I met your family Rosie, my moms choices in men weren't always the best. We'll leave it at that. Okay?" Rose gave Bella a sad smile, understanding perfectly. Both women stood to go back inside, Rose stopped and pulled Bella into a warm embrace. "Remember Bella, keep your head held high. You are a warrior." They smiled and Rose linked their arms together as they walked into the house.

Bella ran upstairs putting everything away, then went down to join the family. She decided to take Rose's advice, she held her head high and walked into the living room sitting next to Rose as they both watched Emmett play a video game. Emmett looked up and seeing them sitting together he realized they had made their peace, he beamed up at them both, then went back to playing. Bella and Rose sat there for a while watching Emmett. Bella was starting to feel more comfortable in her own skin. Emmett hadn't said a word about her scars. Esme came in letting Bella know she had made a small sandwich and a salad for lunch. Bella went to go eat, feeling even better that Esme didn't comment at all. Bella liked Rose's compliment of her being a warrior. She had never thought of it like that. Bella went into the kitchen sitting at the little island and ate her lunch. Once she was done she cleaned up after herself and then headed back to the living room to sit with Emmett and Rose. Alice came in and sat down in one of the chairs, looking over at Bella. "Bella, if you want I could help you find some nice blouses with long slee..." Alice was cut off by a low hiss from Rose, fallowed by chipmunk chatter that Bella couldn't follow; she figured Rose was giving her an earful. Alice made a face and went quiet not attempting to argue with Rose. After a few minutes Alice spoke up again. "Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. But we should go shopping soon. I know you could use some more clothes." Bella wrinkled her nose. "Alice I appreciate the offer, but I have enough clothes. I really hate shopping, so thanks but no thanks." Alice looked a little put out but Rose smiled at Bella. Rose was really warming up to Bella now that she was showing a backbone. Rose just could never understand how and why she had let Alice and Edward push her around, even when she didn't want to go along with what they wanted she just bowed her head and went along with it. Rose was happy to see Bella sticking up for herself and not going along with what everyone else wanted her to do. They sat in silence watching Emmett play video games, Emmett tried to get Bella to join but she wasn't really in the mood at the moment, so she promised him she would later. She was content just to sit and watch surrounded by her family that she had missed so much. The hole in her heart was closing up and the pain of abandonment was slowly beginning to fade. Soon she would feel whole again.

Bella was lost in her thoughts when she heard the door open, she looked over as Carlisle and Jasper walked in. Everyone stopped at that moment and turned to look at Carlisle awaiting the news of how the meeting had gone. Carlisle motioned to them all as he spoke. "Family meeting." Everyone got up and went to the dining room table taking the same seats as they had earlier that morning. Carlisle stood addressing the family. "The meeting with the wolves went well. We are going to be helping them with patrols around Forks. During the day the wolves have the patrols and we will take over at night. We will continue to protect Forks as well as Charlie till Victoria is dealt with. We did not tell the wolves that Bella is still here." Carlisle looked over at Bella. "It is not our place to divulge that information. Now I spoke with Sam at great length, it seems that our presence here in Forks is what triggers the wolf gene. He has asked that once the threat of Victoria is over if we could leave Forks, and not return as a permanent residence. Our presence here causes them a great deal of distress. I have not given him my final answer as of yet. I told him it would be something I would discuss with all of you but I didn't see it as a problem for us to help out anyway we could to alleviate their suffering. My thoughts is once Victoria is dealt with and there is no more threat here in Forks, we move, 'All of Us' and the Cullen's will no longer use Forks as a permanent residence." Carlisle and Jasper both watched Bella closely, knowing how she would assume that once again the family would leave her behind. But this time it would not happen. Jasper could feel her emotions spiraling downward till they just stopped. Her outward appearance was stoic, but they knew better with her. Carlisle unnecessarily cleared his throat, gaining every one's attention once more. "I have something in my office that I must retrieve, please excuse me for one moment." Bella had time to blink once and he was back standing next to her chair. "Bella, I had planned on giving this to you sooner. But circumstances and bad decisions put it off for a bit longer than what I would have liked. I am going to right that wrong now." With that Carlisle held up what he had been holding in his hand, it was a beautiful choker with the Cullen Crest in the center on either side of the Cullen Crest were crushed diamonds and emeralds that glittered in the light. Carlisle motioned for Bella to stand, once she stood before him he motioned for her to turn around. Bella turned and lifted her hair allowing Carlisle to place the choker on her neck. Once it was placed around her neck Carlisle turned her to face him and wrapped his arms around her embracing her in a fatherly hug. "You are one of us Bella, we will not leave with out you. Where we go you will go. Know that, when I say the Cullen's I am including you as one of us. You are an official member of the Cullen's Family." Bella nodded as tears filled her eyes not trusting her voice she didn't speak, but her face showed her emotions well and her words were not needed, everyone there could see her love and acceptance, as well as how much it meant to her to be apart of the Family. Carlisle moved back to his spot at the head of the table while Bella took her seat absentmindedly fingering the choker around her neck. "Now that that is done, I would like to hear your thoughts on the matter of us moving and not returning to Forks." Carlisle took his seat and waited. Esme stood up next. "As much as I love this house, the fact that our presence poses such a hardship for the Quiluetes, I vote for moving and not returning." Esme took her seat. Rosalie stood next, "I agree with Esme and Carlisle." As Rosalie sat back down Emmett stood. "I'll miss the hunting but maybe we could find a place some where around Mount Rainier. Some where close but not too close. I would hate to stay here knowing our presence is hurting others." He took his seat, while Alice stood next. "We will move and we may come back occasionally to visit, but we will no longer have a permanent residence here. I think only one or two of us may visit on occasion I'm not positive. My visions are now cloudy which means we are in more danger now with the uncertainty of the future. I cannot see when Victoria will strike. We will have to do more to be prepared and we will need to be very vigilant." Alice took her seat as the others nodded. Jasper stood looking at the family. "First off majority rules so the matter of moving and not returning here as a permanent residence has been voted and is as it seems a unanimous decision. Now onto the more important matter at hand. I will remain here at night to protect Bella, while the rest of you will run patrols. During the day the wolves will take over the patrols and I will take you in groups to practice our fighting skills. While I train with one group the other stays close to Bella. She will never be left alone, one or more of us will be near her at all times. The treaty line will be removed while we hunt Victoria, that way if we are giving chase she will not be able to get away by dancing along the treaty line. If she attempts to cross then we join forces with the wolves to take her down. Alice I want you to go hunt and try to see what she is up to, it may be easier for you if you are not so close to Bella. Emmett I want you to go look for Victoria's scent and see if you are able to track her. We will meet back here at nightfall to begin our patrol of Forks." Jasper sat down but by the tone it seemed as though everyone were dismissed. Carlisle let out a chuckle before stating "Meeting adjourned." As everyone stood to go off to their own devices or in Alice and Emmett's case to follow orders, they all froze. Bella held a breath as she witnessed the Cullens freeze. She watched and waited to hear what was going on. It wasn't too long before she heard the knock at the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** I'm so sorry this took so long to get posted. I had some rl come up as well as this chapter was harder to write then the previous ones. Hopefully it came out okay. Read and review and I will do my best to get the fallowing chapters up a little quicker than this one.

Chapter 6

Jasper turned to Bella, "One of the wolves are here. Judging by his emotions I'm going to guess that it is Jacob. He knows you're here, he can smell your scent as well as hear your heartbeat." Bella gave Jasper a nod, then stood squaring her shoulders. "Carlisle, Jasper, with me the rest of you stay here." She turned and headed to the door but heard Emmett clearly, "Did she just give orders to Carlisle and Jasper?" as well as Rosalie's response, "Yes, yes she did and us too. And what's more is we all listened." Bella could hear the smirk in Rose's tone and had to hide her own as well as her amusement from Jasper. Bella looked at Carlisle and Jasper for a brief moment before opening the door to a fuming and hurt Jacob. Bella stood stoic in front of Jacob waiting for his rant to start. But as soon as his eyes took in her appearance he immediately deflated. He looked like the little boy she had known and loved as a brother. "Hey Jacob." Jacob spluttered for a moment, "What? …. Why?... How?... I... " Jacob shook his head trying to clear his mind and get his thoughts in order. "Okay, well … uh. First I think we need to get Bella a seat, she's going to need to sit down for this. Do you mind? Uh.. May I come in please?" Bella's brow creased, what could be so bad that he's willing to come into the Vampires den? Realization hit her. "Charlie." The name was whispered barely a sound on her breath as it passed her lips. Jacob looked deep into her eyes and she could see the pain in his. She knew what he was going to say before he said it. She felt the wind around her and suddenly found herself on a couch. Jasper sat on one side of her and Carlisle on her other side while Jacob kneeled in front of her. Jacob grabbed her hands holding them in his large one. The heat from his hand nearly burning her flesh. The tears welled in her eyes as she searched Jacob's face hoping beyond hope that she was wrong. His face told the story. The words escaped her lips as the tears spilled from her eyes. "I didn't save him. I left to save him. I lured her here to save him and it didn't work. I failed. I failed at keeping him safe." She looked into Jacob's eyes. "Victoria got Charlie, didn't she? I came here, lured her here, sacrificed myself for him and you. I was trying to keep you all safe from her. I let her hurt me to keep you all safe and I failed. I hurt him by leaving, and it was all for nothing. She still got to him." The sobs took over wracking her frail form. Jasper wrapped his arms around her letting her get it all out. He didn't attempt to take away the pain. He knew this was something she would have to cope with on her own. Jacob had tears of his own blinding his vision but he blinked them away. He gave Bella's hands a soft squeeze. "No Bella, we failed. We had been trying to protect him. We failed him and you. The pack feels his loss. He was a second father to a lot of us and to others he was the father figure they never had. He was a good man. We all looked up to him. There were two wolves around him at all times. But she was sneaky and fast. The pack is tracking her now, trying to end her." As Jacob spoke to Bella, Jasper told Emmett and Rose to go help the pack track her and Alice to go hunt and try to see what she could. Esme ran up the stairs to Bella's room grabbing the things Bella had been using as a life line. When she got downstairs she slowly approached, knowing the young wolf must be so very uncomfortable in their presence she didn't want to make it worse. She placed the items on the table next to where Jacob kneeled on the floor, giving Bella a knowing and approving look. Bella looked up at Esme giving her a watery but thankful smile. Esme went to the kitchen finding things to do to keep her busy not wanting to make Jacob feel crowded.

Bella grabbed the vodka and took a swig. She wanted to be numb, to not feel her pain and failure. She took two more swigs before putting the cap on and replacing it on the table. Jacob watched her closely. She had changed so much in such a short time, and it was more than just appearance. Her scars were not just on the outside. He could see that. Jacob knew Bella well, had known her almost his whole life. He knew her well enough and put what he knew of her with the little she had said he was able to easily piece together what she had done. The horror of what she had put herself through. One of the tears he had tried to blink away escaped and made its way down his cheek. Bella lifted her hand and gently wiped away his tear. They sat there quietly remembering the man that had been so much a part of them; his quiet manner, his strength and honor. Bella reached and grabbed a cigarette, holding it in her hand, playing with it absentmindedly. She looked up at Jacob, "No Jacob, I'm indebted to the pack for trying to protect Charlie. I know you did the best you could. Please tell them I appreciate their efforts and I understand at what the cost could have been. You all put your lives on the line to protect me from Laurent and then trying to protect Charlie from Victoria. I will be forever grateful for your sacrifice." Tears rolled down Bella's cheeks as she spoke. They all went quiet each in their own thoughts. Only to be interrupted by the ringing of Bella's cell phone. Jasper ran to grab it and gave it to Bella before the second ring finished. Bella answered it, as the memory of the last time it rang played out in her head. The last time it had been Charlie, this time she knew it wasn't Charlie. It would never be Charlie again. "Hello?" Everyone could hear both ends of the conversation. "Miss Swan? Isabella Swan?" More tears flowed from her eyes, "Yes, this is she." The voice sounded hard but yet broken. She knew it was Mark one of the deputies that Charlie worked with. He had been over for dinner with his wife a few times. He had looked up to Charlie. "I'm sorry to have to give you this news Bella, but Charlie, your dad he was in an auto accident. I'm very sorry to say, he didn't make it. On behalf of the department and the whole of Forks I offer you our condolences." Bella's voice broke through her tears. "Thank you Mark. I'll be there as soon as I can. I'll try to catch the next plane out. I'll call when I get into town. " Mark again offered his condolences before he rang off. Bella put her cell phone down and looked up at the group that surrounded her. Her family, about the only family she had left other than Renee. Bella held her cigarette like a lifeline the tears streaming down her face. Carlisle moved slightly, and when Bella looked over at him he held up a zippo and flicked it to life. Bella lit her cigarette and inhaled deeply "Thank you Carlisle. I know the smell is overwhelming and not at all pleasant for you." Carlisle gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "At a time like this, it's the least of our worries." Bella nodded her thanks. Jacob patted her knee before standing. "I have to get back to the res. The others didn't know I came here. I'll come back when I can. I'm here for you Bella. The pack is your family too, don't forget us." Bella nodded "See ya Jake." Jacob made his way out the door phasing as soon as he hit the driveway and running through the trees headed for the res.

With Alice's help Bella was able to pinpoint an accurate time for when she was supposed to arrive in town then called Mark. The days past in a blur as everyone helped her make the arrangements for Charlie's funeral. Charlie had actually had everything planned out in his will which made it all a lot easier for Bella. The only thing that really upset Bella was the fact that because Phil was playing ball in an away game and couldn't get out of the lineup Renee chose to stay with him rather than coming to support Bella during the funeral. For the first time ever Bella told off Renee and severed ties with her. Renee was too busy being a wife to a ball player and enjoying a little fame as the team hadn't lost a game so far this season. The Major League scouts were out looking over the talent and Renee and Phil had their fingers crossed. Renee was too busy attending parties and being seen to bother with coming to Forks. Jasper held Bella throughout the night while she cried, he felt her pain of abandonment as it tore through her soul. The next morning Esme and the rest of the family made sure Bella knew she was now and forever a part of their family. They constantly reassured her of her place in the family and made sure she understood that she would never be left behind again. The day of the funeral came and all of Forks as well as the Reservation showed up in attendance. They held the reception that fallowed the service in the gym at the high school, it being the only place big enough to hold all the people and even then there were many who spilled outside the gym. The town had literally stopped to mourn the Chief of Police that so many had known and cared for. He was such an iconic figure in the community. Not only in the town of Forks but also on the reservation. Bella was touched deeply by all the stories she heard of how Charlie helped out in the communities. The hardest part came a few days after the funeral when Bella went to Charlies and began packing everything up donating most of the furnishings and clothing to Good Will. All of the Cullens stayed close to Bella, helping her in any way they could. Supporting her through all of the tough decisions. They were there for her to lean on when it felt as though the world was falling away from beneath her feet. They never once let her fall but held her through it, they loved and cared for her as she went through her darkest of times. She was so very grateful to all of them but especially to Jasper. He let her feel the emotions she needed to feel not once trying to manipulate them. He would send her courage and comfort and let her feel his pride in her. He would let her in as he let her feel what he felt for her, letting that comfort her as well as his arms around her, but he never tried to take away what she was feeling. He knew she needed to feel those emotions in order to heal. He knew she would never get over her dad's death but eventually she would be able to move past it, and remember the man he was and all the good times. The days turned to weeks and soon July was fading to August. They still remained vigilant watching for Victoria. Patrolling Forks to keep the rest of the community safe.

It was sometime in the beginning of August, or at least Bella thought it was August. She had been in a daze ever since Charlie had passed. Jasper had been a constant shadow never letting her out of his sight unless he had to hunt then Rose took over. The other Cullens hovered as well. They all wanted to help but was unsure how to make it better. But they also knew there was really nothing they could do. Bella felt so much guilt blaming herself for Charlie's death. Victoria had at least been quick, she hadn't tortured him, which Bella was grateful for. Paul was one of the wolves protecting Charlie and he had been hurt badly trying to protect him. Bella was glad that Paul had been able to heal as quickly as he did, and forever grateful that he had tried to protect Charlie with his own life. Bella now sat at the table outside in the backyard smoking her cigarette, Jasper wasn't too far away, standing slightly behind her but also trying to give her the space he could tell she needed. She was still going through a lot and still had some decisions to make. The biggest one was what to do with the house. Charlie had left her everything. The humans thought he was killed in the line of duty so she was now getting Charlie's Pension every month from the police department. It wasn't a big amount but it was sufficient to take care of her. Though the Cullens had seen to it that she was well taken care of and didn't want for anything so the money from the pension just ended up in her savings. She was thinking of selling the house, though the thought of selling Charlie's house was painful she knew she couldn't keep it. Once Victoria was dealt with they would be moving; she would have to be turned as the law claimed her, and she wouldn't be able to come back here. They had given their word that they would leave Forks and not return to ease the burden of the shapeshifters in La Push. Bella sighed as she snuffed out her cigarette and plucked another from the pack. First she had to awaken from her daze. She couldn't mourn Charlie forever, she loved her daddy but he wouldn't want her going into a zombie mode. She needed to get pro-active, she couldn't just sit around and wait for Victoria to strike; the waiting was driving her insane. She had decisions and plans to make. She would have to push the numbness away, she needed to roar and rampage and then avenge Charlie. She needed to get angry. Anything would be better than this numbing zombie state.

Bella sat and mentally shook herself out of her reverie. Mentally chastising herself for being a zombie for so long. She had to take action. There were still others that were in danger due to Victoria's revenge. Jasper moved closer as he felt her emotions change from close to nothingness to anger and once again she was calculating. He did not like it when her emotions told of her planning it was never a good thing for her. He wished he could hear what was going on in that head of hers. Bella finished her cigarette then snuffed it out in the ashtray finally taking stock of her surroundings she saw the bottle in front of her and opened the cap taking a few quick drinks from the bottle before capping it. She knew what had to be done. She grabbed her things from the table and made her way inside, going to her room to put the stuff away. She turned and noticed Jasper standing in the door way. She squared her shoulders and looked up at him. The beauty of vampires always took her breath away, but looking at Jasper there was something a little more to him, it wasn't just the unnatural beauty of vampires there was a ruggedness about him, even as a human Bella had no doubt that he had been very good looking. She mentally shook herself again against the dazzling that vampires do though not always was it their intent. "Jasper, where is everyone?" Jasper gave her a quizzical look before responding. "Carlisle and Esme are hunting and the rest are here with us. Emmett's playing a video game and Rose and Alice are shopping online in Rose's room." Bella nods at Jasper. "How long till Carlisle and Esme are back?" At that Alice appeared next to Jasper. "They'll be home in ten minutes Bella." Bella gave a chuckle at Alice and nodded. "Okay, I think I'll go join Emmett till they return." Jasper gave Bella a wink and a chuckle, "What? You don't want to shop with Rose and Alice?" Both laughed as they saw the look of horror cross Bella's face as she shuddered then gave Alice a smirk, "I'd rather face Victoria than shop with Alice." Alice gave a small growl and a disapproving look, "Not funny Bella." Below they heard Emmett let out a roar of laughter as he hollered up for the human to hear. "Good one Bella!" Bella and Jasper chuckled as Alice gave them a disgruntled look and Bella made her way downstairs. Once downstairs she flopped on the couch next to Emmett and watched as he played Darkwatch on the PlayStation 2. Bella watched him for a few minutes. "What is this game?" Emmett gave her a sly smile, "It's Darkwatch." As Bella raised an eyebrow Emmett went on to explain the game. "So basically I'm a newly turned vampire and I'm hunting down the one responsible for my transformation before I lose that last vestiges of my humanity." Bella shook her head and laughed at Emmett. "Only you Emmett." Bella sat back and watched as Emmett played the game. A few minutes later Bella looked over at Emmett her face intensely serious. "Emmett have you spoken to Carlisle about these intense feelings you are having? Obviously your choice in games leads me to believe that you are having some very strong feelings about being changed into a vampire. I had always thought you were the one most accepting to this life. I never realized your psyche was damaged as much as Edwards. You may want to look into seeking some professional help there brother bear." Emmett looked over at Bella his jaw dropped as did the controller he was holding in his hand. Emmett spluttered for a moment before Bella could no longer contain herself and the laughter flowed freely, she had to hold her stomach and almost fell off the sofa she was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down her face and she couldn't catch her breath. Jasper had joined in immediately after her, peals of laughter was also heard from the room upstairs. The girls heard every word and were rolling with laughter. Emmett gave Bella his trademark pout; until Jasper shot him with a dose of humor to have him laughing with everyone else. Jasper started pulling back the humor and replacing it with calm to try and aid Bella's breathing. Once everyone had calmed down Jasper spoke up, "Good one Bella. You are one of the few to be able to shock Emmett in to speechlessness, well done." Bella gave Jasper a grin but everyone started laughing once again with Emmett's, "Damn it Bella you made me die."

It wasn't long after that when Carlisle and Esme came back from hunting. It wasn't too long after that Bella noticed they had all loosely gathered in the living room and as much as she may have wanted to procrastinate and put off what needed done she also knew with her zombie state time was now of the essence. As Bella stood all eyes seemed to be on her. She took a deep breath, "Family meeting." A few looked at her quizzically. Carlisle seemed to be a little taken aback by her words, but everyone went to the dining room and took their seats. Bella remained standing behind her chair, she took a breath and centered herself as she tried to get her brain to focus on the task at hand. "First off I just want to say I'm sorry for being so …. distant. But I promise I won't go back to that I don't have time for it. Time is of the essence. Victoria attacked Charlie because she couldn't get to me. There's two things she could do, she could go after Renee and Phil or she could come after us. I can't chance Renee and Phil I need to know they are safe. Now when she comes after us she knows you are all here. She's going to need help. She won't come up against us on her own. We need to keep an eye out. I think she'll focus on getting help and coming after us. I don't think Renee or Phil are in danger. But like I said I can't risk that. I'm not sure how to protect everyone all of us, the pack, my mom, and Phil. I'm just a human. But understand what ever is decided I will be helping. I might be a lowly human but I can still help in some way. " Bella was interrupted by loud growls and roars in the small room. Carlisle stood looking at Bella he growled out, "You have never been a lowly human." It took him a minute to calm himself even with Jasper's influence. Bella took her seat as Carlisle remained standing. "You do however have a point. We can't just sit around and wait for Victoria. We need to know what she is planning. We will do some scouting to find out where she is, and hopefully learn what she is planning. Jasper, Emmett I'll need you two with me. Rosalie, I want you to sniff around the area here and see what you can pick up if anything. Alice try and look for her and see if she's making any decisions. When we have more information we will convene again. Bella we will keep you in on what is going on. You will be a part of this. We won't make decisions for you, you will be heard. I'm honestly surprised that one of us had not thought of this sooner. You are right time is of the essence. We are all here with you, we will protect you and all those you care about." Everyone stood and went to fallow the orders. Bella approached Esme. "I'll need your help with something as well. I'm going to have to figure out what to do with Charlies house. I haven't quite decided just yet, but I know it's something that will have to be dealt with. " Esme wrapped her arms around Bella hugging her close. "Of course I'll help you my daughter. Just let me know when you are ready dear and not before. You haven't grieved your father yet, you just blocked it all out. You need to deal with your grief and mourn him. We will be here with you and for you as you go through it." Bella had tears in her eyes as she hugged Esme. "Thank you."

The next few days were filled with activity, Jasper started to train the others during the day again and the others patrolled at night. After Charlie's passing the training had halted, Jasper didn't want Bella out of his sight with her emotions being blocked off completely even to herself; but now that she is back in control of herself and not out of it as she was, things had gone back to as they were. Jasper also kept tabs on the world around him, Bella stating that Victoria would need help, weighed heavily on his mind. He didn't think she would have many friends to call upon and he was worried what she may try for help. He saw two options she could do it the lawful way and go to the Volturi or she could go against their laws and create an army. At night while Bella slept he brought out a lap top and went through the news article for the surrounding cities. Paying more attention to Seattle, due to the sheer size. He saw the crime rate go up as there were so many going missing and being found dead. He knew what he was looking at she was creating an army. He decided that when Bella awoke and after she had done what she needed to which she called her human moments as well as breakfast he would have to call a family meeting though this one would be longer than their usual, he felt the living room might be a little more comfortable for her than the dining room table. He knew she would be a little disappointed her and Esme had been making quite good headway on Charlies house getting it packed up and cleaned up to put up for sale. Jasper sat and watched her sleep. He had begun lightening up on the emotional climate for her letting her have her dreams, they helped her work through a lot. He only stepped in when necessary. He had also noticed something else with her dreams. They had spoken quite a bit about what her dreams had been in the past, and what they showed her. In some ways her dreams almost took on a quality to Alice's visions just slightly different. They didn't actually show her the future but they gave her insight to things that her normal human mind couldn't or wouldn't make the connection to. It was in her dreams that she realized the Cullens were Vampires and it was a dream that showed her what Jacob and the Quileute's nature was. Her dreams showed her quite a lot. He wondered and not for the first time what gift she may possess as a vampire. One thought scared him above all else and that was there was a possibility she may possess more than just one gift. If that were the case they would have to hide her from the Volturi. Aro would want her, he loved collecting the gifted. He had wanted Alice and Edward. Had it not been for Alice and the Cullens Jasper had no doubt that he wouldn't be here he would be serving under Aro. Aro not only wanted him for his gift but also for his training and his reputation. Jasper huffed in indignation, he always hated his title, being the God of War would always mean a fight. Though the past 6 decades it hadn't been as bad or as often but he still had ones that thought taking out the God of War was the niche on their belt that they needed. Aro didn't want to fight him no he wanted to control him. Jasper shook his head dispelling the thoughts that were raging in his mind. He looked over Bella's frail frame, he had told her she was worth it, and she was and now more than ever. She was special and she always had been. It was why he let his demon out to take out James. And now he was willing to give into the dark side once more and take on an army of newborns. He thought of his brother and sister, the two that shared his venom. He wanted to ask for their help. They were both fierce fighters, but at the same time he wanted to save them from having to see that and live through that again. The sun had begun to rise, Bella would wake in just a few short hours. He began to go over in his mind how to negotiate through this family meeting. He began to strategize in his mind how to protect Bella and fight a newborn army all at the same time. His phone buzzed in his pocket, he pulled it out to see who texted him. A smile spread across his lips as he read the text. 'On our way we'll be there by this evening. We know you wouldn't have asked but that's what family is for. See you soon Major.' ~ Captain. Jasper chuckled for a sec before responding with 'See you soon' Jasper shoved the phone back in his pocket. He sat back and enjoyed the tranquility of the sleeping beauty before him.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:** The words in ~ _Italics~_ belong solely to Stephanie Meyers from Eclipse Ch. 13 Twilight and all its characters belong to Stephanie Meyers I just like to make them dance once in a while. Hope you all enjoy and remember read and review.

Chapter 7

At around seven in the morning Bella began to slowly waken. She yawned stretched and turned to look at Jasper. Gazing into his eyes. This had to be her favorite time of the day and waking to see Jasper sitting there as they gazed into each other's eyes was her main reason why this was her favorite time of the day. She gave him a small smile that he returned before standing to head downstairs and wait. "Tend to your human moment, Esme is getting your breakfast. I'll see you downstairs." Bella gave him a smile and a nod before getting out of bed. As Jasper left her to her human moment Bella headed to the bathroom to shower and dress for the day. Standing in the shower Bella couldn't help but compare Jasper and Edward. Edward had always treated her like a child, never explaining anything, but always expecting her to follow his rules. He told her how to dress, what to eat, even when to sleep. As she stood there under the spray of the shower she realized something. Every time she went against his wishes he would dazzle her into submitting to him. She was never allowed to grow and make her own decisions. Jasper was the complete opposite. He told her everything and listened to her ideas. Jasper let her be her own person. He still hovered and was protective, but he didn't tell her what to do unless it came to her safety. Bella stood under the spray of the shower as she thought. She couldn't quite understand what was going on with Jasper. Why was he so protective of her and always hovering? She knew he wasn't with Alice anymore, though she had wondered what had happened between them; her main worry was the catastrophe that was her birthday may have been what had finally broken the connection between the two. Her mind just couldn't wrap around it. Mates couldn't leave each other and she could have sworn she had been told that they were mates. Bella shook her head dispelling the thoughts that surrounded her. It wasn't the time to dwell on things of that nature. She finished her shower, dried herself off and dressed in her shorts and tank top. She headed downstairs to eat the breakfast Esme had made for her. Once she was done eating and had cleaned up after herself she made her way to the living room sitting in her favorite chair and watched the others around her. Jasper took a seat on the floor next to her.

Jasper seeing that all of them were gathered loosely in the living room decided that it was time for him to tell Bella his story. It wasn't something he enjoyed telling but this time it was even harder he wasn't sure exactly how she would take it or if it would change the way she felt about him. He would've made it a family meeting and they all sit in the dining room but he had a feeling this may take a little longer than he wanted and he thought she would be more comfortable sitting in the living room than at the dining room table. He knew his story would be hard for her to hear just as Rose's story was. He stood and ran upstairs grabbing what she would need and ran back to her placing them on the table next to her. She looked up at him, letting him feel her curiosity as well as her worry. He cleared his throat mainly to get the attention of everyone in the room. Emmett noticing the things Jasper had brought down for Bella knew that this would be akin to a family meeting and hurriedly saved his game before shutting it off as well as the t.v. Jasper looked over at everyone before looking at Bella. "How much have you been told about me, Bella?" Bella looked at him. "Not much actually, just that you had a different upbringing than the others." Jasper nodded and pushed up the sleeves of his shirt, taking Bella's hand, he ran her fingers over his arm. She looked up at him knowingly. "I have seen your scars Jasper, I just never asked as I didn't feel it was my place. If it was something you wanted me to know than you would tell me. " She gave Jasper's arm a reassuring squeeze, making sure he knew she didn't feel anything other than her admiration. Jasper gave her a nod and a slight smirk. "You always were too perceptive for your own good." Bella smiled softly as the others chuckled. ~ _"Our venom is the only thing that leaves a scar. There are places in our world, Bella, where the lifespan of the never aging is measured in weeks, and not centuries. To really understand why, you have to look at the world from a different perspective. You have to imagine the way it looks to the powerful, the greedy . . . the perpetually thirsty. You see, there are places in this world that are more desirable to us than others. Places where we can be less restrained, and still avoid detection. Picture, for instance, a map of the western hemisphere. Picture on it every human life as a small red dot. The thicker the red, the more easily we – well, those who exist this way – can feed without attracting notice. Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not. It's the Volturi that keep them in check. They are the only ones the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be quickly exposed. The North is by comparison, very civilized. Mostly we are nomads here who enjoy the day as well as the night, who allow humans to interact with us unsuspectingly – anonymity is important to us all. It's a different world in the South. The immortals there come out only at night. They spend the day plotting their next move, or anticipating their enemy's. Because it has been war in the South, constant war for centuries, with never one moment of truce. The covens there barely note the existence of humans, except as soldiers notice a herd of cows by the wayside – food for the taking. They only hide from the notice of the herd because of the Volturi. They fight for control of the thickest red on the map. You see, it occurred to someone once that, if he were the only vampire in, let's say Mexico City, well then, he could feed every night, twice, three times, and no one would ever notice. He plotted ways to get rid of the competition. Others had the same idea. Some came up with more effective tactics than others. But the most effective tactic was invented by a fairly you vampire named Benito. The first anyone ever heard of him, he came down from somewhere north of Dallas and massacred the two small covens that shared the area near Houston, two nights later, he took on the much stronger clan of allies that claimed Monterrey in northern Mexico. Again, he won. Benito created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile and almost impossible to control. One newborn can be reasoned with, taught to restrain himself, but ten, fifteen together are a nightmare. They'll turn on each other as easily as on the enemy you point them at. Benito had to keep making more as they fought amongst themselves, and as the covens he decimated took more than half his force down before they lost. You see, though the newborns are dangerous, they are still possible to defeat if you know what you're doing. They're incredibly powerful physically, for the first year or so, and if they're allowed to bring strength to bear they can crush an older vampire with ease. But they are slaves to their own instincts, and thus predictable. Usually, they have no skill in fighting, only muscle and ferocity. And in this case, overwhelming numbers._

 _"The vampires in southern Mexico realized what was coming for them, and they did the only thing they could think of to counteract Benito. They made armies of their own . . . . All hell broke loose – and I mean that more literally than you can possibly imagine. We immortals have our histories too, and this particular war will never be forgotten. Of course, it was not a good time to be human in Mexico, either. When the body count reached epidemic proportions – in fact, your histories blame a disease for the population slump – the Volturi finally stepped in. The entire guard came together and sought out every newborn in the bottom half of North America. Benito was entrenched in Puebla, building his army as quickly as he could in order to take on the prize, Mexico City. The Volturi were cleaning house for almost a year. This was another chapter of our history that will always be remembered, though there were very few witnesses left to speak of what it was like. I spoke to someone once who had, from a distance, watched what happened when they visited Culiacan. It was enough that the fever for conquest did not spread from the South. The rest of the world stayed sane. We owe the Volturi for our present way of life. But when the Volturi went back to Italy, the survivors were quick to stake their claims in the South. It didn't take long before covens began to dispute again, there was a lot of bad blood, if you'll forgive the expression. Vendetta's abounded. The idea of newborns was already there, and some were not able to resist. However, the Volturi had not been forgotten, and the southern covens were more careful this time. The newborns were selected from the human pool with more care, and given more training. They were used circumspectly, and the humans remained, for the most part, oblivious. Their creators gave the Volturi no reason to return. The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return and clean out the city. But they let the careful ones continue. . . ._

 _"When I was human, I lived in Houston, Texas. I was almost seventeen years old when I joined the Confederate Army in 1861. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was twenty. I was tall enough to get away with it. My military career was short lived, but very promising. People always . . . liked me, listened to what I had to say. My father said it was charisma. Of course, now I know it was probably something more. But, whatever the reason, I was promoted quickly through the ranks, over older, more experienced men. The Confederate Army was new and scrambling to organize itself, so that provided opportunities, as well. By the first battle of Galveston – well, it was more a skirmish, really – I was the youngest Major in Texas, not even acknowledging my real age. I was placed in charge of evacuating the women and children from the city when the Union's mortar boats reached the harbor. It took a day to prepare them, and then I left with the first column of civilians to convey them to Houston. I remember that night very clearly. We reached the city after dark. I stayed only long enough to make sure the entire party was safely situated. As soon as that was done, I got myself a fresh horse, and I headed back to Galveston. There wasn't time to rest. Just a mile outside the city, I found three women on foot, I assumed they were stragglers and I dismounted at once to offer them my aid. But, when I could see their faces in the dim light of the moon, I was stunned into silence, they were without question, the three most beautiful women I had ever seen. They had such pale skin, I remember marveling at it. Even the little black-haired girl, whose features were clearly Mexican, was porcelain in the moonlight. The seemed young, all of them, still young enough to be called girls. I knew they were not lost members of our party. I would have remembered seeing these three. 'He's speechless,' the tallest girl said in a lovely, delicate voice – it was like wind chimes. She had fair hair, and her skin was snow white._

 _"The other was blonder still, her skin just as chalky. Her face was like an angel's. She leaned toward me with half closed eyes and inhaled deeply. 'mmm,' she sighed. 'Lovely.' The small one, the tiny brunette, put her hand on the girl's arm and spoke quickly. Her voice was to soft and musical to be sharp, but that seemed to be the way she intended it. My hair was standing up on the back of my beck, though I didn't understand the meaning of anything the beautiful creatures were saying, my instincts told me that there was danger, but my judgement overruled my instincts. I had been taught not to fear women, but to protect them. The other two took off so fast – their white dresses blew out behind them like wings. I blinked in amazement, and they were gone. I'd never been superstitious in my life. Until that second, I'd never believed in ghosts or any other such nonsense. Suddenly, I was unsure. 'What's your name soldier?' Maria asked me. 'Major Jasper Whitlock, Ma'am.' I stammered, unable to be impolite to a female. 'I truly hope you survive, Jasper.' She said in her gentle voice. 'I have a good feeling about you.' She took a step closer, and inclined her head as if she were going to kiss me. I stood frozen in place, thou my instincts were screaming at me to run. A few days later, I was introduced to my new life. Their names were Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They hadn't been together long – Maria had rounded up the other two – all three were survivors of recently lost battles. Thiers was a partnership if convenience. Maria wanted revenge, and she wanted her territories back. The others were eager to increase their . . . herd lands, I suppose you could say. They were putting together an army, and going about it more carefully than was usual. I t was Maria's idea. She wanted a superior army, so she sought out specific humans who had potential. Then she gave us much more attention, more training than anyone else had bothered with. She taught us how to fight, and she taught us to be invisible to the humans. When we did well, we were rewarded . . . She was in a hurry, though. Maria knew that the massive strength of the newborn began to wane around the year mark, and she wanted to act while we were strong. There were six of us when I joined Maria's band. She added four more within a fortnight. We were all male – Maria wanted soldiers – and that made it slightly more difficult to keep from fighting amongst ourselves. Maria was a good judge of character. She decided to put me in charge of the others – as if I were being promoted. It suited my nature exactly. Our numbers swelled to hover around twenty. This was considerable for the cautious time we live in. My ability as yet defined, to control the emotional atmosphere around me was vitally effective. We soon began to work together in a way that newborn vampires had never cooperated before. Even Maria, Nettie, and Lucy were able to work together more easily. Maria grew quite fond of me – she began to depend on me. And, in some ways I worshiped the ground she walked on. I had no idea that any other life was possible. Maria told us this was the way things were, and we believed. The fighting was intense, many began to worry that the Volturi was going to return. Of the original twenty-three, I was the only one to survive the first eighteen months. We both won and lost. Nettie and Lucy turned on Maria eventually – but that one we won. It quieted down and was mostly vengeance and feuding, Maria and I always kept a dozen or so newborns ready. They meant little to us – they were pawns, they were disposable. When they did outgrow their usefulness, we did dispose of them. My life continued in the same violent pattern and the years passed. I was sick of it all for a very long time before anything changed . . . . Decades later, I developed a friendship with a newborn who'd remained useful and survived his first three years, against the odds. His name was Peter. I liked Peter; he was . . . civilized – I suppose that's the right word. He didn't enjoy the fight, though he was good at it. He was assigned to deal with the newborns – babysit them, you could say. It was a full-time job. And then it was time to purge again. The newborns were outgrowing their strength; they were due to be replaced. Peter was supposed to help me dispose of them. We took them aside individually, you see, one by one . . . . It was always a very long night. This time, he tried to convince me that a few had potential, but Maria had instructed that we get rid of them all. I told him no. We were about halfway through, and I could feel that it was taking a great toll on Peter. I was trying to decide whether or not I should send him away and finish up myself as I call out the next victim. To my surprise, he was suddenly angry, furious. I braced for whatever his mood might foreshadow – he was a good fighter, though never a match for me._

 _"The newborn I'd summoned was a female, just past her year mark. Her name was Charlotte. His feelings changed when she came into view; they gave him away. He yelled for her to run, and he bolted after her. I could have pursued them, but I didn't. I felt . . . . . averse to destroying him. Maria was irritated with me for that . . . Five years later, Peter snuck back for me. He picked a good day to arrive, Maris was mystified by my ever-deteriorating frame of mind. She'd never felt a moment's depression, and I wondered why I was different. I began to notice a change in her emotions when she was near me – sometimes there was fear . . . . and malice – the same feeling that had given me advance warning when Nettie and Lucy struck. I was preparing myself to destroy my only ally, the core of my existence, when Peter returned. Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. In five years, they'd never had a fight, though they'd met many others in the north. Others who could co-exist without the constant mayhem. In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn't have to kill Maria. I'd been her companion for as many years as Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet the bond between us was nowhere near as strong. When you live for the fight, for the blood, the relationships your form are tenuous and easily broken. I walked away without a backward glance. I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn't fade. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it was always worse after I'd hunted. I could feel everything my prey was feeling. I lived their emotions as I killed them. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey. It began to be too much. The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn't feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing – killing anyone, even mere humans. Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline . . . . challenging. I still haven't perfected that. I was in Philidelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day – something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. That is where I met Alice and for the first time in my new life I felt hope. Alice told me of what she had seen of Carlisle and his family. I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So, we went to find them. "~_

Jasper stopped speaking looking at Bella, trying to feel out her emotions at the same time as watching her facial expressions, trying to get a read on exactly how she would take this. He stood and backed up a step, giving her space. Trying to steel himself for her rejection, her pity, her anger, and mostly her fear. The normal emotions everyone has had that was told his story. Bella stood looking him straight in the eye and took a step putting herself in front of him; then wrapped her arms around him hugging him close and sending him her pride. He looked at her stunned. "How? How can you feel that? After all I told you, everything I have done; you feel that. How? I don't understand you whatsoever Bella." Bella smiled and stepped back dropping her arms, she sat back down in her chair but her eyes remained on his. "You are a good man Jasper, never doubt that. As a human, you fought to keep your way of life, for your freedoms as in those times you saw them. You fought for what you believed in. When you were turned you knew only what was told to you and taught to you. You knew what you saw around you. That was life it was how it was. You fought to survive. You are a true warrior. You stand strong and be proud of the man, you are. You found a friend in all that war and chaos, and you chose to let them run. I'm sure there were many before then that had tried to flee and you dealt with them all as deserters should be dealt with. But Peter and Charlotte, they were different, you cared for them and you let them go. When Peter came back for you and you knew there was more than just war. There was something other than bloodshed, fighting, and fucking. You took it you didn't look back you didn't question. You fled. You fought to survive on a whole new level. You fought to find yourself without the war and chaos to find your peaceful self. You met Alice and found there was another way, a way to feed without the guilt, you took it. You fought once again to be the better man. And of course, you've slipped as you said a hundred years of instant gratification, is very difficult to overcome. You had over a century of living on your natural food source, to turn your back on it and attempt something so unnatural; and to keep fighting to stay with it. Like I said you're a good man Jasper, never doubt that. I'm proud to know you and to stand beside you, as much as I can as a mere human. " Bella gave Jasper a smirk waiting on baited breath to hear his reply. Before anyone could say anything, a sob was heard and a door slammed. Bella looked around and realized Alice was no longer there. Bella turned back to Jasper as he grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. "Thank ya Ma'am, you are truly a unique and caring person to see that." His southern accent very prominent with emotion as his eyes told her just how much her acceptance meant to him. Emmett was the one to break the spell when he boomed laughingly, "Only Bella faced with 'The God of War' could find the good side and not bat an eye at the evil side, knowing you can't have one without the other. It takes all of the whole to make a person. She told you the same thing we have, you went through a lot of shit but what is most important is the person standing in front of us today. That you lived and overcame and continue with your struggle proves her words. You are a good man, Jasper. We all see that." Jasper bowed his head embarrassed by having the attention on him in such a manor. Jasper chuckled slightly uneasy before shaking it off and looking around the room.

"Company's comin. They'll be here tonight." He looked at Bella, "You were right Victoria's gonna need help and I have a feelin she's creatin an army. Peter texted he's on his way with Charlotte, he'll help with the trainin. I'll have to readjust my training to make you more affective against newborns and teach you how to counteract them. " He looked over at Carlisle, "We may also ask if the wolves want to help. By what I've read in the paper, we're looking at fewer than twenty but more than ten newborns. If she continues we will need the extra numbers, as well as help to make sure they don't reach La Push or Forks. We will have to find a way to lure them away from the towns and people." Carlisle gave Jasper a nod. "I'll make the call to Billy Black. " Jasper gave Carlisle a nod. Bella looked up at Jasper. "Change me. You have the experience to train me." Jasper looked Bella in the eyes. "I could, but honestly I don't have the time. I would need at least three months to have you trained well enough. The newborns I trained back then, were nothing but cannon fodder. You are not cannon fodder. You are irreplaceable. You mean too much to this family, you are family. I would have to train you not only to fight but to make sure you could hold your own. Newborns are feral, and can't think rationally it would take months to be sure you could defend yourself properly as well as fight. I don't have that much time." Bella nodded her understanding. "I want to help." Jasper kneeled in front of her. " I know ya do. I was actually thinking of using your scent to lure them to the baseball field. I'll need you to walk the path when it gets closer to time for them to show." Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Don't ask to be on the field, as much as it could be a help, it would also be a hindrance. We care for you and it would be a distraction for us, one of us could get hurt, if we were looking to make sure you were safe. We need to be focused on the battle not worried about you getting killed by a newborn that was just enough to get passed, and not to mention Victoria. It's too much of an opportunity, she may find the perfect hole to get to you. It's our job to keep you safe, not the other way around." Bella nodded. "Okay, I understand. I just don't like feeling helpless." Carlisle made his way back into the living room at that moment and stood next to Jasper. "Isabella, we've already discussed this. You can help in the way Jasper says, make a trail, lead them into our trap. But the rest is up to us. You will be safely here in the house. Someone will be here to guard you while we fight. You will be changed, but not while you're in danger. We don't know when they will attack and I'm sorry sweetie, but you have to agree it would be your luck that while you're in the middle of changing and most vulnerable is when they would strike. We can't risk that. We can't risk you. Do you understand?" Bella looked at Jasper than up at Carlisle. "Yes, I understand. I just worry about all of you. You're all my family." Jasper chuckled low. "Still always worried about the wrong things." Bella gave Jasper a smirk and shrugged her shoulders at him. Carlisle cleared his throat. "We'll meet with Sam at the treaty line in forty minutes. Jasper you'll be with me, the rest of you stay here." Everyone nodded in agreement. Bella sat in her chair thinking, she grabbed a cigarette and lit it, inhaling slowly, before looking at the others. Finally, her eyes rested on Jasper. "You know, I never thought that vampires could be so dense at times." Bella chuckled while everyone looked at her with wide eyes. Bella looked at Carlisle. "None of you realize, his slips aren't his weakness. How many times have you all pushed your limits with feeding, trying to overcome your thirst? I know Edward did quite a few times, even while around me, he would test his control. How often do all of you do that? I know most of you only wish to make Carlisle proud of you, but what you don't realize, Jasper is an empath your thirst is his thirst. He doesn't battle just his own, he battles yours as well. Taking that into consideration, he's stronger than you think." Bella looked back over at Jasper, her pride showing through her eyes as she looked up into his. Everyone was still as statues as they processed the information. Carlisle was the first to speak, as he looked at Jasper. "Is this true son?" Jasper shrugged it off, and looked sheepishly at the floor. "You're the only one who doesn't feel the bloodlust. I try to feed off your emotions, but I can't always block out the others. Edward is the worst with always testing his control." Emmett swore under his breath. " We never even thought about that, it never occurred to us." Emmett's head whipped up as he looked at Bella than Jasper. "Bella's birthday, it was all of us, it wasn't just you. They said you were weak, but you took on all of ours." Bella looked at Emmett, "And Edwards was the worst of all, I'm his personal brand of heroine, as he called it. And if you recollect, Jasper didn't lunge till after I was thrown into the glass. He stopped breathing the moment I cut my finger. He was in control until I was thrown. Laying on the floor I looked up at six pairs of eyes that were dark with thirst. I saw Jasper struggle, if it was only his thirst he had to contend with I don't think he would have lunged. But with all of you, it was too much. He lunged, but even then, he still struggled. Seriously, him being who he is do you think that if he truly wanted to hurt me that anyone of you could have stopped him? Even all of you together couldn't have stopped him, but I saw his eyes, he warred with himself. He didn't want to hurt me. It's why I forgave him instantly. I saw what he was going through. It wasn't his fault. And as much as you may or may not believe me, Edward didn't push me away from Jasper, he pushed me away from himself. He was the weak one that night. Edward wasn't trying to protect me, he was protecting his prey. " Bella's last sentence came out as barely a whisper, but they all heard and knew she was right. But it took her pointing it out for them to all see it. Everyone was statue still and quiet as Bella finished her cigarette. She grabbed the bottle Jasper had brought down uncapped it, and took a swig.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Bella sat in the living room, lost in her thoughts, wishing there was a way to keep them all safe. Carlisle and Jasper had left to meet with the pack. Everyone was sitting and waiting to see which way the pack would go. Bella was sure they would help if nothing else to ensure that La Push stayed safe, as well as the good people of Forks. Alice quietly came into the room and sat in a chair in the corner. Bella looked over at her a slight frown creasing her brow. Bella grabbed her things and made her way to the stairs. As she entered her room she called for Alice. Alice appeared next to her in the next moment. Bella ushered her into her room, softly closing the door behind her. Bella went over putting her things down on the night stand next to her bed as she sat down leaning up against the headboard. Bella beckoned Alice over. As Alice sat looking up at Bella. Bella engulfed Alice in a hug, as she released her and sat down she looked at her friend in concern. "Alice, what's wrong?" Alice gave a huff. "Everything Bella, just everything. I feel horrid. I never saw any of it and I should have. I should have seen, I could have protected you. I should have known better than to blindly believe him. I left you, my best friend, my sister. I never should have. I should have been here for you. I failed you and I'm so sorry Bella." Bella held up her hand shaking her head. "No Alice, you stop right there. None of this is your fault. It's Edward's fault, he lied. He lied to everyone. He was selfish. I told you before Alice, you can't see everything all the time. I'm sorry I …. " Bella let out a breath and grabbed a cigarette from her pack. Lighting it up and inhaling deeply she looked into Alice's eyes. "I guess part of me blamed you for the same thing Alice. And I'm so fucking sorry." Alice quirked a brow at Bella's colorful language and both girls broke into a grin as they heard Esme holler up from below. "Isabella, language." Bella shook her head, "She's understanding my drinking and smoking, but heaven forbid if I use a cuss word." Alice and Bella giggled. "Look Alice, I'm very sorry. I knew you can't see everything, but a small part of me wondered if maybe you did see, at least something. I … I thought that maybe you just didn't care. I thought he was right and that none of you ever cared. I believed every word he told me. But Alice, you didn't see. It's not your fault. I've missed you so much. You're my sister, and you always will be." Bella gave Alice a wink. "You're stuck with me for eternity now, and my horrid sense of fashion." Alice gave Bella hug and a smile. "I've dealt with worse. Bella," Alice hesitated for a moment, "Bella, it's … it's not just that. I … ugh why is this so hard. I have told you I will always be honest with you, and I'm not going back on my word now. I was upset, well maybe that's the wrong word. After we left, everyone put blame on Jasper, maybe not fully, they didn't outright say it. He felt what we did, he was so, guilt ridden. I had a vision of him, he was happy, smiling and laughing. More relaxed than I had ever seen him. I wasn't sure what brought on the change. I ran into our room to see what if anything he had maybe decided or in the very least tell him of what his future held. As soon as I entered the room and he looked into my eyes, the vision changed. I saw him forever sitting on the sidelines, his face always stoic, the laughter gone from his eyes. I didn't know what to make of it. I went off to hunt alone trying to figure out what was different, what changed. I went back to the house, everyone else was gone so I sat down with Jasper, and I told him of both visions. He explained that the guilt and grief from everyone was getting to him. He had decided to leave for a while. Just to try to get away from all the emotions in the house, but as soon as he saw me, he couldn't do that. He couldn't leave me like that. I had helped him, gave him hope when he thought all was lost. His face was the first face I saw when I woke to this life. I thought he was my mate. I was wrong but it took me a very long time to realize that. I needed him just as he needed me. I gave him hope and brought him to peace, he gave me protection and love, and he helped me keep my sanity. Together we found a family here, we found peace in a world of chaos. After we spoke, I realized I would have to let him go. I love him enough to want his happiness, no matter the cost. So that's what I did I let him go. I still love him I always will, but somewhere out there is my true mate, I have family here to rely on till my mate comes. " Bella grabbed Alice and held her close. Bella shed the tears that Alice couldn't.

Alice pulled back, looking at Bella. "The way you accept everyone, no matter what they've done. You did more for Jasper in a few moments as a friend, than I was able to do as his wife in fifty years. You made him whole. You didn't bat an eyelash, you took his whole sordid past and accepted him for who he was and who he is. I could never do that. I loved him, I still do in a way. But I always ignored who he was, I brushed it under the rug and pretended it didn't exist. I made him into who I wanted him to be. You have such a big heart, and you have a pure soul. Even after everything you've been through. Anyone else would have become bitter, but you overcame everything. I put him in long sleeves so I didn't have to feel the fear of his scars. I didn't fear him but his scars always made me feel uneasy. But you, you accept his scars as a part of him, and you love him for who he is, scars and all. And I know you don't feel for him romantically, that's not what I'm saying. You love so fiercely, if you consider them friend or family you love them and are loyal, beyond what I have ever seen before. I always thought Rose was the most loyal person I had ever met. But then I met you, and you give her a run for her money on loyalty." Bella finished her cigarette while Alice spoke, she put it out in the ashtray. Her eyes glistening with tears as she grabbed Alice's hands, holding them in her own for a moment before pulling Alice close, and wrapping her arms around her. Bella held Alice's slight frame. Slowly pulling back, Bella looked into Alice's eyes, "It may not have been perfect on either side, but you loved Jasper and he loved you. It's not the same as before but there's still love there. You accepted him too in your own way. Not everyone is the same Alice. At the time you needed him just as much as he needed you. You both learned and you grew, you needed each other. You healed each other." Alice sobbed as she pulled Bella into a hug. "Thank you, my sister. " They sat in silence, leaning against each other, both offering the support the other needed. A little while later Alice stirred slightly, "They're back." Both girls rose and headed down stairs to hear of the outcome of the meeting with the wolves. As the girls descended the stairs Carlisle and Jasper entered the front door. Alice made her way to the couch, as Bella went to sit in the arm chair; it had quickly become Bella's chair. Jasper made his way over to stand behind Bella, while Carlisle made his way to stand next to Esme who was sitting on the loveseat. Carlisle cleared his throat unnecessarily, gaining everyone's attention. "The wolves will help us, tonight we will meet at the baseball field and begin our training. Jasper, Esme and I are going to head out for a quick hunt. When we get back Rose, Emmett, and Alice will head out for their hunt. Jasper and I told the wolves of Peter and Charlotte's arrival, and that they will be helping with the training as well." Everyone gave Carlisle a nod of understanding and Jasper leaned down to Bella. "I'll be back as soon as I can." Bella gave Jasper a nod and a small smile. Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle headed out for their hunt. Bella sat back in the chair and watched the others in the room. Emmett playing a video game, Rose made her way to Alice and they began to look through a fashion magazine their heads together as the conversed back and forth on the latest fashions hitting Paris. Bella sat back and watched her family, a small smile playing on her lips.

Bella sat quietly enjoying the peacefulness, only interrupted occasionally by Emmett yelling at his game. The first two outbursts Bella had jumped, but after a reprimand by Rose, Emmett had kept it down and Bella wasn't inclined to jump out of her chair. A few hours later, Bella sat and watched as Emmett saved his game and powered everything off; then the three of them simultaneously rose and ghosted to the back door as the other three entered the front door. Bella sat with an amused smile on her face as she watched the 'changing of the guard' done perfectly seamless. The three that entered headed upstairs to clean up she assumed. A few minutes later two of the three descended. She figured Carlisle had retired to his study, as Esme went to the kitchen, most likely to whip something up in the kitchen, while Jasper headed straight to Bella to resume his post by her side. He was her protector above all else. But Bella had thought about it at length, she was quite curious as to why the change in his demeanor. The pervious summer's memories invaded her mind as she had seen Jasper ghosting behind Alice most of the time except of course when Alice was playing Bella Barbie, and Jasper had made himself scarce. But all the other times it had been Edward who hovered around Bella, though his seemed a little overbearing and controlling in her mind. While Jasper had hovered close to Alice, his seemed more protective in a healthy way. The only times he seemed overbearing but more in an outward fashion than towards Alice, was when Alice went into a vision, it was her in her weakest state and he would loom over her in a protective stance, his senses going outward looking for any possible threat. It was those moments that concreted the fact as true that they were mates. Apparently, she had been wrong in that assumption. Mates could never leave each other. The fact that Alice had in a word 'divorced' Jasper meant they weren't mates as she had been lead to believe. But the way Jasper now hovered over her, had her metaphorically and well literally as well scratching her head. Not sure how to process this information. She had thought Edward was her mate as he had stated, but for him to hurt her the way he did and leave her unprotected in the woods was an obvious slap in the face and a confirmation to her fears that he was indeed not her mate. It made sense as to why he never wanted to change her. He wasn't into keeping her forever, he was addicted to her smell, and wanted her around until it finally came to be too much and he knew he was going to end up killing her instead of keeping her. But it still didn't shed light on what the hell Jasper was doing now. Did she have some unknown pull to make the supernatural fall in love with her? If she was honest, she must have some pull or something going on, look at how the pack felt about her they loved her, even the abrasive Paul would do anything to protect her, then there was the Cullen's who also was pulled towards her. Even James, who in his own sick twisted way felt the pull. He tried to change her rather than kill her and tried to escape, and most likely would have if it hadn't been for Jasper. And then there was Victoria, who yes, wanted revenge but at the same time rather than just kill her after putting her through so much pain, she kept her alive and kept coming back to her. Bella couldn't help thinking there was something so very wrong with her. Her internal musings and emotions had Jasper looking at her cautiously. She was feeling self-loathing, unworthy, anxiety, as well as worry and concern, but what threw Jasper the most was it wasn't just for others as was normal for her, it was also concern for herself. And that, was what put his hackles up and made the small hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

Before Jasper had the chance to question her, Esme entered letting Bella know food was ready and she needed to eat. Bella huffed as she got up heading to the dining room to sit and eat. Bella got up and went into the dining room sitting down at the table, she began to eat. With everything going around in circles in her head she hadn't even noticed what she was eating. Once she had finished her plate, she gathered up her dishes, and headed to the kitchen to wash up after herself. As she entered the kitchen she quietly remarked, "Thanks, mom." As she washed up after herself it donned on her that her emotions were going to cause Jasper to ask questions and she wasn't ready to talk about it just yet. She knew from experience that blocking her emotions from him was doable it just took a lot out of her and she didn't have the energy to put into that, especially with company coming. So, she did the next best thing, she stopped her brain on the track it was on, and started thinking of something else, anything else to get her emotions in line. Her mind turned towards her family, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose, Alice, and there her brain got stuck again. Jasper, he was family, but not, putting him in the same role as brother along with Emmett just didn't sit right. But she didn't have a label for him just yet. Best friend, was close, protector, was a good description. Well that's just great now she's feeling puzzled and that's really going to make him curious. Okay so off this track for now, something to mule over later. She finished putting her dishes on the towel to dry and made her way back to the living room sitting in her chair. She looked out the window, staring into the trees, letting the peacefulness of the view around her seep into her. Her emotions balanced out as she felt calm and peace. Perfect just what she was going for. She knew Jasper would be wanting to talk to her later, and it would probably be a good idea to talk to him about a few things that were on her mind, but right now just wasn't the time. Jasper had again sat down on the floor next to her chair, his arm resting on the arm of the chair, she moved her hand placing it on his arm, she didn't feel like talking out loud, she didn't want to disturb the peace, so she decided to try something new with him. She sent him her worry, he sent back a slight confused puzzlement, she sent him inferiority, he sent back a little anger mixed with pride, joy, and love. She looked over at him and quirked a brow, and sent him back love mixed with a little confusion. Ever so quietly, she could barely make out the words, he said. "They're going to love you." And just like that the fear was back running rampant, that was a big part of her problem, so many loved her and she just didn't get it. She wasn't anything special, she was just plain jane Bella, nothing special, nothing to see here. She just didn't understand any of it. She sent him some anxiety, mixed with longing. She got up and headed upstairs to her room. She needed to lie down for a minute and try to get her emotions under control, as well as her wayward thoughts.

She must have fallen asleep, the next thing she knew there was a knock on her door, she sat up. "Come in." Alice peeked her head in. "Hey, they're here. Are you going to come down and meet them or are you going to be the family recluse?" Bella gave Alice a small smile. "I'll be right down let me just get up and splash some water on my face." Alice gave a nod and disappeared back out the door. Bella stood up looking down she smoothed out her clothes trying to get rid of the wrinkles, though she was in only in shorts and a tank top. It seemed like days since she woke up this morning, so much in so little time her brain had so much to deal with it didn't surprise her that she fell asleep. And the worst part was the day wasn't over yet. She had to get downstairs meet the two new vamps that will no doubt risk their lives for hers, and she wasn't worth all of this. And then they still had to meet the wolves for training in a little while. She was pretty sure she would be going along as well. Everyone was training so no one would be here for Bella guard duty. Bella walked into the bathroom her mind still racing in circles as she splashed water on her face, trying to get rid of the sleepy lines as well as wake herself up a bit. She also ran a brush through her hair before piling it up in a loose bun. She left the bathroom to stop in her tracks as she entered the bedroom, there standing next to her bed was a very pissed off Major. Bella could tell by his eyes, this was the Major, and she had done something to piss him off. She just wasn't sure what it was. Her mind raced through what had been going around in circles in her head. Realization hit, her emotions had given her away, she was feeling worthless again. The Major quirked a brow at her, Bella lowered her eyes and looked at the floor. "My apologies, Major. My thoughts got away from me." Major gave her a quick nod. "Just so you know, Isabella, if you continue with those emotions, I will change them. " Bella gave a nod in understanding, as she sent him her remorse. Major turned and left to go back downstairs as Bella slowly followed behind him. She was anxious about meeting the new vamps that had come to help. Jasper returned to the group in the living room, Bella followed behind, her nervousness was hardly contained. As she entered the area, everyone stopped and turned, before Jasper could make the introductions, Bella was met with two hissing and growling vampires. Peter and Charlotte took in her appearance and her scars in millisecond. Jasper immediately went to Bella, standing in front of her shielding her. Bella heard a snarl of words but wasn't able to make out what was said. Charlotte was the first to gather herself and get herself under control. She stood still for a moment before slowly making her way over to Bella, she peered around Jasper, "Hey sug, I'm Charlotte. You must be Bella." Charlotte gave Bella a timid smile, which Bella returned. "It's a pleasure to meet you Charlotte." Bella frowned slightly as she looked up at Jasper who was blocking her. Bella reached up and put a hand on Jasper's shoulder. Jasper looked over his shoulder and down at Bella, quirking a brow. Bella sent him her annoyance. "Jasper, move. Or I'll have Emmett move you for me." Had Bella not been so annoyed the look on Jasper's face would have been priceless. Jasper moved to the side, allowing Bella the chance to step forward. Bella gave Charlotte a smile. "There, now that the Neanderthal has moved out of the way. " Charlotte gave a laugh, "Oh sug, you and I are gonna get along just fine. Oh, and that Neanderthal over there is Peter, I'm his better half." Bella chuckled and gave Peter a smile. "Good to meet you Peter." Peter smiled and ducked his head, "The pleasure is all mine lil bit. Forgive my rudeness, I apologize for going a little animalistic there, but I do have a question. How were you able to get all those scars and remain human? I'm sorry, it's a lot to take in. But at the same time, you have my most admiration, for you to go through what looks to be a hell equal to ours, as a human, well truly you are a warrior beyond what is imaginable. " Bella blushed at the compliment and mumbled a humble thank you. Bella made her way over to her chair as everyone else made themselves comfortable around the living room, Jasper as usual took up residence standing next to her.

Peter cleared his throat getting everyone's attention. "Alright ya'all, I know Pixie's visions haven't been working all too well lately, and that is because of two reasons, first would be due to lil bit here. The second is due to the fact you have enlisted the shape shifters. But I know what is comin our way. We are about to be in the middle of one big ol cluster fuck. Sorry Esme, there was just no other way of puttin it. Now we all know we have Victoria to deal with as well as her army of newborns. But on the tails of that storm is another one that is just a might worse. The Volturi, will be making an appearance. Everything will work out in the end, that much I know. It's just getting from here to there is gonna be a mighty strain on lil bit." Peter stopped and looked at Bella, "We'll all be here for ya, and you are gonna end up with more on your side than what ya want. But in the end, you will find happiness, and you are going to change a lot of people, albeit for the better. You're going to change our world. Well that might be a bit much, but you will change those who are in charge of our world. The things that have been swimmin through that lil head of yours, well let's just say, you're on the right track there, sugar. Yes, you will be one of us, and when you are turned, well luckily for you, everyone will love you. And I do mean everyone, which is going to be a huge plus in your favor. Your gift will make you the most dangerous vampire to ever walk this earth. Now the first thing we have to deal with and get through is this little battle in front of us. It's going to be cake walk. Charlotte and I will be there to help train the wolves as well as the family. But when it comes time for the battle, the reason Charlotte and I are here, it's not to participate on the field, it's because we will be here with lil bit. We will be on protection duty, she's going to need us. We're not able to assist with fighting the newborns we left that life a long time ago and have no desire to rehash those old memories, though we may need to dispatch a vampire or two it will be only to protect lil bit. Now if we are going to meet up with these wolves we need to get a move on." Peter stood and everyone else seemed to follow suit. Bella took a moment to realize everyone else had stood, her mind was going a hundred miles per hour, with all the information that Peter had just dumped on her. Jasper paused in front of her looking down. Her emotions were on a roller coaster ride, and the turmoil within was enough to almost put him on his knees. Jasper reached out putting a hand on her shoulder as he sent her calming waves. As much as he knew she hated to be emotionally manipulated, he also knew at this moment it didn't matter, she needed the calm. Bella looked up and sent him gratitude as she took his calm and wrapped herself inside of it, while simultaneously shutting off her brain at the moment. She stood and shook off her thoughts. She could go over it another time right now she had more important things to deal with and do. They all headed outside, Alice was the last one to make it out of the house, back pack in hand. Alice tossed Bella a hoodie. Bella looked up at Alice, "Thank you." She put it on. Jasper stepped over to her, "I'll have to carry you darlin." Bella nodded, allowing Jasper to pick her up. He carried her bridal style as they as one all headed through the woods.

Bella had closed her eyes, in attempt to keep the motion sickness at bay. It worked, she barely felt Jasper move beneath her. The only thing that let her know they were moving was the wind whipping around her. As the wind decreased, she realized his speed had decreased, she slowly opened her eyes and noticed he was walking, and she could see an opening in the trees up ahead. Jasper walked through the trees, entering the field, he placed Bella on her feet and held her steady. Once he was certain that she wouldn't fall over he stepped away. Together they walked side by side, as they got to the center of the field she noticed everyone looking into the tree line. She waited for the wolves to appear knowing that that was what everyone else was waiting for. The first of the wolves appeared, he was huge and black as night. There was one wolf on his right-hand side, the rest of the pack followed behind the two. As soon as Bella saw the wolf on the right, her face lit up with a smile, and a whisper was barely heard as breath on her lips. "Jacob." Bella made her way forward towards the wolves. No one attempted to stop her, Jacob took two steps towards her, but a growl from the black one stopped him and he didn't move from that spot. Bella walked over, placing her hand on Jacob's muzzle she petted him gently. Jacob bumped his nose against Bella's cheek, before dipping his head down. Bella scratched behind his ears and giggled as he wagged his tail. He licked the side of her face, Bella squealed and jumped back. "Eww, that's fucking gross Jake. Now I need a shower." Jacob made a small whine and huffing sound, Bella bopped him on his nose. "Bad puppy." Everyone on the vampires side was laughing, and all the wolves were making huffing sounds of laughter. Bella made her way over to the side as Jacob followed her, Jake plopped down and Bella sat curled up in his side. His warmth seeped into Bella, helping stave off the chilly night air. Carlisle had stepped up to address both groups. "Thank you, for assisting us in protecting Bella, and keeping the town safe from Victoria. Now I'm going to let Jasper take over he has more experience in this area." Carlisle stepped back as Jasper stepped forward, Peter was at his right –hand. "They will fight like children, when we are turned, we are called newborns for a reason. Everything is new to them, they will have no instruction or training on how to fight. They will use their brute strength. Newborns are stronger, faster, and more feral. Two most important rules when fighting newborns, one, don't let them get their arms around you, they can crush you instantly. And two, don't go for the obvious kill, don't fight head on. You'll need to be constantly moving. Attack from the side or from behind, they won't be expecting that. I'll show you a few techniques in fighting them and dodging their attacks." Jasper continued with the instruction, calling Emmett first and showing how the newborns will fight and how to confuse them and defeat them. Bella let her mind wonder, not really paying much attention. They were nothing but blurs to her she couldn't actually, see what they were doing. Curled up next to Jacob she absent-mindedly began running her fingers through his fur. Bella had been sitting there for about an hour when her eyelids began to droop. She fought lethargy for as long as she could, she tried to focus on the training session. The vampires had paired off, when they slowed she could see Peter was going up against Char and Alice, Emmett was going against Carlisle and Rosalie was up against Esme. Jasper made rounds walking between the groups giving pointers, demonstrating various holds and moves as needed. The wolves sat in wolf form and watched taking in everything. Jacob looked to be sleeping next to Bella, he was still except for his breathing, the sound coming from him was almost that of a kittens contented purr. Bella's fingers were still running through his fur. Finally, the lethargy won out and Bellas eyes drooped for the last time as she succumbed to sleeps awaiting arms.

Bella awoke stretching and giving a yawn as she looked to the side her eyes meeting Jaspers. She smiled, he smiled. "Mornin darlin." He rose from his seat as Bella got up realizing she was still in the same clothes as yesterday she made her way to the closet to pull out some clothes, the temperature seemed to have gone down a bit from yesterday, she could see the clouds in the sky blanketing over the sun. She grabbed out a pair of sweats, tank top, and the FPD hoodie. She made her way to the bathroom to shower and dress. Once she was done she made her way downstairs. Esme had her breakfast ready and she went to the table to eat, and enjoy a steaming cup of coffee. Once she was done, she took her dishes to the kitchen. After she washed her dishes and left them to dry she headed to the living room. Bella made herself comfortable in her arm chair, as everyone talked around her. It seemed they were still discussing battle strategies. Bella sat and listened off and on, but a lot of it she had trouble keeping up, she just mumbled under her breath about stupid vamps and chipmunk chatter, Jasper did his best to keep it within the human range so Bella could understand. He knew how much she hated being left in the dark about things. Bella's mind started to wander and the walls seemed to be closing in. Being alone for so long, then being thrown into a house full of vampires was wearing on her nerves. Bella got up and made her way upstairs once upstairs she was able to breathe a little easier but not much. What she really wanted was to go outside and get some air, but at the same time she didn't want to disrupt their strategic planning. Bella grabbed a cigarette out of her pack and made her way downstairs and out the back door, leaving it slightly open, she stayed next to it not wanting to tempt fate with going too far from the house. She wasn't going anywhere near the tree line marking the woods beyond the house. Bella lit her cigarette and inhaled. Letting the cool breeze waft over her. Being out in the air felt good. She hadn't even got her second drag off of her cigarette before the Major stood in front of her. "Isabella." Bella looked up at him. "I didn't go far just right here next to the house. I'm not trying to do anything stupid I just needed a bit of air. I didn't want to interrupt your planning." Jasper looked down at her. "I understand, but still your safety comes first and foremost. Finish your cigarette, I'll stand guard. We're basically just going over the same plan. We can't come up with anything better. Alice is going to go hunt and try to see what's comin and when. Peter and Char are going with her to make sure she's not in danger. " Bella gave him a nod and finished her cigarette. When she was done they headed back in the house.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Okay so this chapter will hopefully be a little better in the format department. I want to thank everyone for all the great reviews and the great advice and constructive criticism, it's what builds us as writers. Thank you, my constant readers, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I apologize that it took me so long to get this posted. Life got in the way. I will try my best to update more often, things are hectic at the moment so I may not be able to post as often as before, but I'm hoping at least once a month, though hopefully more often than that.

Chapter 9

Days had past, everyone falling into a schedule. During the day was planning and strategizing the battle, while the night was for training. The wolves were great allies, that would help tip the scale immensely. Bella's only problem was the sitting around and waiting, she noticed that Jasper and Peter weren't doing so well in the waiting department either. Bella noticed them having a heated discussion as they were bent over a map. Bella walked over to see what they were looking at and to listen in and maybe add her two cents if she could help.

Jasper shook his head again, "Peter, you're not listening; if you take her from the field to there, you will be tracked for one, for two it's going to be too cold up there for her. She's human, she will freeze during the night. "

Bella stepped up next to Jasper and placed a hand on his shoulder, " Okay, first off you two, you need to step back and take a breather. I get it you are vampires, but right now all you're doing is running in circles. You're both too close to the situation, so not thinking as clearly as you need to; just step back a moment. Both of you come with me, all this strategizing is wearing on me and I need a smoke; and possibly a drink. Jasper do you mind going and grabbing them for me? Peter, walk with me."

Peter and Jasper shared a look before looking at Bella. Jasper shrugged, "Alright, we'll take a break. We'll humor the human." Jasper grinned as Peter chuckled. Bella rolled her eyes.

Jasper ran upstairs to grab her things, while Peter and Bella headed outside. The weather had started to change, the cloudy days of fall already making their appearance, so Bella had started going out the front under the cover of the porch sitting on the bench that Emmett had placed for her. There was a small decorative table next to the bench that Esme had found and placed for Bella to use for the ashtray. Peter sat in the chair on the other side of the table. As Peter and Bella sat down Jasper appeared in front of the table placing Bella's things down for her.

Bella grabbed the bottle and took a swig, then grabbed a cigarette from the pack. Lighting it up she inhaled deeply, "First thing's first boys. Who knows this area the best?"

Jasper chuckled before responding, "First we ain't no boys, and second that would-be Emmett and me."

Bella gave Jasper a smirk, "Alright so you and Emmett go look over the map find a place that is easily defendable, don't worry about the weather and the cold just find a place where a tent can be put down. I know you all have a ton of camping gear to keep up with the human charade, and the story about you all being avid campers and hikers. " Jasper gave Bella a nod and disappeared back inside.

Bella continued to smoke her cigarette, looking over at Peter. "I have an idea. The whole thing you two are arguing about is getting me from the field to a safe place without leaving a trail that can be fallowed, am I right?" Peter gave Bella a nod, letting her continue without interruptions, his gift was goin' off tellin' him that he needed to pay attention because what she was suggesting was gonna work. Bella took another drag off her cigarette, "So, you all don't like the smell of the wolves. My idea is to have Jacob meet us in the field using a different path, making sure not to cross mine. Once we get to the field he can carry me his scent should mask mine. He can take me to the designated camp site. You and Char can take different routes, Victoria won't know you're scent she may just think you're nomads passing through. She hasn't met you two yet. It should work, or I think it might work."

Peter gave Bella a huge grin, "Beauty and brains, would ya look it that. I think you're on ta somethin' there lil bit. We'll be sure ta bring it up tonight when we're trainin'. Jasper was right you have a sharp mind." Bella gave a chuckle and finished her cigarette. Her and Peter headed back inside to continue the planning.

The plans were finally set, they had a designated safe area where Bella would be taken from the field. All the battle strategies had been hashed out, as well as Jacob had agreed to be the one to carry her from the field to the area. Peter and Char would be keeping her safe while the others fought the newborns and Victoria. Everything was set and ready, the only thing they were waiting on was the day and time of the attack.

They knew the Volturi would be showing up after the fight, they just weren't sure how long after it that they would show. Bella was also worried about when Edward would be making an appearance. She had a feeling it would be sooner than later. So much had happened in such a short amount of time, and it felt as though everything was crashing down on her all at once.

Bella's fragile human mind and body was almost at a breaking point, and all the waiting was starting to take its toll. She just wanted to hurry up and get it over with. Bella sat on her bed deep in thought. She just wanted to hurry up and die. She knew her death was coming; she just hoped that it would be her human life that died and she would be reborn as a vampire. That had always been her hope and still was. But now the rose-tinted glasses were off and she wasn't throwing her life a way for a boy, now, now she knew if she were going to survive she would have to die to do it.

She needed to be strong, she needed to be able to defend herself. But her main reason, was, she would do it for her family. If the Volturi ever found out about her, and she remained human; the Cullens would pay the price. She knew enough to know, that would mean some would die while the ones Aro wanted would be forced into servitude.

Bella got up from her bed and went to grab out a bottle from her closet. She was proud of herself with all the stress she had been under she hardly drank anymore and her smoking had cut down dramatically. But right now, all she could think was that she really needed a drink, or maybe a bottle. She took a couple of swigs before putting it down on the floor next to her bed. Grabbing her smokes and her lighter she decided to make her way downstairs. She knew once she went through the front door to sit on the front deck to have a cigarette someone would fallow her out they usually took turns keeping an eye on her. With the threat looming over their heads, no one allowed her outside on her own.

It didn't take long, she had just sat down when Jasper sat in the chair on the other side of the small table. She lit her cigarette and sat enjoying the quiet of the evening. She hadn't realized the day had already gone by. She figured Esme was already in the kitchen making her dinner. It didn't matter how many times Bella said she could cook for herself, Esme would just cluck her tongue and shoo her out of the kitchen. Esme loved doting on her, and Bella couldn't find it in herself to tell Esme no. Esme's smile that made her face and eyes glow, every time Bella enjoyed her meals, was worth it.

Bella finished her cigarette and went back inside, slowly she made her way to the kitchen to see what Esme was cooking up this time. She had been so wrapped up in her head she hadn't smelled the delicious aroma's wafting from the kitchen. As she walked in Esme was plating her food. Lasagna, with a garden salad, and garlic toast. Bella inhaled the wonderful aroma, before taking her first bite. For a vampire who never eats Bella, was always amazed at how well Esme could cook. Every meal was like sweet ambrosia to her tongue.

Once Bella was finished and had washed her dishes she headed into the living room. As she walked past the staircase she noticed Alice making her way down the stairs. Bella stopped and watched worry etched on her face as she saw Alice stop mid step with a faraway look on her face. Alice was having a vision, and as much as Bella wanted to get through this and have it done and over with, at the same time, the waiting that had been torturous, now didn't seem so bad. As Alice came out of the vision she made the rest of the way down the stairs and into the living room. Two words was all it took to make Bella's heart stop mid beat for 3 seconds before it went into overdrive; beating so fast and hard Bella feared it would jump out of her chest.

Alice entered the living room, "They're coming."

Everyone looked up, waiting for her to continue but the heartbeat that stuttered and then took off like a jet plane, is what pulled all of their attention. Jasper was next to Bella with his arms around her in less than a half a second, he pushed calming waves towards her, hoping she would take it and it would help. At the same time, he lifted her up and carried her to her chair, sitting her in his lap, while whispering in her ear hoping that if the calming emotion didn't work that his words would.

Bella relaxed into Jasper as he rubbed soothing circles on her back. Once Bella's breathing and heartbeat were back to normal Alice tried again. "Sorry um, they're on their way soon, " Alice cast a look at Bella, "I can't see that well but it looks like they'll be here in a few days. I think there are 13 newborns and 1 who is older and then her. "

Peter cocked his head to the side for a few seconds, " They'll be here Thursday mornin'. Group one should go hunt now, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, an' Major." Peter looked over at Jasper holding Bella. " Don't worry Major, Emmett and I got her, and Rose and Char will be here. This here is the best way ta do this. When ya'all get back, the rest of us will go hunt. Char an I won't be back here though. We'll take what we need with us an' go straight ta the campsite to set up. Tomorrow evening Major will take lil bit on their walk through the woods leavin' the trail. " Peter paused as he cocked his head to the side, then looked straight at the Major. "How much ya know 'bout fixin' lil bit?" Peter shook his head, " Ah never mind. Carlisle when they meet the wolf in the field you should be there with your medical bag, I don't think the Major here knows all that much about first aid." Carlisle gave Peter a nod as he stood with Esme and walked over to Alice.

Peter stood and walked over to Jasper, he held out his arms for Bella, for a split second, Jasper growled low as his arms held Bella tighter to his chest. "Major, I'll protect her with my life, just as I have you. " Jasper gave Peter a curt nod as he gingerly put Bella in Peter's arms before joining the other three to go hunting. Peter took Jasper's spot on the chair with Bella in his lap as he talked quietly in her ear. He kept her calm while they waited for Jasper's return.

Bella looked up at Peter, "You shouldn't be here, none of you should. I told Jasper when he came back that he needed to leave. Victoria is vicious, I can't stand the thought of any of you getting hurt because of me."

A loud roar echoed through the house, Bella looked up to see Emmett towering above her. Never had she seen him so angry, and never had he been mad at her. Emmett glared down at Bella. "If you think for one second, that we would leave you here knowing what we know, how she tortured you; to save ourselves, when we don't even need saving. You have another thing coming. We are strong. She may be vicious, but we can be just as vicious. Had I even thought there was a chance that what happened to you was a remote possibility I would have never left. I would have ripped Edward a new one and consequences be damned, I would have never left you on your own."

Rosalie came over to stand next to Emmett, "I would have stayed with him, just because we didn't see eye to eye, and I was trying to push you out of this world, doesn't mean that I would have walked away and left you to be tortured by that sadistic bitch. Alice searched your future, she refused to leave until she knew you would be safe. If she had seen anything that showed an inkling of what lay ahead of you, none of us would have left."

Bella nodded at Rosalie, "I just can't stand the thought of any of you getting hurt. I'm worried about all of you."

Peter pulled Bella a little closer, trying to comfort her the best he could without hurting her. "Bella, Bella, calm down lil bit. I promise ya none of us will get hurt. I can tell ya with certainty we'lll all be ok. Ya know how this works, I just know things. I know this, we'll all be fine, and more importantly, you'll be okay. We'll all make it through this. This is a fight we won't lose."

Again, Bella nodded, as she took a deep breath. She calmed herself down as best she could. Rosalie disappeared only to return a second later, holding a bottle, as well as her cigarettes, and her ashtray. she pulled out a cigarette and held it out to Bella and placed the ashtray on the table next to the chair. Bella took the cigarette, giving Rosalie an appreciative smile. "Thanks, Rosie."

Bella had her cigarette and a couple of shots of vodka, and was able to calm down. With Jasper out hunting and not there to help her sleep they decided it would probably help if she slept on the couch instead of up in her room. The other four remained to help her through the night. Her sleep was fitful and restless. Every time she started to thrash one of them would rub her back and whisper in her ear helping her to calm down and go back into a more restful sleep. They all took turns sitting with her. Eventually the night past.

Bella woke up being held by stone arms, against a stone chest. Her memories of the night before rushed through her head. Her first thought was Peter, the chest and arms weren't massive enough to be Emmett. Bella slowly opened her eyes and peered up into the face looking to see who was cradling her in their arms. She was surprised to see it was Jasper. She didn't expect him back yet. Jasper looked down into her eyes, getting lost for a moment before his tongue remembered how to speak.

"Mornin" darlin. I heard you had a bit of a restless night so I thought I'd try to help you sleep. I can manipulate you better if I'm touching you. I figured you'd need your rest, I doubt you'll get much sleep tonight." Bella gave him a nod with a small "Good morning, Jasper."

As she moved to get up, Jasper let up on his grip on her to allow her to move. Though still holding on to her till she got her balance. He didn't want her falling and hitting her head on the coffee table. That would just be her luck. "There's coffee and your breakfast should be done soon."

"Kay, I'll just go take my human moment and get dressed. What time is it any way I didn't expect you back yet?" Jasper gave her a guilty look, "It's going on 12:30 in the afternoon darlin. Like I said, I wanted you to get your sleep. The others took off when we got back. Peter and Char will head up to the camp ground after they hunt. They'll have everything set up and all ready and waiting for when you get there. We'll leave here around 4 or so. I'll run you to where you need to leave your trail. Then I'll walk a distance away from you, but still close enough to help should you need it. I'll be able to talk to you and guide you so you don't get lost."

Bella gave him a nod before heading upstairs to shower. Once in her room she grabbed her heaviest pair of jeans with a long-sleeved t-shirt. She found her warmest hoodie and threw it on the bed and grabbed her pair of hiking boots in the back of the closet and placed them on the floor at the foot of her bed. After grabbing her towel and the rest of her clothing she headed into the bathroom for her human moment and her shower.

Bella stepped into the shower letting the hot water run over her tense muscles for a few minutes before she began to wash her hair in her favorite strawberry scented shampoo. She washed her hair thoroughly then conditioned it, to attempt at keeping the frizz down to a minimum. With her hair done she washed herself, trying to concentrate on what she was doing to keep her mind from wandering. Her attempts failed as her worry of the others and what would be taking place the next morning filled her head. Each of the families faces filled her mind. She couldn't bear the thought of them being hurt.

How could she be so selfish as to let them put themselves in harm's way. This was all her fault. If she had never came to Forks, then there would be no need for this battle. But at the same time, she could not regret meeting them, knowing them, loving them. She had been selfless her whole life up until she met Edward. Meeting him, loving him, had been the most selfish thing she had ever done. Knowing being around her caused him pain, as with the others of the family, aside from Carlisle. She caused them all pain. But instead of being the selfless person she had always been, she had been selfish. She had chased after him, and got too close to all of them. Because of that, she was once again hurting those she loved. She was forcing Jasper to return to his past mindset, causing him to relive past memories that hurt him so much. He wasn't that man anymore, he had grown so much and overcome even more, to be the man he was today; and here she was ripping it all out from under him. Putting him right back at his starting point, with Newborn Wars. The only difference this wasn't the south and this wasn't for feeding rights. But to Bella it didn't matter the why or the how, what mattered was that it was. And it was all her fault.

Her hair and body washed she stayed under the spray of the shower letting the water cascade over her, as her tears of shame and guilt ran down her face. Her worries would not subside. Her feelings, becoming rawer with each passing second. As the water turned cold she finally pulled herself from the shower drying herself off and slowly went about putting her clothes on. She stood in front of the bathroom mirror and grabbed her hair brush, brushing out the knots and tangles, as she attempted to get her emotions in check. Knowing what she would be putting Jasper through. Unless he was hunting he was always nearby.

She knew that she couldn't shield them for long, so instead of shielding them she decided to suppress them and change them. There was nothing she could actually do to change what was about to unfold the next morning. The only thing she could do was her part of the plan. Worrying was just a needless waste of her energy. She was looking at a long hike in front of her and did not want to make herself mentally and physically exhausted before she even got to the trail. She let her mind drift to Emmett and his video games, Esme and the way they worked together fixing her meals. A smile graced her lips as the calm and peace, tinged with a bit of happiness entered her emotions.

Though those thoughts backfired as she saw the ones she loved on a battlefield. She shook her head dispelling those thoughts. Instead she put herself in the library surrounded by literature, the calm quiet atmosphere surrounding her as she lost herself in one of her favorite novels. As the small smile caressed her lips, this time, it stayed in place as she finished brushing her hair. She kept herself wrapped up in the calm as she headed downstairs for her breakfast.

As she exited her room she came face to face with Jasper who was standing there with a perplexed and curious look on his face. He looked her in the eye, "I was about to barge in and have a chat with you again about those emotions, but I can feel now that you righted that on your own. Though I'm not sure how..." He trailed off as he stared at her intently.

Bella looked up at him and spoke the same phrase that at one point she had told to Edward. "I'm very good at suppressing unpleasant things." She quirked a brow at him, "How else do you think I've been able to survive, for as long as I have, without being a raging lunatic." She gave him a wink as she moved past him and headed down the stairs, smelling the aroma from the kitchen, freshly baked cinnamon rolls. As the sweet smell wafted to her, her stomach let her know she was hungrier than she thought. She would need to eat to have the energy for the hike that was in front of her. She thought she would take a few energy bars with her as well. Thinking once she got to the campsite she would need some nourishment, but also knowing with her nerves and worry, she wouldn't be able to eat a lot. A few water bottles and energy bars should suffice till it was all over. She was sure once they were all home and safe Esme would be wanting to cook her a feast in celebration of winning the battle. She was going to think positive. They were all strong and Jasper had taught them to fight. She was going to believe that everyone would walk away, well, all those she considered her closest friends and family, the newborns and Victoria, well she wasn't going to go there. Tonight, would be their last night on this earth.

Bella sat at the island counter looking at the plate Esme had placed before her. Two strips of bacon, two sausage patties, hash browns, scrambled eggs, and a hot fresh from the oven cinnamon roll. Her stomach growled as she inhaled the mouthwatering aroma's. "Thank you so much Esme. It looks delicious." Bella ate in silence, enjoying every bite. As she finished her last bite her plate almost licked clean, Bella stood to wash her dishes and looked at Esme, "I was wrong delicious doesn't cover it. That right there was just heavenly, words cannot describe how great that all was. Just sweet ambrosia. You have outdone yourself once again Esme. My hats off to the chef." Bella bowed before walking to the sink with her dishes. Esme gave Bella a radiant smile and a girlish giggle at Bella's praise of her cooking.

With everything cleaned up, Bella went to grab a sturdy back pack, she grabbed an extra change of clothes, five water bottles and a box of energy bars. Esme handed her a dozen king sized snickers bars as well. Bella gave her a smile in thanks, as she did up the zipper and buckle and placed the back pack next to the door.

They walked into the living room Bella sat in her chair, as Jasper took his place next to her. The hours seemed to pass by so slowly but at the same time it seemed as though time flew by. She wanted so much for it to hurry up so they could get past all this, yet at the same time she was dreading it. Finally, Jasper caught her attention. He motioned with his head toward the door. Bella stood. Everyone came up and gave her a hug, telling her to be safe. Just as they were heading out Emmett and Rosalie entered. Emmett ran to her and picked her up giving her a tight hug. "Bella, I want you to be careful, stay safe. And no tripping and falling too much. It's not as fun if I'm not there to laugh." Bella grinned at Emmett and slapped his shoulder. "Tripping and falling is never fun Emmett, not even when you're there. That shit just plain ass hurts." Emmett laughed and hugged her again.

Rosalie looked over at her, giving her a small smile, "You'll be fine, Bella, and we will see you tomorrow. All of us. We'll all make it through this, never doubt it." Bella smiled at Rose, and walked over wrapping her arms around her. "Thank you, Rosie. Take care of Emmett, don't let him get too cocky, or do anything stupid." Rose giggled at Bella. "Of course, Bella. That's my job, twenty-four, seven. He's like a huge kid." Everyone laughed at that while Emmett pouted.

Jasper and Bella headed out the door. Bella followed Jasper to Emmett's jeep, Jasper helped her up into it, then helped her strap in, lastly, he placed her backpack in her lap then went around to the driver's side. "I'm going to drive us as close as I can to where you leave the trail." Bella nodded her understanding, and Jasper started up the jeep heading down the driveway. Bella's nervousness and anxiousness shot up as they left the safety of the driveway and headed down the road. Jasper placed a hand over hers, as he let some calm seep out into the jeep. Bella looked up at him, "Sorry, I just feel really exposed. The jeep doesn't have the tinted windows, like your truck." Jasper nodded. "Yeah, we have to use the jeep as the terrain will get really rough. My truck doesn't have the appropriate shocks for off-roading like the jeep. I didn't want to tear up the under carriage. Rose would have killed me." Bella gave him a small smile. "She does get a little... um... over protective when it comes to the vehicles." Jasper chuckled.

They drove the rest of the five miles in silence, before Jasper made a right onto what looked like a very old logging road. It wasn't too bad for the first mile, but then it went from a road to a trail, to what seemed to be a dried-up river bed. Though Bella couldn't quite understand that, Forks was way too rainy and wet for anything to dry up let alone a river. They bounced around for another five miles before the jeep couldn't fit through the trees, and so couldn't go any further. Jasper shut off the jeep, and jumped out making his way to the passenger side to help Bella from the jeep. As he helped her down she grabbed on to his arm waiting for her land legs to come back. Once she was steady she released his arm. He picked her up and ran ten minutes to the spot where the trail would begin.

Jasper pointed out the direction for her to walk and told her just trail her hands over everything within reach, Bella gave a nod as she began to walk through the trees and bushes. Her main worry being that she would trip over the mess of tangled branches, bushes, debris, as well as roots that made up the forest floor. As she walked, Jasper kept pace with her walking a parallel path twenty yards away to her left. As they walked along Bella got hit by an idea, she ran her fingers through her hair, loose strands clung to her fingers, she looked over at Jasper, "Will this help?" She held up the strands to him then wrapped them around a leaf that was attached to a shrub closest to her. Jasper gave her a nod, "Yes, that'll help, but you don't have to pull out your hair. Your doin' fine darlin." Bella gave Jasper a smile, "No worries, humans hair has a tendency to break, so I'm not actually pulling it out, just grabbing the loose hairs is all." Jasper nodded. They walked for a while before Bella's feet and legs were crying out to her. She wasn't used to all this activity. She spotted a log up a head and walked to it, she climbed on it and sat down as she called to Jasper. "I need a break, we've been walking a while now." Jasper gave a curt nod, "Yes, about an hour actually. You'll be happy to know we are a little over half way there." Bella gave a nod as she rested. Taking off the backpack she rummaged through it grabbing an energy bar as well as a bottle of water.

Once she had finished and stored her garbage inside her backpack, she stood ready for the last half of the trail. She continued forward, running her hands through her hair. She wasn't getting any more, loose strands but she remembered Edward telling her that when she fluffed her hair, or swept it to the side, a gust of her scent would hit him. She had then gotten into the habit of wearing it up a lot, either in a loose bun, or ponytail. Just to keep from having to constantly sweep it out of her face. Though wearing it up had posed an issue all on its own as then her neck was fully exposed, and apparently, very tempting. The loose ponytail or braid seemed to work the best as it didn't expose as much of her neck as a messy bun or up do had done. Jasper broke through her thoughts, "About another 15 minutes walking at this pace, you'll most likely be able to see a brightness start up ahead soon, showing the trees getting a little sparser as we get closer to the field." Bella was so glad to almost be through the woods that she wasn't paying as much attention to her feet as she was trying to hurry out the forest.

Rushing had not been a wise idea, as true to Bella form, she tripped over a tree root. Her hand automatically reaching out to brace her fall. She caught herself on a branch, only for it to give way under her weight. The branch snapping off in her hand, made her fall forward further, causing it to pierce her skin on the palm of her hand, it sliced her hand open as gravity took over and pulled her to the forest floor. Jasper watched as she stood up. She held up her other hand to him a silent sign to stay where he was. "Jasper, stay there, I'm bleeding. I'm okay I promise it doesn't look too bad. Trust me I've had worse." She stood holding her hand and checking it when she was struck with another idea. Breathing carefully through her mouth as she still had her issues with the smell of blood, though not as bad as before. She began to press her bleeding hand on everything around her. She continued to walk forward trailing her bleeding hand over everything within reach as she went.

"Damn Bella, way to get them all riled up. It's perfect. They'll be so distracted when they enter the field. It will be so easy to pick them off. Good thinking, though I'm worried now, you no doubt have it completely filthy, Carlisle will not be pleased." Bella gave him a smile. "It's worth it Jasper." Five minutes later they were walking through the final trees, before breaking through into the field. Carlisle stood waiting for them. As soon as he saw Bella he rushed forward. She held out her hand to him, he clucked and tsked her, as he cleaned her wound and bandaged it up. "I'll have to redress it tomorrow once this business is all over." Bella gave him a nod. "Thanks. And please be careful tomorrow, you and mom both." Bella hugged Carlisle as he promised her they would all be fine, before letting go and walking toward Jacob she whispered as quietly as she could. "Love you Dad." She stepped away and headed towards Jacob giving Jasper and Carlisle one last wave. Grabbing the hair tie around her wrist Bella put her hair in a quick braid so not to have it trailing and leaving a scent. Glad she had thought of it this morning. She stepped in front of Jacob and looked up at him.

Jacob gave her a grin and picked her up bridal style to begin the last leg of the hike. Jacob set off at an easy jog, as Bella curled into his chest trying to make herself as small as possible to reduce the risk of her touching any leaves or branches as they past. Finally, after a while Bella spoke to break the silence. "Jake, you don't need to run the whole way there. You're going to tire yourself out. I'm pretty sure that by the half way point I'm going to be getting pretty heavy."

Jacob looked down at Bella giving her a small chuckle. "No worries Bells, it's a wolf thing. I can run like this for hours and not even feel the strain. I don't even feel your weight. I could run even faster, but there's a higher chance of your hair or something getting tangled in low hanging branches. Plus, I think jogging would be better than walking. I want to get you there and under cover before that storm hits. It's going to be really cold tonight. I'll leave first thing in the morning to join the battle." Bella gave him a quick nod of understanding. The two fell silent for a bit longer.

This time it was Jacob that broke the silence. "Bells, I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I promised to be there for you after Charlie, and I broke that promise. I had my reasons, but still it doesn't make it right. I should have called or something to let you know what was going on. I just... I had a lot to deal with." Bella looked up at him the best she could, as she placed her hand on his cheek. "What... what happened Jake?" Jacobs grip on her tightened slightly, as he looked down at her. "Two days after we lost Charlie, Harry passed. Massive heart attack. There wasn't even time to do anything, he was gone before he hit the floor." Jacob spoke so quietly Bella had to strain to hear. But once the words echoed in her mind her heart broke yet again. "Oh... oh god, how's Sue, Leah, and Seth? I wish you had called, I would have been there. He was as much as an Uncle to me as Billy is. Him and Billy were Dads best friends." A tear fell from her eye trailing down her cheek. Jacob quickly leaned down and licked it. Bella gave him a questioning look as she raised a brow.

"Trying not to leave your scent, Bells. No crying. At least hold off till we get to the campsite." Bella gave Jacob a curt nod, as she tried her best to lock her emotions down. "Sue of course took it very hard. Billy's been hanging out with her a lot trying to help her cope as best as he can. I couldn't have you come to the res. I wanted to, I knew how much you'd want to be there. But, well the Clearwater's are as ancestral as the Black's and the Uley's. Well, ummm Leah phased as well as Seth. But Leah's anger at losing her father and then having to come to terms with being the only female to have ever phased; La Push wasn't a very safe place. I couldn't have you there, I was ordered not to. Sam's the Alpha, what he says, well we have no choice but to follow his rules.

"Look, there's a lot you don't know about the wolf stuff, and as much as I would like to tell you everything. I'm not allowed. There's only so much you can know. The only ones that are allowed to be in on everything are the Tribal Elders, the ones in the Pack, of course, and their imprints."

"Wait... imprints?"

"Imprinting, it's like everything shifts. No longer does gravity hold you to this earth. The moment you see her, it's her and you know down deep it's always been her. She's everything. The missing piece you never knew was missing. You'll be anything for her, whatever she needs, brother, protector, friend, lover."

Bella craned her neck looking up at Jake, "She's your home. Your piece of mind, your other half. She completes you in ways you never knew you were incomplete."

Jake smiled down at her. "Exactly. So back to what I was saying, I can't tell you everything. But I can tell you the things that affect you. I told you, back when I told you the stories, I told you about the treaty. The treaty states, the Cullens cannot bite a human. Meaning not only can they not drink from them but they cannot change them either. Sam and I talked, and then we went to the Tribal Elders and talked with them. We know you cannot live a normal life in the human world. With everything you've been through, there's no possible way you could live a normal happy life. And let's face it Bella, you've never been what most would call normal." Jake chuckled, as Bella slapped his arm, though the smile was playing on her lips. "Alright Jake, I'll give you that."

"I asked that you be able to live on the res. I was denied. They know you can't live among humans, and as much as they all loved your Dad, and some love you. The Elders are concerned with your brush with the blood suckers. As much as I argued that we could keep you safe and our people, they think that you being there could be too much of a risk to our people. Our top priority is to keep the tribe safe. Our people first, pale faces come second. So, the conclusion we came to keep you safe as well as others, and mostly our tribe. You may be turned by the Cullens. The stipulations are, firstly, you have to abide by their diet; and secondly, you may come back to Forks to visit periodically, but no longer can the Cullens use Forks as a permanent residence."

"But there will be no war. The pack will not come after them or me? That's what you're saying. " Jake gave a curt nod. Bella took a breath, releasing it in a sigh. "Okay, I think we can live with that. It seems the only option. After this is all over I will have to talk to Carlisle. The Elders are right it's not safe to keep me. The Volturi will eventually find out about me, and when they do they will come for me. There is a law that must be abided by. Humans are not to know about Vampires, if a human finds out they are to be dealt with in one of two ways, either they are killed or they are turned. If the Volturi come after me and I'm hiding on the res. It will put everyone in danger. Jake, I really don't want to die. I know that becoming a vampire is worse than death in your eyes, but from my perspective, I have fought too long and too hard to survive only to face being put to death, when there is another option. And the diet thing, you don't have to worry about that. I don't ever want to hunt humans. I won't kill people. It just seems wrong to me. Especially if you think about it, there are other options for feeding without harming innocent people. So, you have my word, I will not ever bite another human, not to feed on and I don't ever plan on changing another human. I just know, for me, there is no other option. Either way I have to die. I'd just prefer my death not being the end of my existence."

Jake gave her another nod, before pulling her close to his chest. "I'm going to speed up a bit, the storm is coming in and I want you under cover before it hits. We'll be there soon." Bella nodded at his words as he went from a gentle jog to a loping run. Using the length of his legs and his speed to cover more ground quickly.

It didn't take too long before they reached the clearing. Jacob strode across the clearing quickly, stopping in front of the tent; placing Bella on her feet he unzipped the flap and ushered her in zipping it up behind him. The tent was spacious, Jacob wrinkled his nose as the overly sweet scent of vampire hit him in the face. Bella stepped in the center standing at full height and surveyed her surroundings. Jacob hunched over made his way next to her then sat down on a mound of blankets.

The tent wasn't as cold as Bella expected it, the reason was four metal buckets, one bucket in each corner of the tent. In each bucket was a large rock, the kind that would circle a fire pit. Bella could feel a little heat still coming out of the bucket. She clucked her tongue in realization. 'Heat Rocks, cool' she thought. She made her way over to the other mound of blankets topped with a thermal insulated sleeping bag and sat down.

A moment later the wind picked up and howled around the tent. Bella braced herself expecting the tent to topple over with the strength of the wind. It held firm, Bella shivered, not so much from the cold but from the knowledge of how cold it was outside the tent. Jacob moved closer to her and put an arm around her. "Don't worry, my body heat will keep you warm through the night." Bella gave him a nod.

Jacob grabbed a backpack that had been slightly hid behind and under the mound if blankets he was sitting on, he moved it in front of Bella. She looked down at it and then looked up at Jacob, with a questioning look.

"Peter left it here for you a few things he said you may need to get through the night."

Realization dawned in her eyes as she began to unzip it and take out the contents. A couple packs of smokes, and two bottles of Whiskey. Looking at the Whiskey, Bella quirked a brow at Jacob. "Not my usual type of drink." Jacob gave her a grin.

"Peter says this will help stave off the cold till my body heat begins to radiate throughout the tent. It will warm you up on the inside to battle the cold on the outside. Peter's a little upset that he doesn't get to see your face when you take your first shot of Whiskey." Jacob chuckled. Bella shrugged and pulled out a pack of smokes, lighter, and ashtray from the bag. She placed the items in front of her, then grabbed her own backpack. She opened it and pulled out the water bottles as well as the king-sized Snickers bars. Jacob quirked a brow at her.

Bella grinned up at Jacob, "Dinner fit for a king, Snickers and Whiskey." Jacob chuckled as he grabbed a Snickers. "I'll leave the Whiskey for you and just stick with the Snickers."

Bella grabbed the pack of smokes and lit up a cigarette. " I know the smell is probably strong to your sensitive puppy nose, but I think it will help a little with the vampire smell that I'm sure you are dealing with."

Jacob gave her a small smile. "I'm not sure how well it will work but I'm hoping you're right. The sickly-sweet scent of vampire is overwhelming right now." Bella gave him a nod as she opened the bottle of Whiskey, she eyed it carefully before taking a taste. It wasn't bad a little stronger than what she was used to but not too bad. She shrugged and took a full shot. Jacob gave a grin and a chuckle.

The night creeped by slowly, especially after Jacob fell asleep. Bella sat up, afraid to sleep she drank the Whiskey until she started to feel over heated. She smoked her cigarettes and munched on the energy bars and a Snickers. Her head full of worries, she was tired but she was afraid to fall asleep. She worried about screaming in her sleep and scaring the hell out of Jacob. There was no one here that could calm her. In the wee early morning hours, Bella's eyelids finally closed as she lost the war to stay awake all night.

Bella fell into a restless sleep. Tossing and turning and constantly mumbling under her breath. As the hours passed Bella's restlessness and mumbling increased. A few hours after dawn Jacob awoke to Bella's talking in her sleep. He sat up and watched her for a few making out the words she was saying. He looked at her quizzically as he realized she was calling out for Phil and her mom. He didn't understand her having nightmares about her mom and step dad. He leaned over and gently began to shake her shoulder to wake her up before she got any louder.

"Bella, Bells. Wake-up Bells. Come on wake-up Bells." Bella started to stir her mumbling ceased as she rolled towards Jacob. Her eyes opened and she looked up to see Jacob's worried face peering down at her.

"Hey, Jake. Morning already?"

"Yeah Bells, you were getting pretty loud. Had to wake you up."

Bella sat up and looked down in her lap. "Sorry about that Jake. I um normally have Jasper calming me throughout the night. Without his influence my nightmares can get really bad. I hope I didn't worry you too much."

"No, you're fine. I just didn't want you getting too loud. You're supposed to be in hiding. And it was time for us to be waking up anyway. I need to head out to the clearing and join up with the rest of the pack. Peter and Charlotte are around, they are hiding out just in case. Peter thinks there's a good chance someone might show up here, and he wants to make sure you're protected. Don't worry about the reservation, we have some of the pack there to protect the rest of the tribe."

Bella gave a nod, as she grabbed the backpack and rummaged out a water bottle and the last of the energy bars. She slowly began munching on her breakfast. Her stomach couldn't handle much, with her nerves and anxiety going full hilt. She wished Jasper was here to calm her but at the same time she was glad he wasn't around to feel all of her chaotic emotions.

Jacob got up, giving Bella a quick hug. "Everything will be fine Bells, don't worry so much." Bella returned the hug and nodded into his shoulder. He pulled away and made his way out of the tent. A tear trickled down Bella's face as she heard him make his way towards the tree line. Disappearing into the woods.

Bella sat there in the silence. Her anxiety increasing with every passing second. She grabbed her pack of cigarettes and pulled one out. Lighting up she inhaled deeply, letting the cigarette calm her nerves. Though by itself it wasn't helping as much as she hoped. She really hated drinking so early but today would have to be an exception. She quickly grabbed the bottle, unscrewing the lid, she took a swig, then another, she took a third one before recapping the bottle and setting it next to her. Taking another drag from her cigarette she started to feel the effects of both combined and her anxiety started to decrease.

With nothing else to do but sit and worry she decided to try to keep busy. Standing up in the tent she put her shoes back on that she didn't remember removing the night before. She began putting the garbage and the snack food that Jacob had left around his bedding and put it all away, then she began folding up all the blankets as well as her sleeping bag cleaning up the tent and getting it ready for when it was time to take all this stuff home when the battle was over.

Unfortunately, it didn't take very long and everything was done. With nothing else to do she grabbed another cigarette and her watch from the bag. She lit up and checked the time. It was 8:30 a.m. Jacob had left about thirty minutes before to meet up with the pack and get into position. According to Peter the battle would start at approximately 9:10 a.m. Which left way too much time on her hands to sit here and worry herself into a panic attack.

Bella knew that the closer it got to the time of the battle her panic and anxiety was going to sky rocket, not to mention, when the battle started. She was going to go insane with worry; knowing her family was on the field fighting for her. She wasn't sure how she was going to be able to sit here and do nothing while the rest of the family fought for her safety. She had noticed last night that there were two bottles of whiskey as well as two packs of cigarettes. She was sure she'd go through most of the second pack of cigarettes anyway the pack she opened last night was just about gone. But she didn't think she would drink that much alcohol but she did decide to go ahead and finish off the rest of the bottle of whiskey she had opened the night before.

The bottle was relatively small and she had drunk quite a bit the night before, as well as the few shots she had had this morning. But in order to keep herself relatively sane she decided to go ahead and finish off the bottle. She had really cut back on her smoking but she figured today she was allowed to chain smoke without too many of them being too upset. It's not like it would really have any dire effects on her. She was going to be turned soon.

The minutes creeped by as she sat there smoking and drinking. Once the bottle was empty she put it in one of the backpacks, cleaning up her garbage. She got lost in thought as she worried about each and every family member down in the clearing. She looked at her watch again and realized time had passed, and the battle had already begun it was 9:15. Her breath hitched in her throat and she put out her cigarette. She again cleaned up her garbage before standing in the tent. She began to pace.

The seconds ticked slowly by turning to minutes as Bella continued to pace the tent. Bella felt her anxiety spiral out of control. She began to talk to herself within her own mind. A lot had changed in the past few months. But she knew she could handle this, she had to deal with her anxiety and the uncontrollable amount of stress and fear before Jasper had shown up. Bella did as she had done before. She closed her eyes and stopped pacing standing still, she forcibly centered herself, taking deep calming breaths.

Her senses open and attuned to everything around her, the wind rustling against the tent, and ruffling the branches of the trees around her. The smells of the tent, and woods surrounding her. Her vision cleared, the haziness and tunnel vision that her anxiety had brought on no longer there. Her peripheral vision back to working order she could see the side of the tent in front of her the front of the tent to her right, the flap zipped yet still moving slightly with the wind, and the back of the tent on her left.

She stood like that for a few minutes, then slowly she started to feel a slight buzzing along her skin. The slight buzz that had always alerted her when danger was coming her way. It was almost a warning system letting her know Victoria was close and pain would be coming soon as another session of her torture was almost upon her. She slowly turned to face the front of the tent, staring intently at the zippered flap.

Bella heard the unmistakable sound of ripping fabric, in the next instant the tent no longer surrounded her. She now felt the bitter cold wind whipping around her slight frame, through her hoodie and jacket, which she wore over her long-sleeved shirt. She took in the inch and a half of snow that covered the ground, her body shivered in the cold. She saw nothing but a blur before her eyes adjusted and she was looking eye to eye at Victoria.

The deep crimson color of Victoria's eyes sent a different type of shiver down her spine. Before Victoria could make a sound or move, she was once again a blur as a deep and ferocious growl rumbled through the clearing; bouncing of the rock wall that was a few yards away to her left. The blur had moved to her right. Bella subconsciously moved towards the rock wall, turning her back to the wall pressing herself up against it, Bella continued to watch the blurred movements. Her eyes unable to keep up with the vampire speed.

Peter had known Victoria would show, but it wasn't until the last minute that he realized she wouldn't be alone. He had told Charlotte to keep an ear out the second she heard a whistle she was to run to Bella's aid. He told her to be safe and gave her a quick kiss before leaping from the tree branch they had been sitting on. He landed just to the side of Bella shoving Victoria off to the side, as he lunged for her. Peter began the deadly dance of battle.

He was fast and deadly as he struck numerous times getting bites in, but not quite able to get a hold of her well enough to be able to rip off pieces. Victoria wasn't expecting these unknown to be protecting the human. She tried to slip past him repeatedly to get to the human but was constantly thwarted. She realized that she did need help and was glad she had thought to bring her companion Riley, as well as the newborn she chose specifically for Bella to see.

Victoria gave out a low whistle. Bella barely heard the whistle and thought it was only the wind. She watched the blurs in front of her as two more blurs entered her peripheral one on each side and both coming at her at an alarming speed. The blur in front of her stopped long enough for her to take in Peter's action of throwing Victoria hard and far and again he was just a blur to Bella as he spun around and launched himself at the blur to her right. On her left and her right there were blurs that resounded in the sounds of boulders crashing into each other fallowed by the shrieking sound of metal being torn apart.

The blur to her left stopped to resume being a blur in front of her once again. The blur on her right continued, her eyes adjusted and noted the fact that there were now body pieces strewn about on the ground. Bella's eyes widened in horror as her mind took in the fact that there was a hand laying on the ground. The hand was moving across the ground by the use of its fingers pulling it along. Adam's Family popped into her head, as she watched _Thing_ move across the ground. But this was so much more surreal and creepier than television.

The sound of tearing metal again reverberated off the rock wall and surrounding woods, as the blur to her right came to a stop and Bella realized it was Char who had been fighting with a third vamp. Bella watched in horror as a head began rolling towards her. Her horror increased as a look of recognition shadowed her eyes. Her dream from the early morning hours sprang to her mind as she saw the face of the newborn vampire laying unblinking mouth opened wide in terror. Bella felt her mind shutting down and knew soon she would not be able to remain standing.

Charlotte had noticed Bella's look of horror and rushed to her side. She held on to Bella's shoulders holding her upright at the same time as trying to give Bella strength. Charlotte began talking to Bella trying to get her to stay strong. At first Bella barely heard her, the words sounding as though they were being spoken underwater. Charlotte put her hand in front of Bella's face snapping her fingers. Bella finally blinked and looked at Charlotte.

"Bella, Bella. I need ya ta stay strong. Just a little longer sug. I know this is very hard on ya and I'm so sorry we had ta do this in front of ya. Please, sug. Can ya do that for me?"

Bella looked at Charlotte unable to speak, she gave a slight nod of her head. Bella shut down her emotions as best as she could and locked her muscles into place to prevent her from falling to the forest floor. Charlotte gave her a nod, and stepped back. She eyed Bella making sure that she would remain standing upright, before she turned and ran over to the fire pit. She quickly started a fire and went about tossing the body pieces into the flames. Causing a sickly-sweet aroma to fill the area as purple smoke began to rise in the air.

Bella watched as Charlotte grabbed the head, and knowing what was about to happen Bella snapped her eyes from that sight up over to the blur that was still going on in front of her. It took a second for her to realize that the blur was actually pieces being thrown into the fire. Bella's eyes immediately went back to Char. Bella seeing Char basically catch bits and pieces and throw them into the fire, knew that Peter was alright, it was Victoria that was being torn apart.

Bella's relief lasted only a second as the sight of Phil's head rolling across the ground played in her mind on repeat. Shaking her head to dispel the visual, she took a deep breath and watched closely, as Peter tore Victoria apart. Even though it was nothing more than a blur, she was sure she would be able to tell when the time was right.

Bella watched as Charlotte caught a disformed looking arm and threw it to the flames, she knew she had to say something now or it would be too late. Finding the strength, she didn't know she had, Bella was able to vocalize her thoughts. Her voice came out strong and clear.

"I want her head."

Charlotte stopped instantly spinning around to look at Bella. Her eyes wide with surprise. She looked Bella in the eyes trying to read what the girl was thinking. Peter had finally slowed his movements down for Bella to be able to see. He had thoroughly dismembered Victoria. He tossed her legs and remaining arm as well as other small pieces and finally her torso towards Charlotte who caught them and threw them into the fire. Peter gave Bella a long look before grabbing Victoria's head by the hair, he cautiously walked over to Bella. He looked very uncertain, as he stood there trying to gauge her; and read her thoughts and emotions. He was stumped as to what he should do. His main concern was what would Jasper want him to do. He didn't want to piss off lil bit, but he definitely didn't want to piss off the Major.

He could tolerate a pissed off Bella, but the Major could remove a limb or two. He was undecided and unsure of what he should do and his so-called gift of 'knowing shit' wasn't helping him at all at the moment.

Bella looked him in the eye, "It's okay Peter, just put her head in one of the back packs. If you are seriously worried about others reactions. We'll take the head with us. I can explain myself to the others as well as to you, and therefore, no ramifications. Deal?"

Peter tilted his head to the side, then gave her a quick nod. "Deal."

He turned and grabbed both backpacks rearranging things, putting everything in one pack and Victoria's head in the other.

Peter helped Charlotte make sure there were no more pieces of vampire anywhere. Once they had secured the area and the last piece of vampire had burned to ash, Peter handed Charlotte the bags, and turned to carry Bella. He looked at her questioningly, he could tell she was holding on by a mere thread, in that second her hold collapsed as they all heard the sound that echoed through the woods, a sound of great sorrow, the sound of wolves howling in the distance.

Bella lost her hold on reality as her mind shut down, her eyes closed and her body went limp as she passed out from sheer emotional strain. Peter caught her by the arm, pulling her into his arms, as he held her close to his chest. He cursed under his breath as Charlotte looked at him in horror as they both heard the snap of a bone in her arm. All he could think was the Major was going to have his head for this. Peter carefully adjusted Bella in his arms making sure he wouldn't cause her more injury, before taking off for the clearing, with Charlotte at his side.

"It'll be okay Peter, it was an accident."

"You and I know that, hell, the Major will know and understand that; but at the same time, he's gonna have my head."


End file.
